Should I lay my head, soaking in a tub covered in white paint
It is how you think I live, pretending to be a saint
I do not ask, but it is my children who must overcome my teachings
But what should I tell them of another man's preachings?

It is the unjust law that should be buried by glorious upheaval
For no law of despots and thieves knows equity, only evil
But thought repressed by those who will not allow others to speak
Is a law of mad men who would not give what it is they seek

In the judgment of those with too much power or nothing to lose
We are either ruled or blamed, but it is they who choose
I would die on the island of my father no matter the depth of peril
For the blood in my veins is not of the anger in your barrel

In a dream
I became a mariner when once I feared the flood
For in water I became born again
In a dream
I became silence when once I could only hear myself
For in the quiet I heard a voice
In a dream
I became a moment when I once thought only of tomorrow
For in that instant I had no worry
In a dream
I became wisdom when once I only prayed for youthful folly
For in my mind I knew of righteousness
In a dream
I became hope from the mouth a dove before I drowned
For the tree of life was now in my hands
In a dream
I am imagination when once I was only the question
For now I only see possibility
In a dream
I became creation when once I was only destruction
For now the past has forgiven me
In a dream
I became a gift when once I was only selfishness
For my desires became forgiveness
In a dream
I became humility when once I was arrogance
For my ship was so easily lost
In a dream
I became mercy when once I was punishment
For the rocks I held left my hands
In a dream
I became justice when once I was vengeance
For what is just is love
In a dream
I became life when once I  only knew of death
For grace reminded me of my choice

Sitting on a sofa watching my mind travel
beyond anything my body could follow
I don’t need space above or below to know
the things we should have learned long ago

Walking through the halls were money is made
smiling at my fellow inmates who feel the same
whatever it is that we live for is beyond the walls
built by those with hands that never feel shame

So far away
So far away
I can still feel it
No matter how far away

Sleeping in a bed that once new love every night
but now can only pretend it never happened
I thought about setting it on fire in the rain
so it would look like a heart that was blackened

Thinking about the words that know where to go
inside your nights or the dreams you never did say
the impatience of being close to what you once loved
is like the sun setting on songs that echo off the bay

So far away
So far away
I can still feel it
Just like it was today

There are so many things,
so many things we don’t know;
they weren’t written in a book;
they're not from long ago

There are so many things
we do when we’re alone;
it’s in the life of a man
to be honest in his home

There are so many things
that we shouldn’t say,
but sometimes our words
are the dreams they pray

There are so many things
that we should do;
start by being honest,
end by being true

There are so many things
that come back around;
if you don’t believe,
you’ll never be found

There are so many things
that make us quit;
but if you keep trying
you will know your spirit

There are so many things
that we all do
Is it just me?
Or is it you too?

There are so many things
that make us free;
but if you live in sin,
then it’s the same for me

There are so many things
that blocked the light,
but an eclipse in space
is not why we fight

There are so many things
that we cling to,
but I let something happen;
I forgot to hold onto you

I don't care how beautiful you are
If you don't use your mind then you're ****
You'll always just be the man you married

Don’t dry your eyes too soon
You feel more than we are able
It’s seems more than you can take
It’s like you pay the worlds debt
They said Jesus already tried once
He sent you because of all the hate

Don’t dry your eyes just for me
If it’s you then that’s what you should be
You wait by the bed while they sleep
I will wait until your heart has room for me

Don’t dry your eyes too soon
It’s never because you’re too weak
A cursed gift because you always care
You never wash your hands of it
Like sand pulling up the ocean blanket
Dripping with life you are always there

Don’t dry your eyes just for me
If it’s you then that’s what I want you to be
You always are the first one they see
I will wait until your heart has room for me

The common thread,
braided by life,
pain,
suffering,
joy
and love
binds us together as humans;
our differences make it America

