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Zelda Nov 2024
I miss you is a pointless exercise
a murmur in the Sahara,
swallowed by endless sands

I can't carve myself into something you'd miss.

I love you is a sandstorm—
turbulent, scorching,
a fury that never seems to settle

I have no idea how to be something you'd love.

And I don't think I want to try
anymore.

I don't want to bend and break
under the weight of
your
sandstorm
Originally June 2022
Zelda Nov 2024
I think he was right
When I said I wanted to stand on the roof,  
he said he'd push me off.  
Then he smiled.  
I guess that’s funny.  
What do I know?  

Does that translate to "**** myself?"

It’s been years.  
I should be over it.  
But I still run from anyone  
who tries to get close.  
It’s been years,  
and I genuinely hope  
he’s happy with her.  

I just wish I understood why—  
he hated me so much,  
when I gave my all,
trying my best  
amidst the chaos.  

It was all my fault

I just wish I understood why—
Did he have to toy with me
when I expressed my fear of falling?
Why couldn’t I walk away

Maybe I was just that desperate
for connection
How utterly pathetic

It’s been years.  
Why am I still trash,  
causing problems—  
everywhere I go?  

And I don’t know.  
From time to time,  
That moment haunts me
Is that why I fear the heights?  
Or have I always feared the fall?  

I know  
I’ve earned the pain.  
It's all my fault
Maybe one day,  
I’ll learn not to fear the heights anymore
and perhaps then,  
I’ll be able to fall...

Well, you know...
We’ll see.  

Maybe I'll smile
Zelda Nov 2024
All I wanted this year
was a little bit of fun
All I've gotten is pain
I don't know what that means
Zelda Nov 2024
Agnostic
wandering temples,  
wondering how the stone still stands—  
cracked and worn,  
weathered by storms,  
by wars,  
by careless hands that pass through.

It’s like a labyrinth you can’t  
exist in—  
feel the hedges,  
understand the spirits,  
quiet the noises,  
balance the highs and lows.

The soul—what is it?  
A natural remedy is still just a remedy.  

A waste of time.  
We both know it—  
it’s not meant to be.

Pragmatic
never believed in happily ever after;  
you did the math—  
and it ends with a soft sound,  
the closing of the temple door,  
a coin flip
We hit the ground.

If I had a nickel for every  
“Meeting you was destiny,”
oh, but was it?  
If I had a nickel for every  
“You deserve to be happy,”
oh, but do I?

We’re two sides of the same coin,  
a dream, a folktale,  
a close call.  
We both know it—  
it’s not meant to be
We hit the ground.

Skeptic
All the sharp turns,  
all the downhill spirals,  
all the A.M. conversations—  
you tell me,  
"We'll get through it"

You held me with your voice,
But the edge cuts

Oh, the way you swore
“We’ll get it right this time.”

I’d rather  
mix ***** with water,  
enough to turn my blood to wine—  
Let's just not debate our religion  
in temples.

There is no solace
When we're agnostic, pragmatic, skeptics

We both know it—  
just another close call,  
wasn’t meant to be.

I only wanted to know your love,  
not wander through temples.
Zelda Nov 2024
You know
I’m still afraid of crowded places—  
My steps,  
Echoes,  
On the staircase,  
Past all those faces,  
But I couldn’t find yours.  

Bunny rabbits,  
I name after you,  
Visit in the summer.  

I should've found you,  

I dreamt of you again,
Sitting by the window,  
Reading newspapers, drinking coffee.  
My red dress, my broken heart,  
The end of a moment—  
Sunny skies, as bright as your eyes.  
I miss your laughter on the phone.  

You know,
I’m still scared of needles,  
But I loved your tattoos and piercings—  

It's a heavy heart,  
Hard to carry,  
Hard to bear these days.  

You baked bread inside of war,  
And somehow, it always tasted like home.  

Your drawings, my office—
Sunflowers and sunshine,  
As if secrets were shared with honeybees,  
Revealing:
How to grow in the dark,  
How to find better days.  

The card you made,  
Ripped to pieces, taped back together—  
All that’s left are shades of gray.  

When the wind rises,  
Do dandelions carry the soul?  

In February—  
When I sit and whisper affections  
To graves,  
I watch them grow.  

Someday,  
When the wind rises,  
Will dandelions carry my soul to you?
Dedicated to lost loved ones
Zelda Nov 2024
My coffee is cold,  
But not the good kind—  
The bitter kind.  
I don’t want to warm it up.  
You said you’d make a fresh ***,  
But you left before I woke.

I could wait in the kitchen,  
But I can’t read your mind anymore.  
I can’t make you laugh anymore.  
I don’t make your coffee anymore.

You said "one and only,"  
But all it became was lonely.

Don't you notice the clouds  
Drifting by?  
Or has your coffee gone cold,  
Like mine?

I’ll finish mine  
And head out too,  
Humming:  
"Clouds in my coffee, and  
...You're so vain..."
Inspired by:
You're So Vain by Carly Simon
Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega
Relationships
Life
Changes
Zelda Nov 2024
You got this way about you
I can't figure out
All that I said remains true:
I want to see where life takes you


Your gentle hands, unspoken brush strokes—
Why mask your portrait in shades of gray?
Give yourself the same grace


Why is your worth a foreign concept?
You're the epitome of the green and gold


What can I do?
Certainly can't argue—
Just accept a—


simple truth:
you're the
green and gold inside the gray
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