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 Feb 2015 s
Alexis
Why does it hurt so much
Like a thousand peices falling off my heart
My tears shatter the world
While I hide in my own little corner
My walls start to crumble
The secrets explore the darkest part of life
no longer can I feel them  
I try to run and run but
Before I could comprehend
My life starts to fade
As I lie on the ground taking my last breath
I can see the one I've been
looking for
Death
He isn't that kind. He won't release me
Because even for Death I am
Too empty and cracked  from inside out
Sorry that I am not that good at writing poetry especially in the more traditional form. I have my own way.
 Feb 2015 s
Makenzie Marie
I'm sorry
You're beautiful
And you don't see it.
And I'm sorry
That nobody treats you the greatest.
I'm sorry
That it hurts
No matter how hard you try.
And I'm sorry that I can't be there by your side.
I'm sorry that my comfort
Comes seperated by hundreds of miles
And I'm sorry that with all the effort
We can all still see through the smiles.
I'm sorry that it's hard,
Pushing yourself all alone.
I'm sorry that you're struggling
And that it feels like you're on your own.

I'm sorry that it's difficult,
Living.
I'm sorry I could never be there
To pull the blade
or the bottle
out of your hands.
And I'm sorry
that you felt like
dancing
with Death
was your only real chance
at happiness,
       or your only safety,
       or your final release....
And I'm sorry that I wasn't okay with it.
Or Im sorry if I ******* up your life
       (or your death).
But I wasn't about to just let you end it.
I'm not sorry that I spent
The end of my year
Finding someone to find you.
Getting them to help you.
And I'm not sorry if it means you made it to this year.

I'm not sorry
Especially if
this finally shows you
that someone actually cares.
And I don't care
if I value your life more than you.
I've been there.
I'm not sorry if you feel betrayed
If it means you get to see another day.

I'm sorry if I ruined your secret
And I'm sorry if they pumped your stomach or something and I'm sorry if that ****** a lot.
But I'm not sorry if it means right now you're conscious.
I'm not sorry if you get to watch the sun rise and set again.

And I'm not sorry.
If all of this
means that you live
it was more than worth it.
For MBD
Stay alive.
 Feb 2015 s
Jinxx
Red Lines
 Feb 2015 s
Jinxx
These red lines cover my paper skin
____________________
­Like a pen dragged
___________________
­Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­These red lines slice through my paper skin
___________________
­My pen breaks
___________________
­Red bleeds
__________________­
Covering the page
____________________
­Every night
___________________
­Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­And Over......
________________­__
 Feb 2015 s
Makenzie Marie
Ana is in my brain again
and I'm sorry
to say I'm giving in.
Mia is whispering to me
so sweetly;
Fueling my dreams
to just be skinny.
And today I don't feel strong enough
to decide that I am enough.
Because I feel like too much.
     There's too much of me,
     And I am not enough,
      because I'm not skinny.
Mia is in my head again
allowing me to guiltily binge;
Reminding me
I can purge just as easily.
Urging me, "better hurry."
Run the water
hide the sound....
I feel pretty lost,
And this is what I've found
to cope
with the constant nagging
inside of me.
Ana is in my thoughts today
Reminding me how much I've gained.
And all I've lost- previously.
Encouraging me,
Dissapointedly,
To get down to 115.
I know that I am losing my mind
But maybe along with that,
I'll lose a few pounds.
 Feb 2015 s
nia fox
Ribs
 Feb 2015 s
nia fox
she looks in the mirror
trails a finger down her skin
doesn't feel her bones
ashamed of the skin that she's in
she takes a bite of the bread
succumbing to the devil
but she pours the ipecac down her throat
Mia and Ana, rolling in their revel
crying into her pillow
because she's so fat
everyone else is prettier
she's not even worth looking at
stops eating for a month
not satisfied with her body
death's knocking on her door
but hey, she's no longer stocky!
boys have been staring her down
lust filling their eyes
it's sad to see that no one else sees
this detrimental disguise
the blood trickles down her forearm
who could be more proud?
but inside she's screaming for help
screaming for help, real loud
she never got a chance to say goodbye
what a bitter taste
but she got what she wanted
and all she wanted was a dainty waist
 Feb 2015 s
Graced Lightning
She’ll be lovely. You’ll be able to count the spaces in between her ribs. She’ll have thin skin and it’ll be so easy to drive her crazy with just a single touch. It’ll be easy to make your mark on her, too. She’ll bruise easy and love it. She’ll think it’s beautiful.

2. She won’t ever be expensive on dates because all she’ll order is a salad. You’ll never have to worry about her ordering an expensive steak. You might have to worry about emergency room bills when she passes out, but she’ll never ask for anything else. All she’ll want is ***** and sleeping pills.

3. She will always put you first. Your needs always come before hers because she was raised “God first, others second, I am third”. She’ll make you hot chocolate and drive to your house at 3 AM with pizza she won’t eat, even though she’s dead tired and all she wants is a good night’s rest. You can count on her to be there.

4. She will tell you that you are perfect. She’ll believe it, too. Everyone around her seems to be perfect and she’s drowning under the weight of mediocrity but it’s ok as long as you know how perfect you are.

5. She’ll always have scissors and pencil sharpeners on hand. The knives in her kitchen are always sharpened to perfection and if you forget your razor at home, it’s ok. She has extras in her closet.

6. She’ll ******* anytime you want. As long as you don’t look at her while she’s getting undressed, she’ll love you until she can’t breathe anymore. She’ll smile as you kiss her thighs because you’re the only one that makes her feel beautiful.

7. Date a girl who hates herself because she’ll love you.
 Feb 2015 s
Makenzie Marie
Thre strikes
down the middle of my thigh
running red as I wonder why
and how this has happened to me
Why the skies
mirror my eyes:
dark, and clouded,
playing shy.
Three strikes
I'm out
(that's the rule of the game)
But I no longer really want to play,
anyway.
 Feb 2015 s
Makenzie Marie
I picked up a blade again today
Needless to say I am not okay.
I'll be better "some day"

But I guess
I can decide to say
I will be better today.

Just because I ***** up
doesn't make me a ***** up.
You are defined by your actions.
But I can decide:
to be defined
by what's left in my stride
before I trip and stumble and fall,
or by what's ahead,
despite it all.

I'll choose the latter
and I'll move on...
I will be strong.

Because I am not as weak
as I seem to think
I am strong
and my God
will hold me in his mighty arm.

I picked up a blade again today.
But I can honestly say
**I am going to be okay.
 Feb 2015 s
spacequeen
She
 Feb 2015 s
spacequeen
She
She dances alone because that’s what she’s used to.
But she doesn’t care.

Her eyes hold dreams she’s never told anyone.

And when the sides of her mouth curl…
A smile she’s kept hidden for so long starts to shine.

She keeps her thoughts to herself.
Bottled up and tossed in the endless sea that she calls her mind.

Sometimes she opens one.
And from there she rediscovers inspiration.

She holds onto photographs and ticket stubs.
Anything that means something to her.

She complains when she forgets to drink her hot tea.
But will still drink it anyway.

When the sun sets, she wakens.
She enjoys the silence of the night.

She’ll trust you with secrets.
She’ll trust you completely.

Until you give her a reason not to.
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