Remorse in the way your older brothers taught you right from wrong when they told you to stay away from their friends and them.
Laughter in the way the moon told me jokes while she was sleeping beside you,
guilt in the way that I taught you how to drown while your were trying to teach me how to swim,
death in the way you lose people who are still alive.

Absence, the way my father was absent from my life the way a child with cancer would be absent from school.
Horror, the way she probably screams and writhes with your body, and here I am screaming and writhing with a blade again.
Empty, the way my body was on August 25, 2014.
Full, the way the bottles never were.
Dread, the last breath of desire.
Happy, the way I was on the day it rained and your mother forgot my name.
Broken, like the skull of the animal I ran over the other night.

Love, love me like I love inflicting new wounds upon myself,
tolerate the way her breath doesn't make you moan when it moves down your neck,
my breath was like a ghost.

Sadness like that first day of February.
Time change like a car wreck you can't look away from, we call it depression here.

Family.
The way blood means nothing and smiles from strangers mean everything.

I knew I matured
when I realized every situation doesn't need a reaction.
Sometimes you just have to leave people to continue to do the lame **** that they do.

sometimes its only about;
*Tranquility

I am not afraid of love.
I am afraid of being hurt beyond repair.

I am afraid of giving my all to one,
Who may not always be there.

I am afraid of losing myself
And never finding my way back.

I am afraid of falling in love--
If you aren't falling back.

How
     small
           do
               I
                 have
                      to
                        be
                          before
                               you
                                  love
                                      me?

What's been missing in my life is you...
But being me I was too afraid to swoon.
'If I fall will he catch me?' And if he doesn't where would I fall?
But if he does, my God, if he does, I could quite possibly be the happiest woman alive.
Instead of falling I ran
Into another guy's arms
His aren't as warm, his voice isn't as soft, and his word doesn't really mean anything anymore...
I could've, should've, would've done
A million other things. And if I could go back I would...
But our love is forever baby, always has been.

Always will be.

You said you were my friends,
You said that you'd tell me everything you thought about me,
You made promises to me that you couldn't keep..
It's my fault for believing you.

I believed every lie you said,
I even thought you were my bestest friend.
I loved you like a sister,
I thought you were my family.

I trusted you for the longest time,
But you've always been keeping secrets, haven't you?
You left out how much you hated me,
How much pain I caused you just by being near.

Were all your kind words and laughs... were they all fake?
Was I living a lie that I thought was right?
All I've ever done was wipe the tears from your cheeks...
But I was the one who caused them, wasn't I?

You told me ever stupid thing I've done wrong,
You yelled at me and shattered my heart,
You made me look like a fool in front of the entire class.
You laughed at me when you saw the tears in my eyes.

I learned the truth this day, this very day,
That every kind thing I've ever done was ridiculed.
That two of my best friends talked about me behind my back,
And pointed out my every flaw.

When you pointed out all my mistakes,
All the pain I never tried to cause,
You grinned and I cried.
My heart broke while yours grew stronger.

Nobody spoke up to defend me,
They just listened to your every word, believing every bit.
I can't even look myself in the mirror now,
Without my heart crumbling to dust.

All my friends that I've ever loved....
Why do they tell other people what I do, instead of coming to me?
Instead of telling me that I should fix it,
They talk behind my back... stabbing me with a ****** knife.

I've lost all control know, I can't take this pain anymore...
Why have you done this?
Was your goal, from the very beginning, aimed to break my heart?
I think, I understand now, whose fault it really is...

It's my fault for believing all my friends when they said I could trust them.
*(True story that happened about a month ago.