There's plenty for me to cry about
So many hearts in heaven touching mine
At least it was real and it's still the same
But your eyes, where I now see the truth
It's where I finally understood time

Passing quickly and taking it's toll
On the way we live and the way we love
Too much for granted, too many mistakes
But what I could never understand
At least I do now and what it's made of

It's not a long night without missing someone
But heaven is always bathed in the light
It passes quickly for spirits that finally know right
While we learn the hard way after it's done

You help me live, you help me give
Even though I don't always know it
The way I look at you, a reflection
Of the things I wanted to see
I need you more than I like to admit

It's not a long day without missing someone
But what ends begins again in the night
Feelings that once fell short become so right
When everything becomes what was once none

The bright side of the moon
With a dilated awakening heart
Still it could not gaze upon us
And for a moment
The dark side was all we could see

I knew it was time for us
A high noon love affair
Under celestial shadows
I could only think of you
Stay the night by daylight my love

What happens now
A reflection whispers its life away
Watching the windy rip tide out to sea
Where only disapproving eyes are blinded
When will we meet again?

I could change your life
But only knowing that I approved
That was enough for once
It had to be
For the next life is all that remains

I have never been able to straight line a draw
Nor my name,
a letter missing always when I sign
Nothing so grand that would a painting make a camera sad
Beyond these perfections,
I fell short yet to speak was still mine
I have nothing to stare at for so long except the rain
So different, yet the same
Today I watched it’s fabric,
like wind across fields of wheat
or corduroy pants
But I do not have any to wear;
still,
I am dry as the balcony only feels the water like light
The rain does not care what I think
Nor of my sight
And though I am moved forward in my chair
Nature is not one to meet
Not anyone or anything
No language
Or memory
That is for me only
Like something I said to you long ago
Something that was true
I wonder if you remember
Or if only it was like the rain upon you
Not a place to live
A smile
Or a frown
A face to the sky
Or to run because your dress was new
But you know
As do I
The park will be there for you in the spring
There is nothing vain about rain upon your heart
Like the words I once spoke
Uneven as they were
Without every letter I wished upon you
A crooked line
An unrecognized signature
My life
Not perfect
Instead, discovering what an accident blessed;
still,
I will remember what love broke
Will you remember what love spoke?

Let’s look at it together she said
But don’t look because you are lonely
That's what he was thinking

Now she realized she doesn’t want integration
Just a partner
That’s different than a relationship of the soul
It meant she was a person
Not a woman trying too hard to convince him to love her

She thought back on her life
She once was fully immersed
Her mind was inside the mind of being a couple
That was where love came to live
But he walked in and out of love
Or so she thought
But he was there all along

She wanted to talk about tonight
He was still thinking about this morning
She just had to know
What do you want to do?
He couldn’t answer the question
There was no need
So she walked away

How did they meet
The times of their mind together
Living in a state of being without
And a state of being what they weren’t
Meeting like this
Without a good reason
Except ***
It went from there

Now she was one
She needed it to feel like that
But he never thought about life
He wouldn’t for at least five more years
And there was nothing she could do to change him

It was a gap
They call it schismogenesis
Or maybe it should be called relationship paralysis
Scientists study it all the time
And talk about it
With other people
And each other
But not her
Or him
She just wanted chemistry
And karma
He was just living
The gap was so far
That’s why she didn’t see him in their mind
It was just so far to the other side

She remembered him
He taught her a few things about expectations
She hated that it took so long
Even worse was that she had to accept it
But everyone has opinions
She wanted hers to be his

It was as if she had to become a man
A young man
She wanted to know that freedom
The blankness
Not needing to be pretty
Just brooding
Or maybe stoic without vanity

She wondered if she would live long enough to change one more time

She had been a young girl
Then a young man
When would she become a wise person
How long would it take

The scientists tried to reach her
But she didn’t know they existed
Or where
Or that they could describe the gap
Or that there was that name for it
It sounded so deep
But so distant
She didn’t want to feel like she had an affliction
But how do you describe the failure of love
Was it like a poem
Or a study

She was the guinea pig
Or  maybe he  was
But they both were

She was embarrassed by all of it
Nobody died
How did it get so deep
The sharing of one mind

Killed by dinner plans

Once I walked the rim
The silence broken by a bell
I could hear it clearly though it was beyond my reach
A sailboat with three masts
Idly part of my horizon

