Not an easy thing
I am shriveled and weak
So see through my eyes
I am small and meek

Look into my head
A constant chatter
A thousand thoughts
Echo that I don't matter

I'm grasping at straws
And wishing on stars
That I could see any value
Underneath my scars

Do you think I don't beg
At night as I scream
Desperate for relief
Desperate to dream

So far I am worthless
No inherent use
My entire existence
Is unhinged and loose

So throw me away
Lend me some meaning
So that when I am gone
It won't be so unseeming

Let me do what I can
Vicarious meaning or not
So perhaps I'll wake up
Instead of laying to rot

Swirling in my head
A white noise screaming
But stuck quietly
Softly seeming

One moment
And ten all glued together
Stuck up all in a knot
A noose neck tether

What do I make of it
A tangled chest of something
Rattling and clanging
I fear it to be nothing

This is entirely your fault
A song stuck in my head
Playing on a messy loop
I can't even go to bed

I held you once
And once again
Messy unkempt emotions
I leave myself to pain

And silent sealed lips
You shall never hear of this
I'll stew and roll over
And hope the emotions miss

Ignore the way I look at you
It will leave if given time
It was a kindness for you to hold me
It does not make you mine

I'll pray that time may stop
Just for a second or more
To etch your eyes into my soul
Before you walk out the door

This may be simple loneliness
But your smile lights the room
I'll catch it just one more
And accept bittersweet doom

My sister has curly hair
From day one
She has cut and burned it at every chance

Her hair is dark and thick
Like our fathers
I wish I had his hair instead

I wish the follicles on my head
Wernt thin and brittle
And quick to fall

Would that make me a man?

My sister has a flat chest,
My ******* have been called the best
My family and friends alike

She calls her own chest, childlike
If we traded, and my breath was unstressed
If they fell from my body

Would that make me a man?

What an unjust God
Who would give us bodies
That did not fit our souls

What cruel diety
Would leave us feeling
So cramped

Age is measured
by number of years
10, 20, 30
counted by your peers

you're born with a number
that sticks with you through life
you can't shake it off
no matter the strife

you're labeled by worth
"how much money have you?"
not by your soul
or how far your heart flew

you're labeled in death
by the year that you died
not the life that you lived
or the tears that you cried

you get a number in prison
your name doesn't matter
for all that they care
you're another mad hatter

you're judged by your height
or the pounds that you weight
only those who are famous
are judged by what they say

so many numbers
and to you they are sown
judged by a number
and not the unknown

Crashing on rocks
A salty spray
Rising and falling
Each passing day

Beating on rocks
Turning then smooth
A crashing song
That seems to soothe

Sitting on the beach
Dark clouds hang above
This soothing tune
Made for both sorrow and love

Oh, how the vast ocean
Makes my life small
My problems seem no longer
So very tall

The tears on ny face
Drops in the sea
Not all that different
Both wet and salty

dripping, dripping
Gone with the tide
The huge ocean
Shrinking my already small pride

This poor old bear
Tag torn and tattered
Only a voice in my head
But you told me I mattered

Once snowy white
You've darkened with time
You've been through so much
And become covered in grime

Your fur soft and worn
You gathered my tears
A voice in my head
But you drove away fears

They can call me insane
But they never cared
I didn't let go of my mind
I simply shared

Poor old bear
You've been through so much
And even after so many years
You're still calming to touch.

What is life.
So many would ask.
What is the object.
Behind the mask.

Some see the good.
Like rainbows and sun.
A joyous thing.
In which we run.

Some see the bad.
Like pain and tears.
Afraid to live.
Because of their fears.

What do I think.
I'll tell you my dear.
Death comes to all.
Our time is short here.

Life has no meaning.
It's to quick to sever.
Death is what matters.
It lasts forever.

Sit among the willows
And do not bow your head
Lay low along the sweet grass
Which hides the stench of dead

Bury deep then
Your darkest thoughts
And think upon them still
As they sit with that which rots

It is not your place
To hide your face
From life which already knows it

Foe nor friend nor love long gone
You may not be guided here
The sweetest wine is dust now tasted
Lay low all which you hold dear

The simple savories you indulged
Have bled through bleeding hands
Now twice and thrice they wither
In foreign familiar lands

Take up this sword O daughter, O son
From now until your job is done
Burn twice as bright as me

What will happen.
When I remove the lid.
Will I take revenge.
For what you did.

Open the box.
Look inside.
All of mans nightmares.
In there do hide.

