i. when you're no longer excited to see them and the butterflies don't make an appearance, instead you feel empty

ii. when their flaws are no longer perfect, they're just that; flaws 

iii. when a future with them is no longer in your plans, it's just a silly thought you laugh at, something long gone

iv. when you no longer dream of them, but they might creep into your nightmares

v. when the space with them no longer feels comfortable, it feels like secrets are hiding, waiting to fall out

s.s

I finally figured it out
How to get up there pre-death.
I crawled my way up to you
Without leaving my own bed.

I tried to break you out
But they wouldn't let you leave.
I tried to break you out
To bring you home with me.

I got kicked out of heaven
No they won't let me back.
They said if I ever tried again
To prepare myself for attack.

I'll go back everyday
If I had the slightest chance.
I would play their little games
And I would dance their little dance.

You may call me selfish
Cause I know that you're safe.
But you took apart of me
That I can never replace.

I tried to break you out
But you didn't want to leave.
I tried to break you out
But you made a home there without me.

Some people look for thunderstorms
Some people for sunshine
No matter what you're looking for
Seek and ye shall find

Some people look for aliens
Some people look for God
And even through the deepest storm
Lightning finds its rod

When you're a centrist
Everyone agrees
Cause everybody thinks you're wrong

When you're a centrist
Everyone agrees
Cause they all say you don't belong

But if you talk to one person at a time
And bring them just a little toward the middle
One step at a time
Before they know it they're on your side

Take your left hand
Reach as far as you can
But don't give up your ground

Take your right hand
Reach out to the right side
Don't let them pull you around

And then connect two hands at a time
Make a chain that snakes its way across the middle
One link at a time
Before they know it they're all entwined

There is so much
Space here in the middle
All of you can stand with me

There is so much
We can do together
Without this dichotomy

It happens one day at a time
Shifting just a little toward the middle
After enough time
There aren't that many sitting on the sides

Why not get up and move around
And mingle just a little in the middle?
One big fabulous party, we'll be
Dancing in the aisle

Im afraid to kiss you
Because of the fear of being left breathless
Gasping for air
The theif you are stealing life from my lungs

I'm afraid to leave you
Because without you near I'd surely fall apart
Picking up the pieces
The craftsman you are, putting me back together

I'm afraid to be loved by you
Because of the unrealistic, idealistic picture you paint of me
Every brush stroke
The artist that paints in dissappointment of who I really am

I'm afraid to trust you
Because of the words you whisper late at night
I love you more
The liar that insists in the false reality in which you could ever love me more

If I went to a professional they'd probably say it started when I was younger
Which begs the question why it didn't affect my older brother

Maybe it's just the way my brain is wired
I'm just so ******* sick and tired
Of being so **** sick and tired
Why am I always so ******* tired?

I just go through the motions
All the days just blend together
The only thing keeping me going
Is the hopes that this won't last forever

I can say that I care about a few things
But it'd be only to myself that I feed lies
There's a lot I need to get off my chest
But it's hard when I have to make it rhyme

I don't consider myself a poet
More of an alocoholic with a pen
I get myself into a drunken haze
And spill all the thoughts in my head

You're probably wondering where this is going
And I can't say that I have the answer
I kind of just type away
Until I start to feel a little better.