I'd like to say the blue sky is what will load
I wave hello to the thought of you following
me down this long yellow and tattered brick road
a different path sprouts up and I can hear the calling
"Everything you think is a lie in disguise"
A low voice cackles, a shadow face emerges, time slows
"Use your eyes to realize real lies"
Dread is a comfort wrapped around my skin when the wind blows

I feel like death is what is inside a black hole
not only literally, I look around the luminous room,
the walls fall down, all that I can see is green bubbly mold
I'll try to sweep boulders, and shimmy over with the broom
Before the shadow disappears, 100 years have made me old
The walls are back, but nothing holds the fume

It accompanies my conscious self
fumes relax the soul, and but the Subconscious to sleep
I'll box up the memories and store them on the shelf
From the beach to this **** town they run my emotions to deep
sometimes your mind has to die to heal yourself
lovers cross at the wrong point in time, a sea of life is why I weep
******* emotions give me the ******* blues

I wonder if sociopaths need the laughing gas
because to continue on my heart has become blue

It's a mess you can't clean
It's behind the cracked mask
the face of a fiend
To clean is your only task
but everything falls apart at the seams

I sit here depressed at 2 AM
and I can't help but wonder where the time went
when did I go wrong and fall lose off track
of my life, it causes fluttering heart attacks
I feel solitary may bring solidarity
I yearn to progress personally to singularity

But I'm stuck in a rut and mud is taking over
The Earth covers me with blankets, pulls me closer,
A warm hug isn't what I want but what I needed
From all these thoughts my brain is too heated
and I'm scared of what's to come
my friends are gone, if I ever had one

I enter and leave this world by myself
my life just one page in the dustiest book on the shelf
It scares me that I won't be remembered
my words service to see my image rendered
in minds and hearts of those I have touched
And with you the touch was too much

I lay my hand upon your heart
and it burned in, I can see the mark
I'm not a bad person, but who am I?
I take my body and throw it up to the sky
A scar is what I left on you
I can't heal it, not even with superglue

but you will live on, and so will I
and the only thing for us to do is try
march your feet in the onward direction
and at the end we meet our reflection

Perhaps this is exactly what I need
Cause for awhile all I have done is bleed

She’s as small, yet beautiful

As the budding spring leaves

She’s as radient and strong

As a summer day

She’s as colorful and calm

As the leaves falling off the autumn trees

Her hairs as white, and her mood as soft

As a snowflake falling on the ground

She's Born budding

And She Dies Soft

If no one hears me
Do Taoists know the real truth?
Talking will not help

Please I beg you,
to end my life,
Squash me with a shoe,
Grab the hunting knife,

I haven't lived long, I know that now,
But ahead I see, infinite ways for my life to flow,
It's all just a stones throw from my sacred vow,
The world is unbalanced, her sobs and her woes

Guide us all to the future, with the past still fresh
her whispers of sorrow are blocked from all view
If we cannot change she will *******, refresh,
and a new species like Dinos, homos, next in queue

**** sapiens burning the bones,
of dinosaurs, once feared and renowned,
we rely on their power, the system groans,
when it disappears, the masses will groan,

A collective groan upwards of seven billion,
lives in the sand, in the grand scheme so bland,
they moan a tune of immeasurable trillions,
that rest within this vicious land,

And it all flows from positive to negative,
and it all seems so insensitive,
Or perhaps a cowards views are Introspective,
But a retrospective mindset requires sedative,

Collector that is why I have this sickening plea
Think what you wish, I am only me

Maybe if I move to mars,
I will find what I am looking for,
No loud noises, and no cars,
Your smile, three inches from the door,

Restless running through my mind
I have an insane thirst for sane thoughts
The hidden demons will shine,
Call the doctor, I'm in need of shots,

I've been fighting for so long,
uphill battles pave the way to light
Masks lie, what they say is wrong,
on the way I always have to fight

Loudly Siren sings her song
She whispers I don't belong

Waiting for a phone call I tap my foot to the drum
of one thousand humming birds
Marijuana is needed but I think I have some,
smoke a joint, just feelin' like a ****

I need to run, escape, that's how I will heal,
but I find myself binded in place, stuck,
So I bow and just keep spinnin' the wheel
But one of these days I won't give a ****

I'll pack my bags, spread my wings and fly
I'll work up courage and leave you behind
I know I'm an *******, but I''ll try and leave with a friendly goodbye
If I keep thinking I'm gonna lose my god ****** mind