I have more than just flashes of reality
But only when I’m sober

And I know exactly what I’m waiting for

I am your only lover
The only one who really loved you
The only one unafraid to tell a table full of old men
And they would know not to laugh
Or to fantasize about you
At least not in front of me

You are not afraid to fly
Or to live without trying
The wind blows its own way
And that is how you see life
It is God’s will
Time never changes
You have chosen to ignore its effect
And if the plane crashes
You will silently pray for your mothers heart
While our love accepts its fate

You set fire to the roll of film
You wanted to **** it

But I kept a copy just in case

I finally impressed you again
I needed a lucky break
A way past the guards
And it made you angry
Because now you want to kiss me
Still you hesitate
Your lips remind you where they’ve been
How can you make it different this time
Where pleasure is no longer the path away from loneliness

I am your son my father
You have come to me in a dream
You are younger than I can remember
Because I’m not born yet
How can I tell her that what we shared is all there is
That we are meant for one another
And though we cannot behave any other way
What we shared with others we must share again

So many people are watching us
It’s as if we are making a speech about freedom
They want to know if we can find love again

I heard a song from long ago
And it felt like the time I heard it when I was young
It felt the same
But you are so much more
How can we not feel what I felt in the song?

I’ve been waiting all my life for that moment
And then when it was over we looked at each other
Just like you are looking at me now
Wanting me to kiss you
You want it to be my idea

And it is
That is why I tried to impress you

Kiss me my love
It will not be like the last man
It will be what you remember
But tried to forget

We can burn the film together

It's time to make a new one

It’s more than having dry bones
while it rains every night
or being a head taller
than the one who fancies his girl
it's not just his girl clapping her hands
while they danced
or sending her flowers
knowing she would welcome them
it’s not just being forgiven by God
for what was woven by his own shame
or being given a meal
not knowing when the next will arrive
it’s more than throwing a rock
into a fountain for luck
or praying on Saturdays
for the things that life sometimes forgets
it’s being able to say
good morning and mean it
or feeling the smile of a stranger
warm a winter’s day
but most of all
it's being able to help someone else
or make them feel special
like you made me feel today

I live in my own mind,
but it is open for you to travel
My opinions play by one rule,
the truth of the matter
If I don't know
then I will have no opinion until I know
My voice relies upon temperance,
but first I will pause
What I believe is personal,
I hope my actions are enough
I value your freedom and mine,
coexistence
All I know is who I love
and they will know it too
What I advise is balance
and empathy
If you wish to change me,
I'm not for you
If you have a life,
I can respect you
If you understand me,
I could love you
To live alone is not rejection,
only discovery
To live together is about the soul,
will it survive?

I don’t care if I lose
Even if it never ends
The feeling remains
Though I blame myself

If I was driven to you
It had to happen then
I watched you walk by
I thought I was involved

The wrong side of a shadow
The wrong side of your heartless eyes
I don’t know why the sun doesn’t blind you
You blocked me from love

I’m strong enough for life
But I’m not getting away with it
I try not to notice the falling rain
By crying only in the shower

The wrong side of a shadow
The wrong side of what you see
I don’t know why the past doesn’t blind you
It only tries to do it to me

You noticed before you knew
But nobody told you what to say
What your eyes saw in them
Is not what you see today

But you made your choice
And wanted them your way
Now the end seems near
Why do you want them to stay?

All those years
Who was right
Who was wrong
Both of you forgot
It was so complicated
Now you have to decide
Can you be what it is that you’re not

You can’t stop a river
Unless you build a dam
But their words still ring true
“The currents will is who I am”

Did you ever know a time to be free?
You built a life but the hurt still lasts
We regret our mistakes and try not to look back
But life doesn’t grow in ways that buries the past

All those years
Who was right
Who was wrong
Both of you forgot
It was so complicated
Now you have to decide
Can you be what it is that you’re not