The sails I cannot trim
But the story I can tell
The feeling of a quiet moment with its intent to teach
You know because it lasts
Without any reason

I walk where I’ve been
By listening to a shell
Laying alone washed ashore on a shadowed beach
A life with two pasts
But which to believe in

You believe in him
And now I believe in hell
I can only remember you telling me not to preach
We became two paths
Yours sin, mine religion

I wonder about it
How much am I worth
Am I worth so much to be a coward?
Is it more valuable to be a coward
Or a dead man

I need to be baptized
But it has to be by John the Baptist
Not just anybody
Unless it's really only about me
And God's plan

If I saw enough killing
And horror
Maybe I'd become what I saw
Maybe I'd even laugh about dying
And not cry about why it began

It's not about being human
Not anymore
If I can't **** the enemy
How could I live with myself
The way my flag says I can?

To be able to prove it to you
Aging is my story
It’s all there
Look it up
Listen to it
You want to know me
I’m right here
And my skin is as clear as my mind

The worst part of it though
Is a young girl will never ask again
“How old are you?”
I know what I said
“How old do you want me to be?”
A rock star moment
Instead my children laugh
Their rolling eyes make me slip

I can cry over Ronson or Farner
I’m not their lover
But I love them
Without fear of who I am
Sometimes I grow far or fast
Even though I'm right next door
But my space mask is on loan
Earning interest in a bank

There is no excess to report
Neither promiscuity or wild intake
I ingest the passing air
And the hopes of my friends
We haven’t given up
I told them not to
**** the feeling of irrelevance
A singers song knows who we are

The color gray has been offered as tribute
the pain of age is not a mark that cares to hide
but within my grasp, change, acceptance
as only a weathered stone would know
standing firm as a relic of the past
stubborn as an eye that loves beauty
solemn as a view from the summit
hard as love that lost its chance, but
waiting for the glowing *** to boil again
every morning I become remembrance
walking slowly on distant shores
because regret is already late
there are no broken mirrors
or paintings of jagged edged emotion
of the time you were my friend
we both know how we once felt
but is it now to live for something new
or for someone who believes in fate
I am a bridge you crossed, lagging behind
the fire you see in the distance is my torch
the moon that once guided us cannot walk straight
there is no more broken glass under our feet
only the sound of a ring falling onto the floor
there are no songs about what was lost
only the wind blowing memories to safe harbors
yet you said maybe
yet you said what could be
is me
but if what is to be
is what is never again
and what once was
will only last forever in gray hue
and tiny lines traced upon our faces
then the final truth is that I loved you
and I knew
that what was inside of you
was what was inside of me

Everything seems warmer than it used to be
But the world is still cold
Life goes on no matter how hard it can be
I’m feeling the pain of gettin’ old

I wish I could take one last look
But you didn’t tell me about your plans
It was enough to write a book
And I’m left with the pages in my hands

Too many times
Too many days
Too many gone by
Life goes on
I have so many tears
Too many asking why
But it’s too cold for me to cry

You might be thinking it’s easy for me
That I’m able to live without you
There’s more to a heart than a beat
Now I know what you said was true

I know what to think
But I don’t know what to write
I don’t know if I want to read about it
I just know I keep thinking it
You left me like that baby
I’m not gonna’ ask a book to tell me why

Too many times
Too many days
Too many gone by
Life goes on
I have so many tears
Too many asking why
But it’s too cold for me to cry

Do you believe in your path
Is it enough to live this way without me?
I am not the path
You cannot walk upon my heart
Or the reasons why I may be by your side
Where your life may point
Is a direction we never discussed
It had to be this way
Because now we know
We are meant to be together
Not as a choice
But as who we are

We were both drawn to it
And though the river moves swiftly
We are able to withstand its force
Because we are the rock of our own life
Though we are eroded from our birth
We have altered the course of the waters
I felt your hearts effect upon mine
As its soft edges strengthened my own

Do you believe in my path
Is it enough to live this way with me?
We are the memory of the same forest
We would never walk upon fallen leaves
Without purpose
We would never face the sky
Without its motion in time with our own
You did not have to speak of it
I already knew
Yes my love I feel it too
In our whispers the wind is born again
And we will follow no matter how far

To write in such a way
That you hear music
Without sound
See my breath
Without frost in the air
Feel my heartbeat
From afar
Is not as difficult
As to make you believe
That words as intentions
Are the same as actions
To come
But I will continue
Until you know what I say is true
And that what I am building
Is a bridge between caution and longing
From the songs that I hear
And the breath that I see
And the heartbeat that I feel
From you

An island is of the earth
As is the water all around
Mountains and streams
You and I
All share the same mother

When the earth is bleeding
And so too our hearts
The blackened skies
That make us afraid
Are stains upon our soul

Separated from God
A bird covered in oil
Every breath one of survival
Crying out
What has become of us?