There's two wolfs that claw at my ventricles, my veins, even testicles
they fight for every part of me, and are made from each other
A pitless void, I just seek fun, adventure and thrills,
Ying and Yang, they're me, but they're both brothers

I open my eyes and I lay exactly where I would expect
my mind is calm but nothing crosses the river
my bedroom looks the same as it has
but there is a green hue, and the sky outside is purple
I wish to investigate, but my feet won't cooperate
Led blocks carry me to the window and icicles draw back curtains
the royal colors shine over the town
like a wounded animal crawling into a cave to die

On my desk is a mass
frozen fingers set it atop my head
and only wondrous noises pierce my ears
but there is no sound for them to recieve
Crawling outside, everyone is still
Their masks unmoved, they wait for eternity

and I believe this is a dream but how to know?
its not like I can step outside the outside
but whats behind that?
I stare into the black hole, nothing shows through
and I have finally found god
but before I rejoice, the masks stare at me
still, but moving in calamity it all starts to ring true
and then I see
and use my eyes to realize real lies

"Once again I can visit you old friend.
What may I ask today, no more waiting, no delay.
My hands tremble as I hold this book.
Waiting for you, I need to look.
My destiny is a sham in the eye's of reality.
Now talk, before I bring myself to tragedy"

"What is it you need to know?
Time is not on my side, and like winds and birds I'll glide.
Be wary, a question to me is a dangerous game
The things I could say would drive you insane
Be careful, don't break stride, it will break if you tell lies,
And I will be gone, now that's a shanty strategy"

"You have the information I want, we both know
As you've been here before, I'm not daft
Now when I ask I need you to speak nice and slow
For I am young, still novice in craft
There's a billion ways I could ask this sort of thing
All I want to know is what the future will bring."

"There is no way to say this easy to someone as dear as you.
If you cannot change your ways much of your life is through
There are thrills in the years to come, and obstacles you must overcome
New faces to meet and new things that won't be undone
But the one thing you need to understand about life
All your days, from flowers to knife, you must not live in strife"

'That tells me nothing, my woes are stirred
my anger flashing, my memories a blur
I will fight you in years to come
and we will see what can't be undone
Like a bird I will fly far on
and then I'll smile when you're gone"

"Oh child you know nothing of life,
I have seen it all that you may live,
You're a fly, and I take this light,
you bide my time, my journey is long,
Now goodbye, a glimpse of the past,
You've taught me life goes too fast"

Cycles spin and twist about,
but nothing drowns out the awful shout,
without God's help all that's left is just doubt,
lingers ahead, only to sprout,
drown the cycles, empty the spout,
You know that you're dead, there isn't any way out
;

If what we write are just rambles,
why do these letters mean so much?
The way a child is mesmerized by hanging leaves
reminds me of the simplicity
of putting an arm around each other.

If I worry enough,
will my woes fade into twilight?
glass shatters as the words leave my lips
trembling I lay down one last time
and accept the fate of my actions

If I run fast can I escape
from a past that I wish would kiss my ***?
I'm a different person than that time,
and for each subsequent revelation,
I learn my life is but a line

As a writer we all understand that need,
the urge inside you yearning to escape through
the written word
the word you inscribe with your thoughts
onto the paper of a phoenix, born anew
as each failed sentence crumbles it
to ash

There's a magnificence in your face
and a gentle underside that leans me inward
your cute curved lips tremble as I slide
my hand up your skirt

There's a flush of the cosmos on your face,
and the cosmos are vast
like our minds, the cosmos bends
to the will of energy

For everything that is final
there was a begininng so we must ask
where have we been?
the ramblings of madmen conduct
our code and ethics
but those still mad run among the streets
unnoticed, like a raven.

And as I think of the woes of the mother,
her blue marble is but a tear in the eye,
of a life infinitely larger
the will is not there
you must understand its not in my hands

I am trapped inside
and I will shut the windows tonight
But still as the rain hits the roof
I feel myself sliding,
slipping,
falling.

Write a poem,
A lonely whisper,
It grows louder with each thought
It breathes slow with care,
It lives there.

write a word,
expression of you,
It is yourself, reflection,
just like a candle,
It stands there

Write a rhyme,
beautiful, sublime,
it will reach past your voice,
A monster is born,
A nightmare

Candles lit, I sit in a familiar place.
She walks slow, step by step, with a strong dash of grace.
The lights are off through the room, dimly lit faces.
Not my family, just thoughts in trance for many days.

