why can I not speak my mind
and why can my mouth not process
the words that flow effortlessly
in the poetry I write

and tonight.
I want to ignite a change
in my current life
find a way
to show everyone
what I might
and maybe
oh maybe
they'll want to venture
into my mind.

but oooooooh
so risky
and oooooooh
so dangerous

only the curiosity will lead
and all of their other needs
will stray behind like a shedding cat

multiple layers they'll uncover
the ones that are beautiful
have beautiful pictures and videos
well then theres the ones with devil like people
who take control of whom ever they get their grimy hands over

my mind hides all my inner knowledge
It inhabits my thoughts so they cannot be shared
why
though
why?
I have a plethora of ideas
just hidden behind an untouched
curtain
because
I don't have an answer
you'd expect me to
but I don't.

to all of this madness-

is there something I can do?

you've...

messed up.
yet again.

you cannot reverse time
so I hope you feel ashamed
the actions you've committed
the lies you've held to your grave

no sorry can solve
this heavenly burden

unless you fix
this problem
with your god given hands

be strong
be brave
you got yourself into this mess
find your way out

if you get lost
resort for some help

whoever said help was a sign of weakness
better get their ducks in a row
because I'll have you know
weakness is a sign of strength on your way
so never give up
never look back
never shed a tear
because there are people

**who got your back!

when you think-
you have no time to relax
is when you need to.

sit back
let everything else
take care of itself

because it's your life
you're in control
you
are the ruler

so take a stand
relax
and keep moving forward

Happiness is uncontrollable
and when it occurs
you will automatically know, know

here is the setting:
in a church choir
everybody smiling with such desire

but when the chorus hit
I couldn't handle it!
The beats and rhythm
even the tune!

first a smile sprouts on my face
then progressively changing
into a large grin
almost laughing
and then laughing

I pinched myself
to remember people were watching
but It wasn't working..

I thought about death
maybe that would make me depressed
but the chorus came again

and I knew
I couldn't hold it in!

like a rose
trampled on the ground
a beautiful delicacy
that has been ignored
not yet found
like a rose
vibrant in all ways
full of potential
who lives its own kind of way
like a rose*
we are all like a rose

A picture can paint a thousand words
To me
*A word can paint a thousand pictures

Explain your mind
The thoughts that sink you
Into an ocean of depression

Explain your legs
That are powerless
Staying in one place

Explain your arms
Weakness that they carry
Seemingly pointless

Explain your smile
Explain it
Explain it now
Now
Explain
Explain
Seriously

How are you still looking up?
Smiling?

What I want you to do
Explain yourself.

do my expectations not phase a single person?
extremely carefully
I pick the proper picture
edit it with some pixie dust
and it's off
it is now the portrayers duty
to determine their thoughts upon my looks
heaven nows what they think
not a like in the first 5
yet the agony of knowing someones online
1 notification
let's see who it may be
just my uncle
have he no shame?
waiting impatiently
I've went to my witts
created a whole nother account
just to like the masterpiece
call me crazy
that would be an accurate depiction
but I'm sure you'd agree
being loved
is better than anything
so..
if you don't mind me asking..
would you like my profile picture?

My brother had always corrected me on my faults
and I'd go off on a tantrum
of course
because I was young
but the kicker is
at school
when the same issue or topic was skewed
I would fight back
saying exactly
the words my brother
had used.
hmmm...
That leads me to believe
I really look up to my brother
more than he can see
that in the back of my head
I knew he was right
I just wanted to initiate a fight.

I love you Ty Ty <3

the sound of a smell
the feeling of a sight
the weirdness I feel
has never felt so right
typical human qualities
drive me insane
it's those ones
that get the human brain
it just doesn't flow
well I don't have flow
I have a different kind of mojo
one that is distinct
everybody recognizes me for
the one that gets overlooked
and people don't quite look for
in a race I come in last
just to embrace
the flow of the wind brushing past
yes
you have come to realize
I care more
**for the meaningless things

In a world where creativity is put first

no ranks

no grades

because how can you judge a human race

on if they made a certain grade

when we cannot even explain

the trueness of the big bang

oh, intelligence is fine

but I think it's not right

since we all come from a different whom

and are still expected to be advanced at school

school should become extinct

we have our brains still to think

no test is bigger than life

so maybe we should start *studying

when you stare at the same thing
it tends to get boring
rather mundane

so my question to you:
do all pretty girls look the same?

symmetrically perfect
in every which way
flawless and gorgeous
no showing of disdain

the only separation

is maybe a switch in eye
a larger hip or thigh?