I don't have any biblical meaning
I'm just part of the story
You don't have to ask me anything
Just let me make something up
What difference does the past make
I've never spent the night in jail
Isn't that all that really matters
That and the money
You'll see it when I get around to it
It will roll out slowly
One day you'll realize I was generous
Just not all at once
The scary part is I'm over her so fast
Is that important to you
You can ask me about if if you want
But you'll just be jealous in two months
So why don't we pretend it's July
And I just said
I never loved anyone like I love you

A rose garden knows what to do
Alone doesn’t mean having to hide
What’s up what’s going on why not
Questions don't make a girl confide

A dusty bottle an old dry cork
No matter how hard it is to pull
What’s inside is what’s past
What you drink is a memory full

Hang on to what you got
Nature has a way with the lost
Find yourself take a look
Look around look around
That's what she took

Dancing on the porch
The moon is entertained
What you do is what you do
Even long ago feels no shame

Smell a rose leave it on the vine
Pour a glass full of old red wine
She’s out there you know where
Drink it up maybe you won’t care

Hang on to what you got
Nature doesn’t add up the cost
Find yourself take a look
Look around look around
Forget what she took

I was wondering how old my blood is
I haven’t bled in a long time
At least not on the outside
Maybe I should set some of it free
Free to find another
Another body to love

Say goodbye when he goes off to war
He won’t be what you remembered
He might not talk for a week
It didn’t make him wise
It just made him aware
That’s why his smile is so old

I was wondering how old my tears are
Seems like they are born every day
A gully inside every reason
A reason inside every drop
No particular place to go
Just a scar soon forgotten

Say good morning when she wakes up
The sun in her hair may set too soon
I will have to live with a regret
But I know I will always love her
So when tomorrow comes
My mind won’t feel so old

let it be so
we wish to live a natural life
especially our children
to see us off
for they can bear the loss
once prepared for life
by us who loved them

let it be so
we wish to earn our keep
to toil as honest men
without remorse for deceipt
or shame without wealth
only health and respect
for ourselves and others

let it be so
we wish to drop our sword
and our judgments
to feel healed wounds
and heal others
not by miracles
but instead by kindness

let it be so
we wish to envy no man
to find peace without pain
to save those who would be conquered
as well as our own vanquished souls
to give thanks for our blessings
and to help those who have none

I can’t seem to decide much anymore
I keep looking for a sign
That’s not how I used to live
But gettin’ closer to God takes all my time

I think my boy is gonna’ miss me
I figured out being a man meant being there for him
He has to make his way out into the world
But gettin’ closer to God is going out on a limb

It seems somebody’s always tryin’ to save me
I didn’t know I was in such a mess
I can’t be like everyone else
Jesus said pray in a closet
That’s where I think best

I’m slowing things down, that’s how it is
I don’t need to hurry anymore
That’s not how it was long ago
Gettin’ closer to God means not livin’ like before

Did you think I would never miss you
I think I know now how much I was blessed
It’s not about who loves who the most
I’m just gonna’ say it and let God tell you rest

It seems somebody’s always tryin’ to save me
I didn’t know I was in such a mess
I can’t be like everyone else
Jesus said pray in a closet
That’s where I think best

I remember when I was hungry
I still am
But not like before
I remember when I would climb out a window for you
I wonder if I would do that again
But I know you now
The mystery is gone
It's like money
It once mattered
It still does
But not like that
Not like it once did
Now I just need enough to live
Before it was a way to define myself
And I hate that I ever thought like that
I
HATE
THAT
But I don't hate that I thought that way about you
I
LOVE
THAT
And you made me feel that way
It can be that way again
All we need is time
Time for the mystery to build again
Time for you to grow
Time for me to grow
To be so different than before
I am
I wonder if you are
And that's what I need
The mystery of you

There are things I no longer need to know
Things you do not confide
It is as if you always sleep when we are apart
You no longer dream
As if there is nothing inside
Nothing to sort out in your mind
No life to tell
Whatever I once said to you
Freely without recourse
It is not your affair
You do not look to me for help
You do not mingle your thoughts with my own
I have to accept that you have moved on
Even though I know your tears will wait for me
Sad pools where your eyes drown every night