One hundred billion stars light the cake.

All I see is gray
it's black and white on the TV
Finally, I'm mad
more gray food for me, give me pills,
No water, just gray

Fallacies contrast
It's a gray sky, no one knows why,
Whine if you must friend,
In a moment, everything ends,
Slowly pull the blinds,

If you shrink, look meek,
don't worry about me, just go,
If needed, run slow
They are candy before us my friend,
Fallacies, two for you, and one for me

I hear echos but I can't see,
I reach out and nothing is before me,
Not friend, Nor nary a person
Not a tree, nor wildlife is is here to meet,
No stars, No sky, No hello's and no goodbye's,

Oh dear god I think I can see,
But in a non-existent silence I feel
Nothing is there, the end of the deal,
Nothing is aware, Then nothing can be real,
Nothing makes space and time, reality.

And you and I can question why,
but minds together cannot even weather
The rocks buried in our minds,
It won't align but I can tug on the tether,
Now I only have everything to find.

It's called common sense
You're supposed to know,
and not be on the fence,
when the wind blows...

... you're gonna be whisked away
you should wear a weighted vest
You're disappearing, will be gone by may
If the gun shoots, do your best

Your senses fade to black
Sight, touch, only within an earshot
Your poker face has a crack
keep your mind taught.

There's a million ways this could go
but with your common sense you're supposed to know
When you try to speak not even a squeak escapes your lips
your life is one among many small blips.

Anyone ever think
About mother Earth and her health?
All the atrocities
Abhorred pollution: neglect

If we're so smart
why is poverty alive?
But us fat americans
can't live without that shopping cart

We belong to Earth
Not the other way around
We better be careful
Cause ego kills

I've got to ask myself
Is it real?
You love me, and I
haven't told you the deal
When I think, I sigh
just keep spinnin' the wheel

It's been a minute
or a milenia
Who's to tell
my mind of mania

It's an awkward answer
to your question within
Just like a lancer
I have to win

I don't know why I do this to myself
The racking of my brain is as
loud as a baby at 4 AM
I'm telling myself the obvious
to keep myself quiet and obident.

I don't know if I'm gonna make it
On days llike this when I want to sleep
the world away wishing
I could rest my head where I really
want.

You see we were perfect once
But the feelings I hold close
are too radical to share with you.

You want me to open up,
But I cannot tell you these things,
children's whispers,
Shadows in corners,
You don't know what I really think

No one does.

Every time
I look inward
I only see the little keychain
that dangled off the radiator when
the vacuum was on.

Whenever I
look forward
All I see is a swirling pond
and I don't know which wave
to follow

Every time I look at you
I feel remorse
for the promises I wish I could keep

Ad I feel myself drifting
I feel myself sliding.
Falling.

What if we could just go?
Jump out, reach forward,  and push on,
What if it isn't so,
Stay back, don't know, be withdrawn,

In a small jar
we count our coins
From Washington to Lincoln
Your habit, over thinkin'

But in the present you are unaware,
The past looks forward with a pitiful stare,
You do not fret, you haven't lost your bet,
Your life is in your care,

You don't wanna look down,
But up is about as appealing,
You're still, a creeping frown,
The silence, so healing

But now you can look forward
and back,
and at once no more of those,
Heart attacks.

One can build a house,
Or even a thousand more,
But still they're a mouse,
Hide under the kitchen floor,
To see above would drive it mad,
The wonders are divine,
The fear numbs one and they're not sad,
The knowledge makes us blind,

But aspire to be,
Know you're small, but stretch sea to sea,
Claiming land you all can see,
But can you all be?

A question old as time,
strikes the clock and we rewind,
Oh no our fates have fallen,
We were grand, but never mind.

If only

If only I could show you the way
If only I could follow my own advice
If only I knew what to say
If only I could let go of the vice

If only you were here with me
If only I could get there today
If only I could skip this mystery
If only I wasn't afraid

If only

There's a key
a mystery in the sea
the one place
it's available for me

The waves are shallow
So barren and dead
The weight of it all
compresses my head

I can't see
my eyes turn me to jelly
I can't hear
the silence is strangely calm

the key can help now
and unlock my mind
I can breathe again
the key saves my life

Mind yourself
conceive what to say and do
have manners
Now, the key is inside you

The second I look back,
I am filled with this feeling,
That I get every so often,
like when I think of those days,
the days I spent without a worry,
surrounded by my fellow delinquents,
We did not care,
We were there,
And we weren't going anywhere

But that was so long ago,
Today that is not so,
I have learned each goes their own way
Like a wave, we part ways
The fracture I feel won't escape
From the bricks that hold it in place

Teen spirit is underrated by all,
You and I, You'r dad and uncle Paul,
We all remember what it was like,
youth is valued for this exact reason
We all worship this way despite
one day, we return to dust
Maybe then, I'll feel this way too.

