You have made it.
You’ve just made your self invincible.
The fact that you own this heart of mine
Rendered me vulnerable:
     The freeze of your smile,
          The death in your goodbye,
               The craze I felt I almost wanted,

So here I am,
A soul stuck in a sleepless state,
Writing poems just to forget
     What they really were about,
For longing, yet again, is disallowed
Because you got your eyes fixed
     In the opposite direction
That I can hardly see your face, your stars,
     The blaze of stars.
  
Now let me wait, at least, stay,
So that I may be able
     To understand why...
Why of all
The constellations to choose from
I chose the farthest, the one
     Most difficult to reach,

Then slowly, just maybe,
I’ll forget the glow...
     ...that you possess.*

© 2010 J.S.P.

I think they call it suicide
When you do it knowing you're going to die
But does it count
If you have already killed my insides?

believe whatever you want to believe,
but as for me, I believe that love wins.
Always.

Shed no tear for the fear.
Ingnite the fire within.
  Dig the grave to hour near,
Deep route a timeglass grin.
  Now congure your error
And so fine is the beast!
  Grant it's act of terror  
Be with your final feast.

  Away with sanity.
The will is just to live,
  For liing vanity
Has only itself to give.
  The creatures of evil
Show their faces at last.
  They'll paint at your easel
A block from long past.

  They bring no quick demise.
They'll lessen self portrait.
  Scream not of 'hows' nor 'whys'.
Let your mind rush or wait.
  Senses perceive the pain,
Play you well or  just  fair,
  The reward in this game
Is a breath of more air.

  Panicked glance behind you.
Nightmares raise their dead
  Threatening to persue
Deep within your bed.
  You know fright has prevailed.
Whispers heard loud and clear,
  To tell you that you've failed.
You've lost your soul to the fear.

You're here, trembling with fear
You made it clear
You turned your back and now you've gone astray
Nothing left to say
What's standing in your way?
You had the chance to never walk alone

But you gave it all away
When I needed you to stay
Just open up your arms I need you here
I can't do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms I need you here!

Again, lying in your bed
Nightmares is in your head
Facing all that you just threw away
At the edge again
It's coming to an end
You had the chance to never walk alone

But you gave it all away
When I needed you to stay
Just open up your arms I need you here
I cant do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms I need you
I need you, here! Here!
I need you, here! Here!

You gave it all away
I needed you to stay
Open up your arms I need you here!

I can't do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms, I need you here
But you gave it all away
When I needed you to stay
Just open up your arms I need you here
I can't do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms, I need you here!

I sit alone
In this dark cold room
Listening through the wall
Of your angry screams

I don't know why I keep doing wrong
I don't know why I can't control myself
I don't know why you always scream at me

You wonder why
I've become so numb
You wonder why
My silence is deafening
You wonder why
I'm a soulless cold monster

In my bed
I just can't seem to rest
Screaming silently
At all this violence

I don't know what I am
I don't know what I did so wrong
I don't know what to do when you scream at me again and again

You wonder why
I've become so numb
You wonder why
My silence is deafening
You wonder why
I'm a soulless cold monster

In my room
Wishing I could punch the wall
Wishing I could just runaway
From all this pain and misery

I don't know how I stopped fighting
I don't know how you keep killing me
I don't know how I got this way

You wonder why
I'm so empty
You wonder why
My silence is screaming
You wonder why
I'm this soulless cold monster

This soulless cold monster
You wonder why I'm soulless
You wonder why I'm so cold
(It's all your fault.)