Take my hand
I will clean each feather
To fly again, freely
We are more than suffering
Though pain is my teacher

To stare into the sun
Without blinking
Is to see life for a moment
But only blindness will remain
Unless you can hear my voice

Do not push me away
For I want nothing from you
Is it so hard to imagine
Someone different than you
Wanting only for you to live?

Sometimes your politics are such a bore
Why don’t you look me in the eye instead
Hold it there until you don’t know what to say
That kind of intimacy scares you doesn’t it
That’s why you closed them when you kissed me

It’s the courage to think about a love affair
in the middle of being without your car
and not enough money to get it fixed again
It’s so slow you can actually get used to it
waiting around a pawn shop is a way of life

It doesn’t take a cowboy to build something
Somebody had to pour the slab on wall street
walking the dog is like ignoring capital letters
I can’t say much else to tell you about right now
Sweet sweet dreams are what I’d rather think about

What’s the plan when I get back from my monkey swing
I’m tired of observing the problems of figuring you out
Is it going to happen or are you going to make me suffer first
Don’t look for the chorus because there isn’t one
The whole thing is a bridge that you’d rather cry than cross

there i was far enough along
help me up it’s just my hand
i’ll keep the life you take the trip
where we go from here
that’s not for me to say

i was lent in your belly button
how i got there surprised you
don’t scrape me away yet
i want to hear your insides purr

how did i warn myself about you
i didn’t except to say it’s time

i’m a question inside you
friend or lover it’s so close
i couldn’t take it last week
now i’m back again but still
living like last week’s love affair

the deepest blue is where we left it
i’ve never seen a sun set so reluctantly
come back come back your eyes said
but you were the one who closed them
while the ocean told me to say goodbye

how did i walk so far with you
i didn’t but if felt that way

I have not abandoned you Lord
But unworthiness is a desert without mercy
It is how I live my life now
Yet what you planted within me remains healthy

There is room in my heart for learning
Tell me where to begin no matter north or south
What language should I speak
For what is holy is beyond the grasp of my mouth

I have only found within my nature
The drive to inscribe my pleas into the public domain
And into my mind has been revealed
A way to avert my eyes while I confess to you my pain

I never heard a word from you
But what I am feeling is as powerful as love lost
What lingers though is my conscience
And I will rebuild myself no matter the cost

if the feeling is all of myself
and to be young is to be alone
then i will be alone
there is nothing about me that is growing old
though time would disagree
i will not accept anything less
there is no generation to which i belong
except the one that spans my past and my future
when my body existed
because that is the only life my blood can warm
but the bridge i have built
is the one that requires no beginning
or end
i have time for nothing else
except to cross without remorse
or regret
about what i discover about myself
and choose to tell you my love

We went to the waterfall to hear a new song
Instead we saw blooming wildflowers standing by
We thought to look into the distance
But ridgelines led us instead to where bees fly

The feeding waters ran through my fingers
While mountain vistas held fast to its piney snow dust
We were not born before the thaw became creeks
But your falling hair spun a web to catch the things we must

Without misty morning questions
Or glowing horizon suggestions
We were lost in our own way
But our tears were never alone
Together, we would find our new home

The dark green watched quietly like a happy mother
While shadows and misty light playfully hid from one another
As our hands reached across the splintered wood
The wild children stopped to watch how we loved each other

Long stemmed perennials blushed in the light
Nothing could make us turn our backs on what we’d found
You grew quiet as your smile instead finally knew
It was time for us to plant seeds into loves fertile ground

Without misty morning questions
Or glowing horizon suggestions
We were lost in our own way
But our tears were never alone
Together, we would find our new home

What would I say standing in front of a policeman?
What would I say standing in front of a black man?
What would I say standing in front of a victim?
What would I say standing in front of my children?
What would I say standing in front of the Constitution?
What would I say standing in front of the Sanhedrin?
What would I say standing in front of a Roman?
What would I say standing in front of heaven?

