She will sit at 1am
Thinking of what she did wrong
And draw absurd conclusions that
She just wasn’t good enough for you

She will
Toss and turn at 2am
Asking herself why you
Let her go so easily

She will cry at 3am
Thinking of how you
Let her fall
Knowing well
You never intended
Of catching her

She will want to
Hate you at 4am
But instead find herself
Scrolling through
Your pictures

She will want you
To hold her tight at 5am
And tell her you miss her
Whilst you kiss her forehead so gently

She will catch herself at 6am
Sleeping at the thought of you
Telling her you love her
And how you never want
To let go

She will wake up at 7am
To a wet pillow
Because you let her sleep
Wondering if you ever cared
About her the way you claimed you did

She will start her day
Trying to find a piece of you
In the men she offers herself to
Only to find disappointment waiting for her

She will drown her wild thoughts with drugs
Just to numb the pain
She will call, cry and scream out your name
With a heavy heart;
That is yearning to be with you..

Sometimes he will be unkind to you;
Say painful words
Make a fool out of you
Promise you heaven on earth

And when you think you have just had enough

He will come with pretty flowers
And kiss your beautiful lips
The moment will taste of
All the sweet things you have
Been longing for.
Sometimes he will put his hands on you
Say painful words
Make a fool out of you

And when you think you just had enough

He will buy you a pretty dress
And take you out on dinner.
The moment will be so bliss that
You will not want it to end

But he will treat you like a pretty flower today
And tomorrow; he will forget to water you.

He came in looking like prince charming
Sold me dreams
Made me feel young again

Oh mama
He touched me

I could hear him breathe so heavily
I could feel his weight suffocating me
His filthy hands were on my body
And
When he was done, he chuckled
Gave a satisfied look
I turned away
Face wet with tears
A scream of cry came out
Instantly, he gave me
A daring look
And told me to hush little one
Fore he did me a favor

Oh mama
He hurt me so bad

Disgusted with myself
Walking around
And every man looks like him
Filled with anger
Burning desire for revenge
But instead
I was told to
Hush little one and to
Never speak of it ever again.

I remember when I was younger
I thought I had love figured all out
I would tell myself that if I just
Put my heart, mind, body and soul
Love would do the same
And all would be sweet as candy.

I lost myself.

I tried to change
Tried to be prettier
Tried to be smarter
Tried to be more smooth on the edges
All because I wanted to be enough for love
Even when I did all of that
Love wasn't satisfied.

I fell in love with;
Your smile that curves like moon
Your smooth tanned skin
Your soft lips
The smell of your cologne
The touch of your gentle bare hands
But most importantly,
How your eyes could make me
Fall in love with you
All over again.