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nina Jun 2017
dilated pupils
so far the eye turns black
darkness triumphs
& the demons are out to play
twisted, wicked smile
she's laughing
crooked, backward
crawling, digging
making home
inside the crevices of my brain
i'm laughing
skeleton fingers
curled around my rib cages
picking apart my insides
a heart?
oh, you don't need this my dear...
the bones in my spine
crick, crack, break
i cannot bend back any further
she's smiling
always so happy to take over
a prisoner to my own body
living inside my head
as i watch through
the barred windows they call my eyes
i am hypnotized by her
she's evil
yet somehow so beautiful
as she rips hearts away
& swallows souls whole
playing with the leftover blood
leaving behind nothing but ash,
a kiss,
& a smirk
all i do is watch
all i do is smile
as she destroys me
all i do is wait
until she's done
& i awake from the evil
haunting my mind
but over the years
my brain has decayed
& i isolate myself
so she's become bored.
with nothing left to play with,
she's starting to pack her things
to find a home with better toys
but i'll always be fascinated
by her evil ways
nina Jun 2017
some days,
i can be very brave.
some days,
i can be a coward.
today,
i am a coward.
today,
i walked away.
i walked so far
that i left my job behind.
today,
i was a coward.
time to look for a new job... oops...
nina Jun 2017
i don't want to go to sleep
because i don't want to sleep without
feeling your body curled around me.
i don't want to go to sleep
because i don't want to sleep without
waking up next to your sleepy face.
but i have to for now
so i will.
but until i see you
i'm giggling & smiling at our memories
& dreaming of your smile.
nina May 2017
my head is pounding
my brain is banging against
the walls of my skull
my eyes are pushing
like they're trying to escape
my eye sockets
my throat feels tight
like something is stuck
i just want to sleep
but instead i lay here
trying not to cry in pain
trying to sleep
trying
nina May 2017
what good is there in worrying?
it won't change the future
or take any pain away
if something bad happens.
it won't make you feel better
to be able to say
"i knew this would happen"
what good is there in worrying?
it doesn't do anything.
except take away the happiness
that you could be enjoying
*right now.
{a short blurb related to my last poem.}
nina May 2017
i have this silly little habit.
this habit of thinking.
overthinking, worrying, fearing.
but you make me happy.
you make me feel safe.
i trust you fully.
i love you completely.
& i don't want to overthink
or worry
or be fearful.
i just want this.
you.
us.
so i'll ignore the voice screaming in my head
saying it must be too good to be true
& listen to my heart whispering
"it's okay to be happy."
because the things it screams about
will only come true
if i let it.
{you are already changing me into a better person, by doing absolutely nothing but loving me as i am. how amazing is that?}
nina May 2017
i don't know what's going on in my head.
the demons broke free from the prison in my mind.
why?
because i was happy for a moment?
or have i forgotten something?
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