Why ain't you improvin'
Whatever is holding you back ain't real
But you made it come alive
You invented a thief that likes to steal
You invented a dream you can't feel
Wake up
Walk outside and find yourself
Then claim it
It takes a long time to master it
If you don't try then who you are will reject you
That's the pain you feel
It's you rebelling from the thief
Who let him in the house?
You did
So why ain't you improvin'
It doesn't matter where you were born
Who your parents are
What church you were raised in
What flag you salute
Who you really are may be a thousand miles away
If you can't find it then you ain't looking hard enough

She watched clouds just to know how to feel
But now she wants to talk to them about it
She looks at stars to feel closer to life around her
But she knows she’s further away than they are

She heard someone talking about eagles flying
She wished she could find that place inside
She always saw nature as a place to escape
But even falling leaves can’t hide a scar

She wants more
More than walking
More than watching
She wants to know
Why do clouds act that way

She watched clouds just to know how to feel
But now she wants to ask them what it’s about
She looks at stars to see if the answers are there
But she knows her past is as close as they are far

She wants more
More than gazing
More than wondering
She wants to know
Why the stars are so far away

I can be inspired all alone
I wonder how much greater with you
To think in a dream
Or to feel in your arms
I know what is true
And what is the waiting
I can't build a castle so high
That you would not be able to enter
Not to be the queen
But to tear the walls down
To show me that a dream is real
And the wild animals that roam
Is the life we will conquer together

I want to love you like my children
Love never ending
Relationship instead of accomplishment
Life and its problems
Shared and solved
Never saying goodbye
Knowing a phone call is where love is sent

I told you, you would be the last
And to make it true I must continue my fast
The pain of my words is a long road
No matter if I die before I reach the end
Because if I do
Then what I said to you would not be another lie
Instead it will be the only memory from your past
And you will live on knowing what I said was true

It’s alright my darling
Tears do not make spots
No one will know your feelings

As they dry upon my garment
Only they will know when you fell out of love with me

Living after the final wave
You think it’s a ******* to catch your breath
Then you realize the ocean has its own life
It told me to drown somewhere else

I pulled each thread apart
Looking for signs of our last moment together
Now they lay in a pile on the floor wondering about me
Who would look for the wind where it began after it has already left?

I met her somewhere in the cold
We were there for the same reason
Why else would we be there
She approached me expectantly
Did she just want a way home
Or a road to my heart
She was frozen
But I could see all her colors inside
She would melt soon enough
Would there be anything left
Or just a puddle for me to wade in?

She said I made her think deeply
She didn’t like it very much
Still, I would convince her
Then I’d laugh it off
It made her upset
Why did I toy with her like that
She said you’re not serious
Even though you act like it too many times

I told her to stay humble
Let me be your ego
It’s not that difficult for me
I  have enjoyed my own immeasurably
But I can thaw out your doubts
And nobody will know my strength has become yours

But she didn’t like that
She didn’t want that
She refused to consider that
Because that was relying upon a man
And she swore it would never happen again

But as the cold made her teeth chatter
My arms flowed all around her
The thin blood thickened with desire
It was a matter of survival
Use me if you want to live
We can settle up tomorrow
If it was only a moment then I have plenty
I don’t need another one
I don’t have to be the only one
People don’t live like that anyway
Freezing
Thawing
Freezing
Vowing never again
I don’t like that
I won’t consider that
I will refuse that

Still I want to help you
Don’t ask me why
It will only seem to be about me
For what pleases the eye is never selfless
Only possessive
But yes you are beautiful
Why would I want it any other way?

Are you willing to risk a kiss
Or is it the time that passed
The road between us is long
But the memory is longer
It is so easy for me
But not for you
How could you love a man
Who pretends he can't lose
You took a walk
But didn't check the weather
That's the chance you decided to take
I might be a storm
Or light reflecting in a rain forest
You decided to find out
If I was taking pictures
Or showing you my heart

They say a poet should not cultivate sentiment
But I will not be wrong to cry with someone
Nor to smile for the fact that we met again
For though I could describe flowers
I’d rather hear your deep sighs
And even if I must wait
I will not be still waters dying under the sun
For if your heart is ever cast before another
I will be there if he walks over it
Telling you never to vow away love
You were made to try again
For your failures are what new rivers seek
Born from tears raining all around you
To fill your heart again before you put it away
Forever
Because what I want is to tell you that I love you
And I don’t care who knows
Or thinks
About how I say it
Or show it

