I have never liked the term

      "sloppy seconds"
                  
                  I believe that we renew ourselves with each love

I found myself by losing you. My heart doesn't stop cause we're not together anymore. Losing you was the worst thing that happened to me, but at the same time it was the beginning of a journey of finding who I really was. All these past years of searching who I was I found it when I lost you. I had to learn to live without you and start living for me. I don't need anyone but myself. I might have lost you, but in the process I found myself.

As a toddler I learned the right from wrong. "But not love".
   As a a child I learned, my abc's." But not love".
In my teens I learned how to lie,drink and steal." But not love."
As an adult I learned responsibility." But not love."
Now that Im much older I learned how to love..
I found god.
And now "I feel loved".....

An educated man, yet he was a fool
He put drugs in his body and let it rule.
He started off slowly with just some ***
He enjoyed the high and would not stop.

He then decided to try *******
This was the turning point and what a shame
Everyone was talking about free basing and crack
Once he did that there was no turning back

He became the street poet - for all to see
The poetry he spoke, he spoke beautifully.
Words flowed thru his mind
Like a smooth river of rhyme.

He spoke of days of old when knights were bold
Of wars and loves of histories past
And he knew that this would not last.
His dabbing in drugs was destroying his life
He lost his friends, his family
His children and wife.

And as he stood on the corner that day
Across from him a church a bit away.
He walked over to it not knowing
What to expect, worse than this it could not get.

He walked inside and began to pray
“ help me LORD for I’ve gone astray
Put me on the path of light
Help me to make this wrong a right.
Give me the strength to stop all of this
For the things I had I truly miss.

His chest started to swell up inside
He fell to his knees and began to cry
He felt someone touch his head
And these words was simply said:
Help yourself and I will help you
Put faith and love in your heart
Is all you have to do.

He stopped his crying and turned around
No one was there to be found.
He committed himself to the hospital
That day, and from then on
He did not stray.

Now he preaches in a store front church
And with GOD sits high on a perch.
There is nothing that can bring him down
For CHRIST  he has found.

Denying stigma of bided truth
You're still breathing, this is proof
Stagnant lies with poignant breaths
You chose this fate
You created this mess

Denying truth will only make you bided
No matter how fluctuated life is
Circles of contempt will never end

Rotating to the eminent truth
You'll be stuck in this loop hole
Repetitions of remorse will tire you out
It's never too late if you just shout

Shout for forgiveness
Shout for compassion
The fallen you condemned
The innocent you slaughtered

The devil always waiting by the gate
The time when the angels die
That's when you realized it's too late

I can smell him on my sheets
      I can taste him in my dreams
             I can still feel every inch where he's touched me
I hear his laughter echoing in the walls
             I can still see him in all these pictures I saved for
           memories

But this bed is bare
My dream's a nightmare
       I can't hear
             His laughter
       He's not near
             Enough to touch
My eyes are blinded by tears
He's killed my senses,  
      I'm no longer aware

Everything around me,  slowly fading away
His face, his scent, his laughter,  his touch
Maybe I'll just pop a few pills and sleep away the day
At least he's in my nightmares, the pain of reality is too much