There's so many stars to count
One for your every heart beat
When you're not with me
I look to the sky at night
And as I count them again
I see your heart within my reach

i’ve never been an actor
only degrees of myself
the mercury keeps rising
as if it has a mind of itself
it feels like a neo noir movie
dark, grim like a detective
so much I didn’t foresee
so much that’s unexpected

i have a friend, beautiful, caring
we had drinks at a restaurant
she wanted me to meet her friend
what is it that she could really want
i keep wanting to ask her about it
it’s as if my heart is afraid to die
it’s as if i can’t risk one heart beat
if only she knew my eyes don’t lie

which one is worse
being unhappily secure
or sleepless fulfillment
it’s something we all endure
i don’t worry about lunch
or buying someone a ring
i have you in all my prayers
but you only live by the wing

i wonder how one-sided it can be
dreams are only what we remember
if I tell someone then it’s not a dream
it’s just another line from an actor
it's like watching people board a plane
i’m not sure if they know why they’re going
waiting to get there is how they live
but arriving is how you’ll soon be knowing

Context is understanding why they did it
Without it emotion is like a shell abandoned by the ocean
Contrast reveals our differences though the water feels the same
Someone noticed my palms
I said how much I sweat depends on the distance between us

A whisper is sweet music like a match that lights easily
But passion is how we know if they are honest
You were once a star that fell from the sky long ago
You finally learned to swim
But the ocean walked away when you weren’t looking

I asked you a question and you asked me why
I said I wanted to touch a white canvas with a brush
But I had to dip the tip into the paint first
You smiled at my hesitance
But someone who lives by the tide is always ready to leave

That’s alright son
Go ahead and shock me
Tell the world how you feel
Show me all the things you see

The only way to be
Is to live for you and not for me
I can take anything you say
I believe you no matter the plea

You don’t have to be clever
Or worry about wasting words
The breath in your anger is valid
Just like the wings on angry birds

Whatever is all around you
It’s not something you should fear
They don’t know you either
The way to walk is to keep yourself near

That’s alright son
Go ahead, listen to your command
I don’t mind dying inside your mind
Because it's a man who wants to stand

You might be tempted
Or maybe you’ll become the tempt
Don’t forget that what you hear
Are weak minds selling contempt

It’s the fate of evil to meet you
But you know that already
The sword is now in your hands
What caution said is now your reality

But whoever you must slay
Will never agree that it should be intended
Just know that your aim must decide
If he is a fool or the one who ascended

That’s alright son
Go ahead and blow my mind
I did it to myself long ago
And now it’s you that I hope to find

I want to write a book someday
The pages to be drawn by the things I know
But the story has no way to end
Or any way to go
I thought it would be about me
Until I heard what you had to say
It was about holding hands with God
And it made me want to pray
So maybe now I know where to begin
Even if I don’t know how it will end
You taught me something that day
And it made me want to be your friend
I started thinking about setting suns
And forest fires begging for rain
But then I thought about green grass
Growing where the soil once felt pain
I wanted to take you for a walk
We'd go where the land is flat
I wanted to see how the earth curves
It reminds me how life is like that
Still you didn’t want to see the end
Then you told me the things you said
I didn’t know what anyone could say
But you raised the cup and ate the bread
I hated that I worried about how I looked
Then I realized the book had no pictures
I’ve never seen the real me anyway
I decided to listen to you read the scriptures
I know what God said but this time it was different
I wanted to be you because it was all so real
I don’t know you because we’ve never met
But I love you because you make me feel

I keep pushing the walls back
I might be in prison
But it's not going to be something I notice
There's room for a steer's skeleton head
Birds that scatter the wind before them
And a windmill that forgot how to draw water

Everthing in my head is just a backtrack
I need a new rhythm
Everbody says so but then they lose focus
They talk but end up complaining instead
A prison yard that I invent won't condemn
I'm not gonna' be the one despair will conquer