You decided to love something
And it became who you are
You know the way home but took a different path
Going alone is for the strong
Or is it the way of the lost
Someone told me it is for those who can only be free

Like every ocean crossed
And every mountain climbed
There’s so much of life worth fighting for
Into our eyes we choose
Either the sun or the night
But what makes a shadow is what blocks the light

It was my past facing the sun
An eclipse of my own doing
I wondered if my mistakes could ever be forgiven
But statues don’t walk away
Shoelaces don’t tie themselves
And even misty morning coffee can’t bring you back to me

I picked a flower
But not just a flower
A rose
But not to give it to you
But because it was you
I want you now
Make my skin bleed with your nails
Shed your petals
Leave the ground beneath me awash in memories
That fade
Then shock me with your beauty
For it will bloom
No matter the rain
The pain
The sun
That burns into the soil
Into your heart
Where you really live

I walked upon the sand
But not just the sand
The desert
But not to die
But because I want to prove it to you
I want you now
Make my mind bleed by your absence
Let it see visions
Of palm trees and water
Where the crawlers gather
But they are not imagined
They are beneath my feet
Laughing as I begin to crawl with them
They know it is not how I live
I am weak
But I proved it to you
It’s what you wanted
Burning on the inside
Willing to tell you how I feel
Rejected
By a desert rose
Still the distant flute rings clear
I was not put here because of you
Only to suffer by your hand
Even dunes can make shadows
That draw trails down the hillside
To be forgotten until the next desert storm
Or a hurricane
Because sand is sand
It is all the same
The horizon is not you
But the sounds of the tempest from within is you
Because I choked on the sand that I thought was your heart
And it was
Once

Are you just one more person who wished man was never born?
The wars of our lifetime are more deadly than those of antiquity
But instead we worry about the weather

What we fight for is easy when all we have to do is cultivate shame
Someone is living a life the same as you though he sleeps well
I wonder how it is we will ever come together

Has there ever been a warning that one day made you wonder?
The man who spoke loudest said now you will die soon
But I already knew that I won’t live forever

Did you excel at amassing a fortune and then laughing about it?
Or building fences dividing the land because you wrote the law?
But those who love the poor is our true measure

There's no escape
Except inside your dreams
You imagine me there
Invite me over sometime

See you smile
How you see me
Yes that's what I need
A belief to try

Let me try
Let me try
I do want to know
How it is you love me

Go ahead ask
I tell you I was thinking
About waterfalls
And loving you there

You are beautiful
Yes let me try
To make you feel that way
The way you you feel to me

Let me try
Let me try
Running away in dreams
That you made for me

I’m glad I lost someone that I loved
I’m glad I’ve felt being alone
Love is not about kicking the right leaves in a pile
It’s about the chance to bring them to you
And remember the one you picked
The Fall that you rose again
When you looked at me
It was the way the season knew who you were
Moving towards the next one
The chill was the end of the sunshine
But the colors were the hope of our differences
Until the flat carpet of memory told me so
You just lived a life
But it’s not over
You just became a human being

The ice is cracking all around, melting,
raising up a new sound; a crime against
nature even as we change the arc of
history, not of man but instead in the
ability of irony to command free thinkers
to abdicate their future because they
trust that sufficient caution will never die

A theory so easily spoken; but a pragmatic
not so easily breached, because we stand,
incarcerated by our resentments, regrets
and the life we built around us to wall off
our injured minds from those who could
exploit us in the pretense of our healing

What is sanity when those who deny belief
and those who believe in what others deny
both stand accused of denying reality; the
psychology of every experience elevates us
from the natural to the personality of reason
yet where is the desire to evolve further
than the plunder from which we came?

