stains on my heart
from profanity

blasphemy or
obscene language
or actions that took place
intangibly

actions that leave me
panicky
this insanity equals
pure calamity

but isn't that
formally called
bedlamity?

I look up
From the bottom of the ocean
For I sunk a long,
Long time ago.
I see the sparkling surface.
I can almost feel the warmth of the sun
Creating those magnificent
Waves of light above me.
Almost.
Every time I kick off
From the sandy, dark bottom
I simply sink back again.
I'm tied to the seaweed;
Tangled helplessly.
So I struggle helplessly.

You shouldn't dive this
Deep.
For you will sink, too.
It would be nice to have
A bit of your company,
But you still deserve to be
Free.
So it's okay.
I'll watch you float
In the waves above me.
I'll watch you be happy.
I'll watch you soon swim
Back to the bright, crowded shore.
I'll stay here and hope.
But I can't help but wonder-

What is a prisoner supposed to hope for?

day by day
i lose myself more
to the other half of me
beckoning at the door

every day i step over
the threshold of my life
into curiosity
beyond fright

sadness makes us curious
fright makes us careful
the night makes us see
the different people we cannot be

forty days and forty nights of rain
that's what happened in the Bible days
but its been months of pain
how many more
before
the sun breaks through the haze?

i am gone
i am gone
i am gone
i am gone

it had been too dark
in the middle of the night

i was choking with fright

surely we can
reward
the streetlight

shaking hands
clutch them tight
don't let your eyes
show the fright

stand still
don't be seen
clench your jaw
contain the screams

flickering eyes
shallow breaths
try to blend in
look like the rest

i give up
i'm letting it out
don't run away
listen to my shouts

i'm telling the truth
the world is my jail
there's no time to live
only to fail

so i'm done trying
to walk this rope
until the world figures out
there's no hope