I know you're feeling something
You see the rain in ways that I never saw fall
But I can't make it happen
Everytime I try who you are stands behind a wall

I know you hear the music
It's saying something that the words can't reveal
But though I try to understand
It's a message that I will never know to be real

I didn't take any pictures
I only wanted memories to remember
But you took away the things that only you knew

I know you have a look in your eye
It's faraway even though you lay next to me
But though I can kiss you tonight
It's a distance that makes it hard to see

I didn't take any pictures
I onlly wanted to write you sonnets
But you read them as if they were never true

Excuse me while I think this through
It won't change the world
It won't change mine
It won't make me love you more
It won't make me love you less

It's just that it's important how I think
It's important to know what I believe
And if I can't take the time to think
I won't have the time to think about you
It's the time of my life that I must confess

I began with the time I was child in the South
Then in a dream I spoke Arabic with Rambam
What is the difference between describing God
And asking for your rights as a human being
Once I know I will know if my life is blessed

But you wonder why I can't include you always
It is so hard to make you believe in silence
It is easy to share but only if we know it will end
The balance between devotion and discovery
Is to know what is love and what are regrets

Sometimes our colors cross paths, reminding
Something greater than ourselves, lives
A color we never knew, but
What we found was a dream the wind blew apart

We were born
And when we changed colors everyone saw us
But we fell (or did we?)
It was too much to bear

We asked ourselves

Were we the leaves or the tree?
What colors did we ask to be
Green mornings, growing
Golden autumn seasons, temporary
Brown everlasting, strong, forever

Which was it my love?

As I lay on the ground, wondering
The answer was all around me, each of us
Our own color of fate and love, for what
We never knew

Were you looking for me?

A still rocking cradle
It kept me close to my family’s heart
As you filled me up like a newborn baby
I could feel my purpose for a moment
But then you stood up to see
And that’s when I knew the life to be
Was only passing through me

Broken heart colors flatten the sky
Mountains are formed in the air
A fire lights a path through the sand
No matter how beautiful your goodbye
I can no longer live just to watch you go

Everything you want is right here, but
There’s not enough of you to take it
You left too much behind
You gave everything you had
Except a tear from another time

Pieces of you once washed up on shore
I tripped over them walking in the surf
You didn’t care about being pushed away
Or if the tide claimed you back again
Only a shell hopes for a strangers touch

It’s a movie we’ve already seen
A book both of us has read
I don’t want to think like that
If only you could see what I see
A future without the past in it

It’s not that your heart is confused
It’s just that its lost its purpose
Once you loved life recklessly
Now it’s as if you’ve forgotten how
But remembering is how you breathe

I once thought your love was the *** of gold at the end of the rainbow; it was nice to think about but I wondered who could ever find such a thing; but when it rained and I saw the colors I knew I didn't have to wonder anymore because what I did see was more than I could ever dream; it seems we always want more because mystery is allure and restlessness is what we have already seen

You entered my life walking through my eyes
But when you left it was through my heart
I didn’t think anything was more than myself
Until you said I never made you feel more than less

You became every girl that I see kiss
A man that I knew that they loved
I never knew you when you weren’t coming for me
Or leaving just to get away

I didn’t know how
To let you be who you are
We never had a chance
Because I thought I was doing you a favor
I knew you felt that way
But only for a year maybe more
Then one day you realized
You were stronger without me

You entered my life swimming through my tears
But when you drowned I couldn’t save you
I needed you for an instant
And for a moment I was the love you always wanted

I am every man who looks at you
A girl they want to possess
You never knew a time when you weren’t my night
Or a day that I felt might be our last

I didn’t know how
To let you be who you are
We never had a chance
Because I thought you were the lucky one
I knew you felt that way
But only for a year maybe less
Then one day you realized
I was weaker without you