I walked through every level that supposed
itself to be necessary to extract sorrow if
not by direct application then by witness
of my neighbors bleeding life, but it was
your love that washed ashore where the
sand was grains of glass that had become
only questions of purpose

His arrogance
knew no boundary for enthusiasm
He had done things
for which only God would punish
And ignored things
for which he would never pay
The song, written,
only to be heard generations later
Waiting for anyone,
able to choose their conscience
Sitting, on top of darkness,
morning light breathing slowly
Is this the final day
to live for a moment without regard
For what use, tomorrow
yesterday, vengeance unrequited
Who will remember
the ancestor of suffering, giving it life
The angry one, though
his freedom rode no underground train
Instead strengthened
by the roar of the tide turning again
For those who walk,
crossing land untouched by soiled feet
The path towards the sun
where the agony of forgiveness will set
Quietly waiting its turn
for God to tell them, I know you

I’m just trying to tell
If you’re waiting for me
We had a drink once
but time wasn’t ready
Things have changed
I wonder if you’re alone
You always seem so strong
Like your heart has a home

I wanted to see the water run
but it was dry to the bone
When I think back on that day
I remember the color of stone
But it was something strong
laying side by side of each other
I wonder if that’s how we are
hard hearts waiting for the water

All it takes is bravery to ask
I just want to see you again
You showed me your smile once
I thought I’d made a new friend
But what we all want is more
and we’re afraid of chance
The dead weight of the past
floated by with our last romance

The thing is I emptied the river
It’s too fast to get too deep
It’s better to leave something
shallow enough for you to sleep
I have to be able to see you
and not expect you to drown
If only you would think of me
when the sun goes down

It’s not coming from my eyes
It’s better for the rain to slay
The feelings that dare to swim
To keep them with me always
Not so they can begin again
But to color the things I say
Because it’s my life
And I’m not going to run away

I would wait a thousand nights
Just so you can believe, but you know
Even the sea takes back every wave
The distance is in how we grieve
It’s safer under dark skies
Than inside a dark cave
Lost in a world someone created
It’s better never to enter, only leave

I know what want from me
Looking glass eyes that understand
While my breath is the moon tide
Pushing my hands around your waist
The smile that you summon
Would leave that dark place
And by the morning of the day you see
The dark walls became light by your hand

It's time to follow my smile
It’s been trying to talk to me
But I wouldn’t listen
I’m not selling fantasy
I’m not buying love
All I need is what I’ve been missin’

It's time to follow your smile
It’s been trying to talk to you
But you wouldn’t listen
You’re not one night
You’re a lifetime
All you need is what you’ve been given’

We don’t know why we smile
It’s better not to ask
What angels say about us
Are the rumors God must unmask

It's time to follow our smiles
They’ve been trying to talk to us
But we wouldn’t listen
We’re not going to regret
We’re not going to forget
All we need is to start livin’

We don’t know why we smile
It’s better not to ask
What God wants from us
Is the only thing that will last

We couldn’t be the first
Somebody else got all of that
We wanted to be the last
But I’m the next to last now
A soul washed away on a beach

I thought we were chosen
But the tide was too high
Now somebody else walks
Putting a trail upon your heart
But is it still soft or made of stone?

What drove me to this point
I could only flex my cheeks
I could look at her like that
And she knew I meant it
Whatever it was I was feeling

The breath I held inside
You never did see all of it
Still what you felt was loud
The breath you could hear
Outrageous virtuosity of lust

You wanted to take care of somebody
But I had to take care of you
You couldn’t pull yourself together
Still, it was so easy to love you
I was holding a diamond in place

Nobody had to teach me to love you
I didn’t have to talk to my mom
You looked at me a certain way
And I just knew what to do with you
The science of love was already art

We developed our own sound
It was us without influence or past
Even strangers tried to chill with us
I felt like my hair was always wild
No matter how old, I was young

You can’t find that with just anyone
Any pretty girl can catch my eye
But I don’t move too fast anymore
I want to know what you’re about
And if you like to talk harmonics

Can you sit on a bench at the beach
Just to talk for a couple of hours
Not worried if it’s going anywhere
Just talking about anything really
Watching seagulls laugh at our nerves

It's really that easy when it's true
Nothing complicated; a breeze
But nature doesn't have to explain itself
To be the last fire in a forest that's ready
You can burn me down if you want that

I was death
Flying high beyond mere existence
For what was my life other than suffering
Until I saw a rainbow form from my dark clouds
For what *** of gold could my soul live without
That a perfect circle would never conceal?