Remove the top.
Watch men cry.
For an end to pain.
For mercy from on high.

Open the box.
Look inside.
All of mans nightmares.
In there do hide.

I will let loose.
Famine and disease.
Unless you kneel to me.
And do as I please.

Open the box.
Look inside.
All of mans nightmares.
In there do hide.

When I pull of the lid.
And set loose sorrow.
How can any man.
Look for a new tomorrow.

Open the box.
Look inside.
All o mans nightmares.
In there do hide.

So easy.
So quick.
To end all mankind.
By giving a lid a flick.

Open the box.
Look inside.
All of mans nightmares.
In there do hide.

Man is weak.
And so very frail.
They forget the stories.
Of the maybe true tail.

Check in the closet
And under the bed
I thought something moved
Was it in my head...?

The shadows have eyes
That branch is a claw
That clown on the chair
It moved, I saw!

Was that a scream that I heard
Or just the screen door
My sanity is slipping
I can't take anymore.

Cover my head
And wait for the sun
It's all in my head
And there's nowhere to run

Do you see it,
The weight I bare
The pencil in my hand
And the smile hardly there

Salted tears
Become my ink
And the timer runs fast
On my time to think

The tip of my pen
That I struggle to pull
Is denser than gold,
The weight of a soul

Envy my work
And the words that I say
But you will never envy
The price that I pay

A pat for a pat
Or an eye for an eye
I scratch creativity's back
And it leaves me to die

Tears burn like fire
At two in the morn
But choking on sobs
To silence I'm sworn

With tears as my ink
Now littered on the page
Each word is a needle
And each line a cage

Inspiration is fleeting
Do not take it light
For we so named poets
Our genius is our blight

Dripping, Dripping
It's all gone
Draining, Falling
As I whisper my song

Sliding down
To the tip
From my knife
Blood does drip

Walking away
My footprints red
Splashing in puddles
That flow from your head

Like a young child
Playing in rain
I assure you sir
I'm perfectly sane

In fact, just maybe
I'm more sane then you
I simply see the world
In a darker hue

Red, black and grey
To be perfectly clear
And that bright red
Always brings a sneer

So I'll dance through puddles
Like a child in rain
Pretty red puddles
Brought by others pain

This world is so dark
So corrupt and unkind
How should anyone
Be able to keep their mind

But I tell you now sir
There is nothing wrong
With the violent words
In my ****** sweet song

This smile on my face
I swear it is real
I have no reason to hide
No reason to conceal

This body at my feet
He was only a toy
Oh, I loved the screams
Of that poor little boy

This world is rotten
So why do you care
How many humans
I ****** and ensnare

Death is natural
I'm just speeding it up
I don't care what weapon
I can even use a cup

Look at the red blood
A thick crimson ocean
And all it requires
Is a quick killing motion

I'm totally sane
My logic is true
But all humans fear
The strange and the new

Why so shocked
Your face has gone green
Does the blood make you sick
Do you wish it unseen

This world is gone
Already doomed to die
So why does one death
Make you cry

I can **** you to
If that's what you want
Uh oh, to late
Hope that's what you sought

My knife in your gut
The blood coming out
You should be happy
Don't frown and pout

Your life is fading
I see it in your eye
I pull my blade out
And wave a goodbye

This world is dying
I'm just upping the pace
Why prolong
Our fading into space

And to most it's a crime
But I won't feel bad
Not if as I do it
There is fun to be had

Because why not enjoy it
The cries and the pain
When from the bloodshed
There's a smile to gain

Dance with me
Demon
For I am a poet
And I will dream on

My dreams may be nightmares
That you dragged along
But I'll use my pen
And make them a song

Everyone had demons
But I am a poet
And through words
I will show it

I fight with my demons
Just like you
But for a few short lines
I'll dance with them too

Ran in a circle
To see where I'd been
Landed flat on my face
Just to start again

I asked the vampire
If it hurt his mind
To feed on the living
And to leave time behind

I asked the ghost
If it pained his soul
To know he was no more
Than a formless immortal

I asked the werwolf
If it tormented his heart
To know how he mindlessly
Rips people apart

They all answered yes
It pained them so
To know of the sorrow
That they themselves sow

They weeped at the thought
They cried for the dead
Tears dripped from their eyes
As they hung their head

I asked them of their home
Of the shadows in which they live
They went utterly silent
They had only horror to give

But in all honesty
The shadows seem nice
They called it evil
Filled with rats and mice