but those imperfect girls
they have got something most people despise
they have a difference.

but those differences are mighty and big
they make a twig or a pebble
a stick or a boulder

they portray a beautiful masterpiece
that you are fortunate to not have to pay to see
they interest the eye

and you wonder why

why were they ignored all of these years
left in the dust
expecting them to feel love
when no one sends it their way

you'd think in life
we'd be able to do anything
and not let emotions get in the way
...........................................................
s­adness
crying every night
watching the latest soap operas
and you think you might die
anxiety
for that upcoming test
you try to study
but your brain feels like a huge mess
fear
a shark in the water
biting at your feet
hearing this
you may not be able to sleep
anger
you get so mad
you may blow up
and bite off somebodies head

I sat there with friends
admiring cute couples
wishing that could be me

and in barely a minute
I feel a tap on my shoulder
I wonder who it could be?

I realized it was a boy
with a bright yellow sweater
how did he know, that that was my favorite color?

he said
I saw you from across the room
and wanted to say that you are really pretty

I thought my ears were lying
I was so shy
I didn’t even want to look him in the eye

thank you
I said so timidly
it felt like a dream

he started throwing off some cheesy pickup lines
I thought they were adorable
and he seemed so confident

he had major guts
for doing what he did
and I will always remember the day
that he and his heart

came <3

is the reason so many people are blue
because the sky is casting down on us
and the rare times that we are happy
the sun is breaking through
breaking through the struggles
life's hardships
that one huge sun, but oh so small compared to the sky
can make a beautiful day just by perseverance
we owe it to the sun for being our example
*one to look up to

him.
the fire that was once burning so explosively
giving up days after ratchet days to kindle it
him.
It let off so much warmth in my heart
kept me cozy on days of doubt
him.
was unselfish
caring to all
him.
could easily be gone
if I didn't tend it just right
him.*
flaring in extraordinary ways
looked like a devil in an angel kind of way
him.
him.
reminds me of a fire.

Flailing my arms
Tapping my feet
Licking my lips
Attempting any distraction
For you to notice me once.
It's not easy though
I walk by so slow
To maybe get a second look
But all of this has grown us farther apart
We are gliding apart into the distant stars

I am no longer functioning
a machine that is now broken
in which used to create works of art
that now has grown dusty and
has an out of order sign taped to the front
someone who has lost their parts
and is now in search of
finer
more effective parts
it seems like most people are in need as well
but where oh where
are the spares?
surely someone can help
this world is bigger than we first thought
so maybe they've got something I need
I am leaning on the greed
of my needs
not want ya hear
I need
I went to the mechanic the other day
he says we ain't go no room for the lame
the kids who live with shame
on a day to day basis
he says I belong
in an insane asylum
contained of young fools
but him bringing me down
will never turn me around

~machine

the wicked sound of the trees brushing past
the raindrops that would have races down their unforgiven paths
the smell of gasoline because my dad was cheap
the radio on alternative again for all to hear
the long talks about life and weather
made me feel I could stay in there forever

the car rides with my dad

this was a fateful day however
it seemed like we were driving forever
when we curved out of place
and took up someday else's space
Halt we came to an abrupt stop
colliding ends with a truck

I panicked inside
at the same time-
the air bags released
and I could barely breath!

my stomach felt like churning butter
my eyes only fluttered
my dad asked: are you okay?

I said a simple yes
I didn't feel like elaborating
on this tremendous experience.

he wiped his brow
grabbed his glasses
they were broken now
shattered into pieces like grands of molasses  

the police arrived
as I stood there stuttering

this was all surreal .

my dad was furious
though he held it in very well
on account we just bought the car
and now it looks like a piece of tar

he looked me square in the eyes and said

**"honey...I'm just glad we are alive!"

color me happy
paint me with a smile
and create me with some style
package me up
with care, and love
and send me away
to a place not so grey
where children laugh
adults show respect
and everyones relaxed...
I'm not asking for perfection
no
I'm asking for affection.

her head was up in space
caught on the milky way
wanting to come back down to earth
trying to find a way
but everything was a blur
signs pointing that a way
and the other
just confused her more
wondering why life hurts
why does this always happen to her
maybe she deserved this pain
it was the only way
to prove a point
that she needs to make a change
a better way
a better life for her
it's time she realized
that time is her only alibi
that sometimes you need to cry
to make it by
you don't always have to be strong
you are not king kong
so you can always remember
life moves on
the train wont leave without you
the airplane wont take off
you are that missing puzzle piece
to that challenging jig saw.

arrange yourselves into groups of two
that's when I first met you.