My love
Until I walked upon the shore
I never knew I'd come home
For the light I saw
Beckoned
And it told me what to do
And when I came upon you
I turned once more to the sea
And the light upon the waters was no more
As it was now shining only upon me

And the heart that held your ear close
Tried to tell you of my past
But you said I was good because I wanted love
There was no vision that I could see
Except the pain you accepted from me
You knew I had long drifted
By the way I stared back at the sea

The ways of a goodbye is to linger
And the way of love is to wait until I am ready

He was always looking out for the girl
He'd shield her from winter winds
And the loneliness that followed her everywhere

She liked the way he smiled when he talked
He had a friendly heart
He knew when to let go and when to care

They didn't ask each other questions
The decided to take it slow
They preferred the shade over the glare

He thought about her all the time
He knew what she wanted
It was just time the he wanted to share

There was a time he'd sweep her off her feet
Now he was afraid of his own desires
Was it her or just her beautiful hair?

She knew he wanted to settle down
He just didn't know how
It was his heart she had to repair

Believing only if it saves himself
That is how a man must learn

To find a gentle heart
He looks to others
For his is too heavy to bear
And too troubled to forgive

Not believing in the pain in others
But only in themselves
Believing that another man should not be afraid
While harboring their own fears in the dark
Not believing a man has a breaking point
But knowing they are near to their own

Dreaming then becoming
Surviving then regretting
But should you remember or forget
Having been controlled by everyone
It was their dream after all this time
And not your own

But that a glacier would never melt
Or that a mountain never explode again
The life we live is not long enough for truth
Only for hope and faith

Once they spoke in the dark
Their faces shining by flickering candle light
Still they knew their purpose
And it was not to question the light
But instead to live by it

From so long ago we have read
Was it revealed to man by God
But what have I known of this

Was it because they were so close to living like animals?

But what is deeper or greater in belief
What a man receives for life
Or dreams to save him from himself?

i want to love
but not just you
i want to love freedom
and taste of its fruit

but for those who cannot
by either the law
or by another man's hand
love is all they have

yet it must share its place
with hate and bitterness
and what is love
that cannot live freely
in the heart, unbound
on the land, unchanged?

it is not love at all
it is something else
that cannot wait
for tomorrow
or for heaven

for if today is life
and freedom is not
then it is no life at all

it is only death

I saw the stars,
and thought foolishly once again

I asked for so many things;
things I thought were out of reach,
but near to them

I finally realized,
they were asking me all along;
for they were as distant to me
as I to them;
and the things we needed;
from each other
were the things you can find;
from a friend

i wanted to be calm, reborn
like still waters
of a sleepy country pond
before the dawn
even as an eagle, reaching
scratches the surface
suspicious of the life he sees
in his own reflection

i clung to the warm covers
not to sleep
but because dread, watered
by life
disturbing what had been planted
so deep
my blood, pushed and pulled
by futility
rearranging the space, where
it was lodged
as i could only hope to isolate myself
next to chosen memory

allow me to walk this earth
in the new
awakening each time i face
sorrows of old
to declare the future i desire
for myself
to comfort those who believe
in me
without expectation of reward
only the blessing
that strong i walk, no matter
the currents i cross
powerful in belief and resolve
to know purpose
and to calm the waters that ripple
of reflections of itself

i could walk the way across the wire
and tell you I understand
but we both know I really don't, so
i will instead be myself;
there is no greater feat for a human
than to overcome himself
to tell his own kind they are wrong
and not pretend he is good;
the fear of heights is the fear of truth;
to say you cannot look down
but that you will watch while they do,
does not comfort them;
what is right except to be human,
to treat you the same
if you are wrong or if you are right;
the words I choose
will be the ones i speak to a man;
no tears no pity,
only the words that my soul believes,
so you know what I know
that my feet are too small for my shoes,
the ones God gave me;
and how many pairs must I try today
until i can wear yours;
can I instead never be a loud goodbye
and speak only soft hellos
can i instead never pretend to know,
except that i do my friend;
i do even though my dreams do not,
life for them goes on;
the tears that flood my nights are truth;
i know they are only for me
for that is the reality of the oppression
and of the protest;
they know you have too much to lose
until you no longer do,
but will your children understand why
cost is greater than comfort,
that childhood is still a dream away;
but they will soon know
that those who came before them
gave them more than life;
they gave them a cross of deliverance
for heaven is still the same

She fell in love with the wrong guy
He said she was all he had
Two rights made a wrong this time
Now the right guy doesn’t seem so bad

They just wanted to have fun
The world was something to ignore
She thought he was so different
Now he’s got more problems than before

It’s up to her
It’s up to her
She asked for help
Then she said she loved him
That’s a personal problem
She picked a boy
Now she needs a man