Next time you want life
Or strength beyond measure
Or more time with family
Just simply remember

Choose your words wisely
Or you will live feeling sad
Say what you mean
Or you will be had

Rain falls through the sky
Each small, little drop
And falls into puddles
With a soft little plop

The rain looks so sad
The sky covered in cloud
Strong claps of thunder
Turning quiet to loud

Why does the sky weep
And turn its face grey
If you listen to the wind
What would it say

Mighty, fast winds
That fall from the sky
That bends down the trees
Is the earths sigh

But as the sky weeps
It waters the ground
And soon after it stops
Not another sound

The tears of the sky
Dampen the earth
Giving green life
And Mother Nature rebirth

Every tear that falls
Washes out pain
Makes way for joy
The beauty of rain

I fade into the background
So easy to forget
And though it's not my fault
I alway come to regret

And every conversation
Despite the laughes or tears
Now all seem so meaningless
Sad forgotten years

They never seemed to notice
What the silence meant
A silent cry for help
My energy, on forced silence, spent

So back to isolation
It's clearly understandable
For though all others are
I'm clearly not irreplaceable

I do hope you're a *******
Because the smile on your face is horribly sadistic
And I'll make it hurt
As I carve it from your face

A cold winters night.
The moon did not rise.
This cold winters night.
Was the night of your demise.

You crashed through the door.
With a bottle of beer.
You chugged till the bottom.
To bury your fear.

The night had been rough.
The stars did not shine.
You were ***** and smelly.
And covered in grime.

Pushed in the mud.
Kicked in the face.
Told by every rich man.
To stay in your place.

Money run dry.
Spent on ***** and liquor.
Your ego shrunk to nothing.
Your dignity no more.

You had no reason to live.
You pulled out your gun.
Was it really alright.
To be a coward and run?

No it wasn't ok.
You repeated this over although
Still put the gun to your head.
And painted a scarlet window.

Forwards and backwards
Mirrored upsidedown
Don't look quite so close
You might see me frown

I zoom into the day
I can laugh and smile
Take a wrong step back
And regret for a while

Pull a single mask off
See another beneath
Imposter times two
With zero relief

I zoom out of the day
Can't be bothered to care
Ask the one who zoomed in
If they've some emotions to spare

Zoom in zoom out
Puffed eyes dipped in apathy
Crystal ***** rolling randomly
In biweekly duality

Pick my brain for a joke
Find chewed gum thoughts
Lost under my tounge
Next to half undone knots

I am a selfish girl
Laughing as much as I do
Smiling as much as I can
And forcing you to laugh to

Telling jokes you can’t resist
Just to see you grin
Show me your beautiful joy
And maybe I can win

And when you can’t find your laugh
Hand to me your heart
The pieces it’s in don’t matter
I’ll fix what falls apart

Because I’m a selfish girl
And if you’ve had yet to see
I’ll hold your world together
So that I don’t have to fix me

Come to me
I whisper in your ear
Listen to the sweet words
That you now hear

Pulling you away
Out of the light
With sweet promises
Of removing your fright

Lovely silk words
Roll off a silver tongue
And into my web
Now you are strung

My words a tangled web
Glittering in morning dew
But all who have entered
With venom I slew

Out from the shadows
I whisper sweet lies
To pull you to darkness
Where only evil thrives

Each golden word
So easy to say
But it is with the same words
It is you I will slay

Your sorrow is funny
Your tears are a joke
I'm laughing at the pitiful words
In which you do choke

You want to see truth
Look into my eyes
My deadly, dark gaze
Is not made of lies

Come into darkness
You'll have nothing to fear
And my dark, chilling laughter
Is the last that you'll hear

Breath it in
Sharp and crisp
A small smell of that
No more than a wisp

Eyes snap wide open
A ticking nearby
A loud breathing here
A sleeping sigh

Feel the cold
The window so clear
The night sky you can see
The dark you can't hear

Listen for crickets
Chirping outside
They have no blanket
In which they can hide

Eyes so wide open
Laying in bed
Under a blanket
A restless head

Thinking on things
During day you thought not
Thinking for answers
Never getting what you sought

One in the morning
Eyes still to wide
Dreams ran away
Found places to hide

You see it all
Hear every sound
When no waking mind
In near to be found

You yawn once more
Still not asleep
Everyone else in the house
Yet to make a peep

The night will go one
Weather you sleep or not
They kept you awake
Each dammed thought

The sun starts to rise
Sleep never came
They insist to keep you tired
To your thoughts its a game.