"hello. nobody is left, can I be with you?"
I nodded hesitantly
"do you know what we are doing?"
he asked in a daze
"I have no clue"
he finally sat down
his curly blonde locks plopped on his shoulders
"well we should probably find out."
I scavenged through the book
trying to get a closer look
I read in between the lines
still trying to find

the answer.
that answer meant so much to me
I don't know why
why could it?

"I think we are recognizing fruit flies from the typical kind."

"oh my." he smiled
I didn't even have to force a smile
'"this'll be fun"
I read his lips carefully

"I think so too."

<3

a forceful shut
and she was gone
couldn't take the *******
so she was done
people annoyed her
crossed over her line
they didn't think twice
never cared any time
why try
when all you do when you get home
is sit and cry
wondering if their lives
are sparkling like dimes
is god really fair
betchya' he doesn't even care
because why would he be so unFAIR?

the air was thick
clouds of anxiety filled their lungs
whatever's going to happen
can never be undone
he took a deep breath in
and exhaled while letting his words fall out
I'm sorry babe
but I think we're done
the whole room went numb
not a word she spoke
not a move did she make
it was a horrible heart break
his eyes were blazing with fear and sadness
but all she saw
was anger and gladness
she couldn't accept his feelings
when hers were peeling
peeling from the walls he once painted
her eyes shifted away
and started to exit
while she heard him sniffle
she thought good heavens
she slammed the door hard
and that was all...

I'll tell you your life is perfect
like you
but I can't because that is not true
your life is a beautiful imperfection
that stands true to only you

From me to you I tell you,
if you make the most out of your life
everything else will come naturally
and over time
you will also see what is truly meant to be

remember to throw your hair across your shoulders
lay your arms strong against your body
grab a mirror
and say
I can be a somebody!

A thin line
is what separates our kind
from normal.

A different thought
is what confuses the masses
and we leave them behind

we keep moving forward
in extraordinary ways
proving that everyone was wrong
and we know that we truly do belong

Our techniques and logics
are very exotic
the patterns that we create
are not mistakes
and that we are willing to take
any adventure that life throws our way

New achievements are unlocked
when we don't follow the flock

New happiness is found
when we stand our ground

New gratitude is captured
when we thank our life chapter

life has never been the same
ever since we came

Don't let your insides die
help them survive

we all can think in extraordinary ways
it's only gonna happen
if you wanna be more than Okay

oh sorry
don't let the flames burn you
for all the ***** deeds you've done in your life
oops, not again
shouldn't of let the dragons out
they are hungry for flesh
come this way
here's where we'll lay you to rest
no food no air
nothing there
but the regrets you hold
the lies you've told
let me know if you need anything
and oh yeah
welcome to **Hell!

A thousand years have passed
and I still remember our first dance
under the blue and grey disco lights

you stood there holding me, ever so tight
like everything was perfect
and just right

you didn't dance very well
but that isn't relevant
because I know your heart was present

every step you took
was like a walk on the moon
so historical
so memorial

A thousand years have passed
and I still remember that dance <3

Crystal eye
circular ear
sharp edged nose
grinned mouth

what do we perceive as the perfect human
because we all have different concepts of "perfect"
we all like different aspects about humans.
that's why we fall for certain people
and don't know why.

"It's not my fault."
Well that's actually right.
It's a series of generations
that have changed your life!

babies cry when they are unleashed from the cage they lived in
they roar so loud
for the attention that they so need
has anyone ever questioned though
what lies underneath?
all of the happiness
all of the sadness
the tremendous weeks

here you go.

a vivid light shines above my head
is there food coming
finally something to eat?
a sudden rush of Coca-Cola pours through this gigantic hole
cough cough  
I choke on the coca-cola
"momma's got to warn me when it's coming"

It's so boring being alone in here
I guess I can jump up and down
turn all around

Momma's voice motivates me
to keep jumping
doin' back flips
and ninja kicks

I hear faint voices of my mommy telling someone to massage her belly
"oh no!"
This hurts so badly

when am I DUE
Cuz I am THROUGH

With this torture!

freckles*
Did you know that a face without freckles, is like the sky without the stars?*
It is a beautiful imperfection
that no one could hold an objection
so be proud of your face
because you can only erase mistakes

Kiss me
kiss me now
kiss me forever in the moonlight
kiss me wherever it feels right
just kiss me