He said a lot of things that sounded smart
He made her laugh and was a dreamer
She finally noticed it was just talking in his sleep
Now she knows why some promises can’t remember

Sometimes it takes a woman to grow a boy up
She thought he was exactly what she dreamed
He built her a safe place against the world
Now the wall isn't exactly what it seemed

It’s up to her
It’s up to her
She’s too young
He’s too lost
That’s a personal problem
She picked a boy
He’s not yet a man

The birds and the breezes of a moment
Like so many people I came to know
Living long enough in my sight for love
But leaving without planting seeds that grow

Flags at half-mast from a grateful nation
I thought the same of a long lost friend
There is more than one who knew me well
But without a goodbye my past left with them

We’ve kissed so many people without thought
We remember now how it hurts so much
All that remains are the vacations you loved
You rescued them from the ruins of his touch

All of your feelings are ready to cope  
You like the view but the distance is better
We really feel these things the same way
I can prove it if only you would come closer

you took the pill
and main street
became the bottom of the ocean
red lights at a corner
paint or blood?
is this love baby
huh
don't ask
the hair on you arms
braiding the wind
while she tells you
huh
baby
it is
it is what?
what you asked
i'm not a red light
do it
do it
don't worry about my mother
i'm not
your smile
your hands
soft
you
music
jazz
tone
smooth
the sun
the moon
nature
soothe
love
close
touch
desperation
******
don't speak
i understand
tell me later
or just smile again
wait
who's driving this limo
and how did these fish get in here
the bubbles died before i did
who said anything about bubbles
shut up
what happened to my shoes
eyes on my shirt
all the better to see you with
it's not my baby
ok it is
it's was me anyway
that sofa was god
i'm still going to wear my hat
did you have any interest in my  hair
who was she
i'm up still
i'm not going to say no
but let me make sure you're not a snake
or wait
snakes only talk to women
maybe that was too bold a thing to say
i'm no longer drowning
looking up
i'm fazed
no mirrors
layers of water
even heat
let me cool myself off
butterfly wings
monarchs
thousands
but they can't swim
dreams will do that
confusion
i'll sort it out when i wake up
who are you anyway
you're beautiful
did you do that to me
or was it just the pill?

I require no suggestion from Satan to be wrong
or to hurt someone; there is no one or anything
so shallow in my life that I would seek blame in
the underworld

I seem to be looking for the instructions in dark
places because words of wisdom are unneeded
in the light when a smile cleanses my mind of
all doubt

It is so that I cannot see what I must know
when I need it most because true darkness
does not provide a beautiful warning of
it’s approach or leaving

It seems we must walk with an arrow broken
off inside of us; the bleeding has stopped but
the lesson learned and the memory is always
at hand

I’ve been summoned by life more times than
I can count but each time it was only to remind
that I have more time; for every worry, I received
forgiveness

Was it the lies that I told or the one’s that I
believed as I searched that determined my place;
to live remembering the love of a friend as I watch
them begin to love someone else

i write not to remember
what you will never forget
i think thoughts to forget
that you will always remember
we had moments to remember
that we will never forget
we will try to forget
what we will always remember

have I tried so hard to see
that I've blinded myself
i'm not fighting the past
but that's not true
i can't remember what it was
yes, that's what I tell myself

i can still smile brightly
i surprise myself sometimes
where did that come from
then i become angry
why should i question myself
when i am happy?

there is so much good
that's what i want to see
i should have said to be
to be what it is i want to see
peace and your smile
that's what you gave to me  

soon what is true will be true
it should be more than a dream
but the water hole awaits
the moon makes no shadow
if you will let it happen to you
then you can show me how

How it must feel to know
It’s as if my words aren’t real
My skin is peeling but the blood won’t leave
I’m hiding in the sunshine for something I can’t steal

I keep telling you, but I know, I know
The words fade because you chose the distance
I thought about the hand you always play
It reminded me you’d gamble away your existence

I don’t mind
I don’t mind being strong
Or being so weak
I need love
But I won’t die
If you think our love is wrong

What did you think when I called
Did you like the fact that it was your choice
Or was it that you know this is the only time
That you could really hear love in my voice?

How it must feel to go
It’s as if I am no longer real
Your skin crawls with bumps you try to ignore
You heart still knows how it is that I make you feel

I don’t mind
I don’t mind being strong
Or being so weak
I need love
But I won’t die
If you think our love is wrong