why all these secrets, so deceiving
picking at my weakness what was the reason
I am heated, I've been burned
I thought with you the leaf would turn
but I guess it is still not my turn
after all these trauma a win I thought I earned
weeping into my diary, crying out words
but none can encapsulate this heartache
my heart breaks at the thought of watching you stray
watching you undermine me, watching you defy me
the road ahead is hard, even harder with these extra scars
I wish I got out unscathed, now I must bathe in this defeat

making beats, making art
losing you was just the start
to my rise, oh I thank divine
I would've kept these feelings inside a year ago
now you will hear my words on the radio
I do not care anymore, the rain cannot ruin me like before
it nourishes me and my creations, empress with no limitations
I am so happy to be me, so happy to be free
no longer tending to the broken birds
rather focusing on my own concerns

we were body to body
my head on your chest was my favourite hobby
until it went cold like hockey
how can something so intimate turn into just another thing?
another place, another time
another day I write my feelings inside
the colourful pages of my diary
wake up after dreaming of you with anxiety
my passion is fiery but the coals are growing cold
your hands I cannot even imagine anymore
your touch cannot activate me anymore
we cannot restore what we had before
sure we were body to body
and my head on your chest was my favourite hobby
but I deserve more, I cannot settle
we were golden but now there's rust in the metal

fighting my demons
rewriting the script, changing the meaning
from a sad sad story to one filled with glory
but it's hard when every day a new thing screams my name
screaming for me to do this and that
I am put into these positions with conditions that
taint a good time, taint a pure mind
told I could find myself in the good guys
but they lied, they always do
Since Adam and Eve, I should have known
humanity is plagued with apathy down to the bone
Rather steal and stack then give a meal, clothes to an exposed back
walking down an abandoned path

I hate u
at least I think I do
memories of your flaws I say goodbye to
our relationship was a war, filled with love bombing, high walls, and gore
our relationship was a chore, never effortless always depressing when
I remember your rejection better than anything
when you dropped my hand, the way you shifted sands
around different people, I really believed you
but our love met the grim reaper
you kept yourself like a secret and I was a thrill-seeker
you were scared, I was fearless
I held you dear, you were tearless
so I hate u
at least I think I do
memories of your flaws I am haunted by
memories of all the times, I wished for, I deserved more
I outpoured just to no remorse
you were always ready to drop me to protect you
you were always ready to knock me to suggest you
were little Mr. Perfect and that this was worth it
but you weren't worth these hands, these tears, my heart
you weren't worth it from the ending, middle, or start
it is reflected in my art
that I hate u