To bright.
For my eyes.
So let the stars.
Wave their goodbyes.

Smother them.
Like a flame on a wick.
Or douce them with water.
And put them out quick.

Put out the stars.
Let the sky be pitch black.
**** the bright sun.
And don't let it come back.

The shadows.
Of the past.
Memories fleet.
Time moves to fast.

That cold winter night.
No fire for heat.
The food running low.
And long gone the meat.

In the air did hang.
The white of our breath.
To prove there was life.
In the city of Seth.

Ice clung to your nose.
And tears soon did freeze.
The air cold and dry.
Your breath but a wheeze.

Insanity drove us.
Accusations arose.
A tight situation.
This weather did pose.

Our minds half gone.
And our food even more so.
A weapon near by.
As out broke a new row.

I picked up the knife.
And stained your shadow red.
My mind all but gone.
And yours very dead.

Take me home.
And away from here.
From this saddened world.
And this pitiful fear.

Take me home.
Into the night.
That I face with love.
Instead of fright.

I don't care about stars.
Or warm glowing light.
Take me instead.
Into cold velvet night.

Without stars.
Without heat.
For the sun burns down.
And in my back it does beat.

It scorches my skin.
It singes my hair.
But the night is calm.
And the moon is fair.

The cool night air.
Brushes my skin.
The sun is setting.
It is time for night to begin.

For my family.
For my friends.
For beginnings.
For the ends.

I have to thank the people.
Who helped to pick me up.
Who stuck by my side.
Who filled up my cup.

So thank you once again.
Thank you for a voice.
One to oppose my inner own.
Thank you for a new choice.

i don't know.
where my life went.
but now i am dead.
my life was spent.

i put on my dress.
as green as envy.
my skin covering hate.
with witch my heart was heavy.

my lips.
red like lust.
i wore the seven sins that night.
thinking. **** i must.

her eyes shone.
full of greed and gluttony.
that her jewels gladly portrayed.
hidden there a mutiny.

her hair done up.
in a way.
that showed sloth.
its fashion lazy.

she walked.
every step full of pride.  
that was misplaced.
she didn't try to hide.

she let out her wrath.
and danced on satans floor.
dancing with the devil.
unable to stop her feet ****** and sore.

for one dance with the devil.
on his own dance floor.
her soul long gone.
the song forever more.

Alone
Do you hear it?
The vibrating universe
It reaches deep as I sit

Alone
Shaking so silently
As if it could shatter
Now numb, yet absentmindedly

Alone
Because it vanishes
Among company and sound
And only creeps in when I am

Alone
My heart beats while I breath
The cosmos, it shivers
Then holds steady when I'm not

Alone
It is not an audible sound
Only heard in the silence
Peaceful and constant and

Alone

Wake up, wake up.
It's a brand new day.
Get up, get up.
Let's go out and play.

Sit down, sit down.
In the damp Dewey grass.
Lay down, lay down.
And watch the clouds pass.

Look up, look up.
Into the sky.
Look there, look there.
I think the clouds might cry.

Look out, look out.
Down comes the rain.
Run fast, run fast.
From drops smaller than a grain.

We're fine, we're fine.
We made it inside.
We're dry, we're dry.
Look at the bright side.

The snaking river
Winding past trees
Making small boats
Out of tiny leafs

Its journey is long
And lonely at best
But it continues to flow
Needing no rest

Its soft burbling sound
Is calming to hear
And its pure, clean water
Draws animals near

It brings life to the land
Making it green
Causes flowers to bloom
And stones to gleam

It provides for the life
From large bears to small mice
Yet no matter how much you try
You'll never touch the same river twice

we are the shunned.
we live in shadows.
in the dark places.
on the edge of the meadows.

we watch the others.
ones excepted in the world.
the shining ones.
for whom the houses are built.

they dance and prance.
free in society.
they follow the norm.
of the world they are proprietary.

while we are the shunned.
we don't follow the norm.
we are our own people.
we won't follow the swarm.

we have gifts and talents.
that other do fear.
so they cast us out.
make us feel we don't belong here.

but this is our world to.
we may have talents and gifts.
that others don't have.
but still they use the biffs.

and our saddened faces.
are forever permanent.
and our cries float in the night air.
the shunned lament.

Some days I think.
That upon my shoulders.
Rests the world.
Like hevy boulders.

And I slowly move.
Through time and space.
My feet drag on the ground.
At my slowest pace.