I want to be able
to know a cool summer breeze
without feeling it
I want to be able
to be satiated by a mountain spring
without drinking it
I want to be able
to reflect a sunset for lovers
without seeing it
I want to be able
to be swept away by the ocean
without swimming in it
I want to be able
to live where dark becomes light
without having to fly in it
I want to be able
to care about pain and suffering
without waiting to live it
I want to be able
to accept truth no matter what
without denying it
I want to be able
to love someone faithfully
without resenting it
I want to be able
to be a free man in my lifetime
without killing for it
I want to be able
to worship the God of my soul
without be told to do it

The only thing that approaches
is the direction in which you think
You’ve heard every emotion speak
trying to take things too seriously
But the choice now is only about you
and the bottle you decided to drink

I can’t listen to anyone
not when they trample my mind
There is nothing to convince you
except your birth was not like mine

Every woman I know is equal now
but their voices anguish themselves
Don’t talk to me about levels
or the way I held you back
It was nothing but the way we lived
and I’m the one holding a shovel

You have to decide what you are
taking pictures or content to stare
What else can it be when we can’t live
without a memory first before experience
Tell me how you will ever remember
if all that matters is that you were there

I’m going to laugh now
it is not my place to pretend
I ask nothing of you or my son
we are riders without a compass
But what I felt today
was a voice crying to be the one

The water laps without memory
upon sand that once bled
He feel to his knees once there in prayer
and now again to recall what God said
Even the breeze fell silent to the witness
of the bells, echoing what we once read

A reluctant hero, the same as a tourist
this land was not his land,
But the hearts that once beat in sorrow
recognize his outstretched hand
The moon spoke without being asked
“Their grieving washed away with the sand”

When dreams become nightmares
and glory ages into regret
we watch as he stretches his uniform
over a heavy heart covered in sweat
He knew the tears of a soldier fall hard
upon folded flags unable to forget

The whole world all around
Celebrating being free
Their savior’s coming
But he doesn’t see what I can see

I’m still here Lord
Have you made up your mind?
I can no longer bear this burden
What is it in me you hope to find?

I see it in their faces
Jesus on the corner
There are no wise men bearing gifts
Only the cold air will remember

I tried to climb a mountain
But it was crying too
No matter what nature says
It’s no better than what a man can do

It seems my memories have become nails
I look at my hands and you won’t let the heal
Tell me Lord how long will I have to live like this
They cut my hands and you cut where I kneel

I see it in their faces
Jesus on the corner
There are no wise men bearing gifts
Only the cold air will remember

The first time I saw a tree,
I was amazed at how big it was, until
I saw how the leaves drew shadow pictures;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw the night,
I wondered where the sun was hiding, until
I saw the stars and how my father loved them;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw the ocean,
I wondered if the sky began at the end, until
I saw ships come back from the horizon;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw a person sick,
I wondered if they would ever get well, until
I saw them smile though their ribs hurt;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I heard strange sounds,
I ran because the way people looked at us, until
I learned my family spoke another language;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw someone different,
I didn't understand why he was dreaming, until
I saw the hate in another man's eyes;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw a bomb,
I was glad we had won the war, until
I saw the barren land and broken refugees;
then I realized there was more to it

The first time I saw a picture of a cross,
I was shocked a man was nailed to it, until
it was revealed why he did not save himself;
then I realized there was more to it

You’re living day to day
I live thinking I have plenty of time
You're not waiting for dream
Sleeping is like committing a crime

I wait for my dreams to take me away
There’s nothing to read on the walls anymore
All the pictures have been taken down
I have to forget or try to imagine it's like before

You're so strong
You’re already forgiven
He let you live another day
I wasted the one before
He taught you to walk like you’re in heaven
He told me I still need to pray

You don’t ask for much anymore
He taught you how to count blessings
And the day that the morning sun brings
Is the blessing I always seem to be missing

I think about the nights
You think about each day
We seem to live on opposite sides of the world
The light you reflect makes God smile
The darkness I absorb is why I’ve lost my way

