Out of a million language
I've been taught a few
I learned how to put the letters into words, the words into sentences and the sentences into question marks
I've stolen each dot I could find and held it betwen my fingers as if it was mine to hold
Then I hid it,
Underneath my pillow waiting for some sort of fairy to turn it into gold.
I just didn't know
I didn't know that each dot was a seed to a plant holding more needles than it does roses.
I didn't know it could grow so fast that it brings in other creatures into life.
Out of nowhere.
I swear, I can hear monsters grin at the sight of my neck
I can see bees building kingdoms out of my own flesh
I can feel germs crawling under my skin biting their way into my kidney, my liver, up to my heart.
Now I can't put myself to sleep for there's a wilderness on top of my bed waiting to swallow me like the only meal there is.
And God They did
They taught me all about languages but How?
How do I put my insomnia into words?!
How do I communicate my fear?!
Teach my scars to speak the dreadful venom out of them
Teach my nails to rip the chains out of my wrists
Teach my fingers to let go
Let the dots slip
I'm tired,
God
May the moon be my witness
I've told him all about the bed time stories I didn't hear
I've apologized to the sun for its awake is no longer beautiful
For the light it's giving to the world hurts my eyes
for the voices rising throughout the day translate nothing but agony into misspelled poems I could've written
God, do I hate that I can no longer function for the electricity within me is fading away
So Stop
Don't teach me about languages anymore
I've had enough.