Time is a slug.
And space to vast.
Always seems to crawl.
It will never move fast.

Then I saw you.
And I could stand sraight.
The world but a feather.
No more under its weight.

You took the weight.
And moved it unto yourself.
But I'll still carry half.
And keep your heart for myself.

Time is still slow.
And space is still vast.
But now that I'm happy.
I don't need to move fast.

Do you know.
What torment means.
Is it the sad song.
That darkness sings.

A mournful tune.
To witch the words are long gone.
A shallow feeling.
A depressing song.

Is it empty.
Like a black hole.
Like a deep dark trench.
That will never be full.

Is it pain.
Like a rupturing heart.
Or a poor vein.
Popped with a sharp dart.

A tightening in your chest.
Like your heart had stopped.
Does torment feel.
Like being dropped.

Can you see torment.
In the eyes of man.
Slowly burning.
Like food in a pan.

Is it blood running.
Running from your neck.
When from your dead body.
The bird does peck.

What does torment.
Mean to you.
You'll never know my meaning.
Until you've seen what I've been through.

Blue sky
Barbed wire
To climb is to bleed
But I must go higher

Fluffy clouds
Lazy sky
Wounded hands
And wishes to fly

Trust
Is paper thin
And you can't think of it
As a second skin

It takes time to build
And like a wall
Removing one piece
Can make it fall

Built up for years
And destroyed in a day
Betraying it
Is never okay

It physically hurts
When trust is shattered
Because it showed
Someone once mattered

Trust
Will remain scarred
Once wounded
Forever marred.

I don't know.
What to do.
I don't know.
Just who are you?

You walked right in.
Without even a word.
Steps so light.
As if you were a bird.

But you came in to quick.
And left open the door.
And trampled me.
Till I was one with the floor.

I don't know what to do.
All these people in my house.
I'm so small.
I look like a mouse.

They walked all over me.
So I shoved them out.
I locked the door tight.
I didn't just pout.

Then I boarded the windows.
No one would get in.
I was so unsure.
I could not grin.

So I hid all my fear.
And my sorrow and pain.
Behind a fake smile.
A fake feeling name.

Now I'm a doll.
The outside so fake.
A smile plastered on.
Covering the heartache.

I will wander
Through forests deep
Standing under moonlight
Watching shadows creep

They'll dance on the edge
Out the corner of my eye
They tug at my sleeves
As I wander by

Soon I will leave
The forests behind
And my dreams with the shadows
For others to find

In it's depths of mystery.
What does the future hold.
Long away from now.
In stories yet untold.

What we see in movies.
And on tv today.
May not be what happens.
In times still far away.

Zombies and monsters.
May forever be fake.
For the future.
Is what humans make.

We may die out.
Years from now.
Or we could travel through space.
Though we don't know how.

But the future is far.
And time long.
We don't last forever.
But time will go on.

Snap, rip
Torn and gone
A lovely tune
Turned to a sad song

Feathers of white
Plucked like a duck
Why do the kind
Run out of luck

A snap and a crack
Soon im falling through air
On wings that are broken
By life so unfair

Every harsh word
Everything that you said
I saved and remembered
Inside my head

You could hurt me before
But now that i'm cold
With a stone heart
A soul long sold

My wings are broken
I'm falling through air
I'll make this world
Just a little more fair

What can you do
I've got nothing to loose
You took the wings of an angel
Who had death as her muse

Shut up
Close your mouth
Quit your talking
Because its going south

For Christ's sake
My ears are sore
And I swear my head
Can't take anymore

******* hell
These walls are thin
The garbage you spew
Crawls on my skin

Just shut up
It's all white noise
You abuse your voice
Like children with toys

The more you spew
The value decays
The more you repeat
The less it conveys

The sky is changing overhead.
The earth is moving fast.
Time keep pushing forwards.
I keep looking to the past.

Where could yesterday have gone?
I feel it in my cheeks.
Not the kindest kiss goodbye.
The tears remain for weeks.

The stars above are staring
But do they understand
That like tears, stars can fall
Forgotten when they land?

I cannot wave goodbye
Into the silent night.
Waiting in the river
Slinks a terrible fright.

The sky above is spinning.
The stars are falling down.
The blackness is insatiable
and never makes a sound.

Yesterday is weeping
For what it once knew.
It can't see the future
So what is it to do?

Yesterday is dead
The future holds the gun
But quickly faded away
With the setting sun.

Today is all we have
And yet the tears remain.
The memory that burns
Is yesterday's bitter stain.