You're so strong
You’re already forgiven
He let you live another day
I wasted the one before
He taught you to walk like you’re in heaven
He told me I still need to pray

I realized I was found when my purpose became duty
It was as if a spear passed through my body without a mark
I know because I felt something but I cannot prove it
The time that passed was instead the distance traveled
And though I was hollow before, this time I actually knew

I thought about taking a chance to see fears beauty
We never take the time to gaze upon its life changing arc
Instead we run never know how we can conquer it
The distance between is instead the time that has passed
And though I have my purpose it is too hard without you

I began to think I was on the front row watching a movie
The strain of the images was like separating light from dark
My entrails retained a memory despite my need to forget it
The distance of time was shortened by my arrival
And though I will remember, it is desire I must subdue

we imagine
a fire surrounding a princess
we don't want to be afraid
she is worth the agony of our fantasy
would we die for her
because her smile reflected the water
as a dream reflects our sorrow
would we?
or is it just a myth
the greatness of one man
willing to die for love
or is it only his people
who love the story
for it is their fire
and it burns inside their minds
to risk death is to say
love is theirs to keep
and beauty
is not to be bound by dragons
or shallow men
blinking as a light skips past
like a rock
across water
held aloft by the force of our desire
to walk upon water
believing in the impossible
believing in love
no matter the cost
no matter the loss

If I looked at you
Would you smile or be disappointed?
It's not me that you should judge
Because if you think I'm like every other man
Then you're wrong my love

It's just that what I feel
Is what I see in you
And the fear that makes you reject me
Is not because you think I'm ordinary
It's because you think you are

Don't be sorry to accept my love
I'm no longer here for the night
It's only about the morning
Because a sunrise is what I want
And not shadows afraid of your life

If you think you cannot hold me
Then let your eyes fall to the floor
But what I want is what you want
And though we knew each other once
It's not the past that will save us

How many times can you say no?
What is tomorrow without hope?
You won't tell me why
But your eyes can never lie
And that is why I want you so badly

You have to believe in yourself
And you have to believe in me
If I seem so desperate to you
Then is it really me or you?
Because all I said was hello

i could paint you
red and white
still couldn't get it right
but you'd smile anyway
you like those colors
but not if it means you have to stay
that's not being free
somebody's fantasy
they hold you tight
their mind has it all figured out
but you say
not tonight
that's ok
i have it figured out
i love you
and there's nothing more than that
one day
little bit at a time
you'll be in in my flat
can you live like that
you could if you would
that's it isn't it?
if you would

You know me so well
And you know the love we planted in the ground
Still you wear pretty dresses
Like colorful leaves reflecting the eyes that watch
And you do it when I’m not around

You remember me
And you laughed and said you missed that about us
Still you won’t open up
Like a day that would rather it still be the night before
The sun thinks of things you won’t discuss

Understand
I’m just a waiting man
Waiting for you to find someone else
Better than I am
I hope you can
So I won’t be a waiting man
Until you remember
I’m not the reason you ran

We knew how
How to be in love as if it we’d done it before
Still you question me
Like asking a blue sky to come down for a moment
To see if it would rather be paint on your door

Understand
I’m just a waiting man
Waiting for you to find someone else
Better than I am
I hope you can
So I won’t be a waiting man
Until you remember
I’m the shadow on your hand

I used to think dying wasn't fair
Now I'm happy it’s a slow death
I need to stick around a little more
I'm not gonna’ ask what for

I’m not ready for streets of gold
I don’t know how to live like that
Maybe it’s just my imagination
This world is only good for complainin’

God I’m outta’ control
God, are you outta’ control too?
Are you still throwin’ paint at us?
Are you still trying to create us?

It feels like some sort of made up game
I’m no tourist I don't care where I go
I just live here
I’m not very biblical
Just a part-time saint and a full-time criminal

I’ve been movin’ around
I’m not a part of anything
I just remember the people I met
And when it rains they still get wet

God I’m outta’ control
God, are you outta’ control too?
Are you still throwin’ paint at us?
Are you still trying to create us?

