they aren't worth your tears,
your precious time,
your perfect body,
your unconditional love,
your happy smile,
your sleepy face or sleepy voice,
your late night thoughts,
your weird laugh,
or how in love you are with the rain
and that one band, or
how your eyes glow when you sing
or that one shirt you wear way too much,
or how your eyes sparkle when you stare into space

you deserve the world,
my friend

I might miss you—
Every hole in your jeans
And flyaway hair;
I might have saved that crooked smile,
Kept it close,
Carried it with me to the bus stop
And the bakery that makes my favorite egg sandwiches.
Maybe I counted every stutter, every heavy blink of your eyes as you fell asleep.

I might have stared your demons in the eye,
Kept them away during the night
(I've never been scared of the dark).
I could have kissed the scars on your hands,
The bruises on your knees.
It's possible you meant more to me
Than the autumn leaves
And the stars that stay frozen in place outside my window.

Maybe you knew me,
My bright lipstick and lack of self control,
The pale birthmark on my neck;
You might have memorized every curve of my lips,
Pensive sighs,
As I let you see the fear behind my wide blue eyes.

Maybe you filled the cracks I'd never admit I had
(It hurts just to say it now),
Found the fragile pieces and wove them into a blanket to keep me warm.
It's possible you saw the lies I carry,
The spiders with their gnashing teeth and blood-red eyes,
And stood by me all the same.
Maybe you called me, suddenly, on your way to work,
Surprised to find yourself wanting me, though we'd just left each other.

We might have been in love,
But those three words burned in our throats,
We could only choke out ashes, not even a spark.
Now every trace of fingertips across our hearts only brings up dust,
Settled deep in chambers and arteries for heaven knows how long,
Made from the memory of my lipstick, the holes in your jeans,
And everything we might have had,
If only we'd allowed ourselves to recognize it.

College is like being a bird
You jump out of the nest
You have two choices
You either fly
Or you die.

I said I never liked commitment , I've said it half my life .

When you first met me I made it clear I was bitter and would only use you for the night..

You took me on broken and bruised and picked me up piece by piece .

I told you you would cut yourself I will most defiantly leave.

You looked at me and said it was okay because you needed new scars.

You picked me up bit by bit , cut yourself on the shattered parts.

Told me you loved me every day and every night.

You never really knew if I heard you so you made sure to say it twice.

Commitment was never for me you would always here me say.

But you never quite understood how I could my ink my skin but not let you stay.

Why did you choose me
to fake love?
Is it because you can smell my vulnerability?
My hope and innocence?
Or is it my body and ignorance?

In three years, the words have never left your mouth
never grazed your lips
but by the way you touch my hair,
look me in the eye
and with your manly hands
gently hold my hips
I know your actions are speaking louder than the words
you will never say
Oh I know, it is hard to admit to yourself that you feel this way

The sorrow I feel waking up next to you
knowing you're not mine
that you go out
looking for others to woo
Words cannot describe the pain it puts me through.
And yet, I love you.
What's even worse, is that you know I do.