I have an arsenal of thoughts
but only a handful of mediums
to express all of these words
in a particular order
with a peculiar fashion

Expression is the only thing that curbs
depression in the gray sky of life
To record is to remember
to write is to make history
So write on,
it's all that is left when we pass on

Look inside and see
a complete circus full of mystery
let's examine all the silly ways
to enjoy this quaint, little place

There's a trapeze artist,
leaping for faith
Will he make it,
or fall on his face?

There's the freak show
a group of the obscene
Will they be rejected by us all
or revered, and answer the call?

There's the man shot out of a canonball,
who flies high through the sky
he's got a head start,
but will he too fall and die?

There's the animal tamer,
one of the toughest of all
constantly at war,
will he be the one to score?

And then the Ringmaster,
the man behind the curtain
he has us all fooled,
of that, I am certain

If I could wish upon  star
there would be a gleaming hope
you'd notice me
After all the time spent
After all the minutes went
I never forgave
I never forgot

There's gotta be
some kind of universe where
we can at least be friends
Just a little part of a little space and time
you and I are more than strangers

I stand at the fair
and watch all of the people there
I see a small girl walk by
as she lets go of her balloon
and watches it fly
I walk up to her and ask
"Your balloon, you let it go, why?"
She takes those big blue eyes and looks up at me
she grabs my hand and whispers quietly
in my ear
so no one else can hear
I don't quite understand what she said to me
She just simply stated "To set it free"

If I took a ****
every time it came from your mouth
I'd fill a pool in a day
I'd throw you in with a cinder block
attached to your foot.
Cause every time I speak to you,
I'm drowning in ****.

You've got a real talent
for getting on my nerves.
I can think of six ways
I'd like to deal with you

You're a piece of work,
a true Mona Lisa.
That's if the Mona Lisa were
made of complete
******

You're definitely a flying pig,
so call me John Wayne.
You definitely stumble over your own feet,
and I talk with grace
You can't seem to stop eating
and I can bench 300 pounds
You're terribly horrible,
and I am amazingly perfect

Step by step
don't get close to the ledge
down the yellow road its kept
You heart is on the edge

Jump and you can reach
know what seek
all and each
its so low and meek

The most important thing in this life is each other
the human bond, and spectrum of emotion
is as diverse and colorful as the whole god
**** world we live in.
The fever I get when I look at here is one of those things
I just know I never wanna let go of.
She makes me feel things incredible.
Family Matters.
Love is all.
Love is us.

The thing about this life
is that it's so fast I see it in slow motion
the things I get caught up on
offer infinite possibilites
for the concepts inside my head
the rythm of the earth
can match to each of us
a part of the cycle
we are all living in

If you fly high as a dragon
you can see the city below
What man cannot see, you can
the view is a unique sight,
something to behold.

Take your time, and enjoy what little
we all have
and while it is infitly unimportant
it is just as important to do it
because that  is what makes
this world
Ours.

You're like a rusted crown,
Like a unicorn on an island,
A mermaid on dry land,
and the golden apple of my life,
A creak in the floor,
and the name of the wind.

Hey there friend,
let's bend
to the will of the people.
Crane our necks
and get on our knees
this is the price of Freedom
you better go run with the bees
cause like them, you're running out of time.
But don'be be fooled by the tricks of a mime
nothing is silent
and everything shines.
Nothing is black and white
there is so much gray, despite
all of the reasons there shouldn't
in another world there wouldn't.
So enjoy what you got
give up what you sought,
cause my friend life is short
in any way shape or sort.

It's inevitable to be forgettable
no matter what print you leave
it'll wash away with the new
the new generation
will leave you on your ***
asking yourself what happened.
Where did the stereo go?
where did the youth disappear to
underneath the bags in your eyes
the crumbling fingernails
and the rusting nails holding together
plywood.
holding itself together.
Holding
on
tight.

All this time I've been worried
about the one thing that was perfect
Now I'm lost,
dazed,
confused.

Getting back to where I started,
that's probably the only way.
I've gotta to backwards,
that's okay.

If I stay here,
I'll rot away.