Are y'all together?
Oh yeah she said,
I remind him of that every night
He amazes everyone
That's my curse
His is that I have the strength to leave
That's what she said
He needs to wake up
And she's the one to do it
Yes she is

Caring too much is bad for your health
I can feel it eating my guitar strings alive
I only wish I’d 've of played them sooner

I chose anger instead of rehab
Raw nerves over anesthesia
I’ve never felt more like an adult
But something is blocking the drain
Like a body trying to sober up

I can’t blame it on something
I can’t say everybody makes mistakes
That’s not something I believe in
I don’t compare myself anymore
Except to the light coming through my window

Caring too much is bad for your life
I can feel it eating my expectations alive
I only wish I’d 've killed them myself

Walk on the stage and rip ‘em to shreds
Who cares how much they make
We never get that satisfaction do we?
To see a bully lose is the dream
But how many dreams come true?

You asked me if I liked your shorts
I said yes
Then you said you won’t take them off
So why did you ask?
You said I like to see men squirm

I almost blamed myself on you
Then I remembered I asked you to fix me
It’s not so easy being irreparable
But I don’t even have a tattoo to regret
I didn’t have the guts to love you like that

Caring too much is bad for your heart
I can feel it eating this poem alive
I only wish I'd 've written it before you left

Where the wind cannot find a friend
It’s just a ghost town trying to get away
I didn’t bother to board up the windows
So you can imagine how things used to be

I’m trying not to over-react anymore
It’s hard to get used to things right away
I don’t like rearranging tomorrow today
When I’m still cleaning up yesterday

I’m not love sick about anyone right now
Every pretty face is just a heart full of fear
I know what to do with sweet rain falling
Would it be better with you I’ll never know

I listen to every word, see every face
You see so little as you pass me by
What’s missing is what I don’t talk about
My past decides what it is you should see

I want to light a candle in a storm
The eye of a hurricane needs help
Nothing works like it did before we met
But the match in my hand will light for you

How can I decide
When I know so little?
How can I know
When life is a riddle?
How can I love
What I cannot see?
How can my mind accept
What it cannot conceive?
How can I preach
When I do not understand?
How can I hear
Tongues from a foreign land?
How can I believe
Miracles from long ago?
How can I choose
Which words to follow?
How can I be like you
If it is you I do not understand?
How can we live together
When truth is built upon sand?
How can I worship
A God who remains silent?
How can I bow
In a world that remains violent?
How can I turn the other cheek
When it hurts so much?
How can I drink your blood
When your cup I cannot touch?
How can I be saved
When the wretched rule our domain?
How can heaven wait
For a mind that causes so pain?
How can I know you
When the words of man fail?
How can I know
When money is our holy grail?
How can I know the truth
When we believe a lie?
How can I know
When the answer is always why?

The conversation in my head is no place to start
The car is moving too fast and the doors are closed
If you want to jump on the hood then there it is
If I stopped I’d be water that suddenly froze

The life is that and it’s not something to explain
I never walked up to someone and said hello
A sidewalk is not the place where worlds meet
It’s place where you could stop but instead we go

We’re too deep that’s why we can’t see each other
We can’t blame it on the night when it’s our choice
It’s not that you can’t understand it’s just too loud
The quiet of the sea is enough to drown my voice

I can’t climb a mountain when I’m already at the top
Did you want me to prove it or just wait for you?
Everything I discovered on my own was already there
Maybe it’s time for me to ask if you found it too

If she thinks beyond her mate
And arrives at the point of who she is
He will try to pull her back

Because she might continue on

He is not the only one she knows
And he knows
He is not the only one who makes her think
And he knows

But she finally decided

Nothing new can be discovered thinking of something else
Unless you believe in accidents
And she can no longer wait