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1.5k · May 2022
Dad
Jordan Costigan May 2022
Dad
My dear Father...
The **** do I say? Such a way with words, as those cracked records claim.

You thought so too though, you always did say, but how are there words for a heart torn away? A soul ripped in half and this gut wrenching pain?

How you were a hero - I've heard so many say,
You taught, you motivated,
You wiped tears away. You existed to spread love - yet felt unworthy to claim.

The demons you fought
your silence so dark,
They'd never let you see,
Just how loved you are...

True.
Deep.
Unique love.
Each one of us precious, In the Michaelest ways.

You suffered so deeply,
And what scares me the most,
That though we all suffer, you were my stone.

Our heads have such darkness, a uniqueness WE shared. Though all heads have shadows,
Ours was a PAIR

You've helped me through so much,
I couldn't describe. Your wisdom, a sculptur, has guided my life. My biggest regret, you'd never accept, that you were a catalyst, that helped me to live.

You taught me so much,
you've held me in strife,
Sitting right with me, endless yarns about life.
Or virtually advising, from far distance lands.
But the space never mattered.
Your love had no span.

I wish you could've seen, and accepted inside,
You were so special, cherished, and kind - My Godlike of a guide, and when the world caved in, I sought YOU for advice. No one will ever understand me like you. What peace I can find comes from the Truth - that our yarns WILL continue, sometime I know soon.

Your wisdom and beauty, your insights to life, you've gifted me so much, I'll cherish inside. Our bond can't be altered, I know that, not ever, for good or for bad, I am you - forever.
This one is a lot more personal and less poetic in my opinion
975 · May 2022
Sunrise
Jordan Costigan May 2022
If time heals all wounds — I have petrified

turned to stone

can't decompose

As the night sky blooms
one by one
I watch the stars -
blossom

The earth is
jealous; I’m sinking in
I belong with
them
      the other hardened things

Dear Death, hand in
hand
you've walked me too long —
now so heavy
rotting pain
solidified

I'll watch
on this sandy dune. The
night lights sparkle
only for me; bloom in their heavenly
beauty

And as the sky is set alight - and our own star rises -
may it shine a
broken body
           Lifeless
                   if not from a warm
                            embrace

My hands
catch on the wind
drift
adding to a new dune
over yonder.
I'll smile, and the earth welcomes me - Home.
943 · May 2018
Night Market
Jordan Costigan May 2018
Soft thudding
bare feet leading astray.
“Nǐ hǎo” wave children, continue to play.
Alive! Life! Pulse of the night –
The Heart of Asia, a magnificent sight!

Engulfed by mountains
surrounding seas.
Tantalising fragrances
dance with a breeze.

This foreign land
surreal in a way
an expression of beauty!
A longing to stay.
Jordan Costigan Aug 2016
Faintest of whispers dance with the subconscious.
Invisible strings manipulate limbs.
They believe they act on their own...

The sweetest gift is presented in silk. Bursting with rose-tinted malice.

The gift received a thousand times -
Welcomed with open arms.

Pleasing to every conceivable sense,
A shroud silently falls again.

The mistake will be realised, but not for a time.
Not simply a trick of the mind.

This powerful thing! A beautiful King.
Soon,
will meet his demise.


© Jordan Costigan.
623 · Apr 2016
The Black Dog
Jordan Costigan Apr 2016
How innocent. First thoughts like a child’s simplicity of mind.

Momentarily there is freedom.

Mere seconds this time. Freedom nonetheless.

There is something in the corner.

Looming.

Controlling.

Somehow forgotten in the ignorance of slumber. Suffocating memories slip through the cracks of a fragile mind.

Conscious to a stomach now twisting with knots. Flittering and fluttering of delicate wings.

Tendrils of blackness penetrate. Clinging to every fiber of being.

Carefully step into your refined façade.

Smile when necessary. Laugh when appropriate.

How are you?

Are you okay?

So easy it is to believe your own white lies.


© Jordan Costigan
472 · May 2016
10 Verden Close
Jordan Costigan May 2016
Down the hill traversed so often
a well-known tree, though sometimes more.
Lacklustre to those who couldn’t know better.
Small. Simple. Secluded.

Oozing with possibility, endless realities.
This place is rich with significance.
Subtleties of every nook and cranny,
Familiar to me like the back of my hand.

No knock as I enter, though this isn’t my home.
Welcomed as one of their own.
United again my accomplice and friend
Ever ready to pick up where we left.

How can there be any care in the world?
When this world adapts to our will.
This place is for us and always will be.
For now, at least it would seem.

10 years on still sharp in my mind
how important a dull place can be.
Nostalgia, not always a comforting thing,
10 Verden Close – the last time I was free.


© Jordan Costigan
408 · May 2018
Body
Jordan Costigan May 2018
Body

In my body
where it dwells,
darkness foggy
mustn't tell.

It escapes;
as salty drops
All controlling -
will it stop?

In my body,
there’s someone else
Deep inside -
I hate myself.

To this master
I bow down
This disaster,
forever bound.

This broken body
one day I’ll leave
My own hand?
Time will see...
283 · May 2016
In Your Time of Need
Jordan Costigan May 2016
Rock hard butter rips holes in my toast.
Her hands do this flawlessly – but not today.

Beneath a mound of blankets, she lays
Completely still, though not asleep.

A smile crosses her lips, riddled with affliction
Thanks, but I’m not hungry, another day the same response.

Soon you’ll be a super mum –
Though right now it’s alright to be weak.

Until she is both father and mum –
I will keep her on her feet.

Now wipe your eyes and sit up please.
I won’t leave ‘til you eat.

A silent nod sends tears down her cheek –
Without you mum, there is no me.


© Jordan Costigan
90 · Apr 2020
Salted Wounds
Jordan Costigan Apr 2020
Why run?
Scream.
Abuse.
Cry.

A fool believed escape was nigh.

I love this stuff,
my dead insides.
Come on in, there’s death to find.

These vices are the pain and I,
need them to see -
sane of eye

Followed always,
steps behind.
Darkness... shadow...
reflective shine.

Stealthy...
Mr. Creeper - ready to pounce
Runs up behind, rose in his mouth.

Down on one knee, a dangling hand.
The prince, charming;
a puppet to dance.

Melodies play -
a hypnotised sway.
Lost in a second.
Missing for days.

The puppet that dances -
a miniature he.
Impossible.
Surely.
Who will believe?

The puppeteers eyes -
mine that I see.
I am the puppet,
I’m dancing; me.

Jester to most,
jailor for some.
Narcotically dancing,
self-loathings thrum.

Is this how it is?
Is this who I’ll be?
Masochistic approach -
naught to appease.
73 · Jan 2020
Bloom
Jordan Costigan Jan 2020
It’s time.
Quite peacefully,
Lay myself, down to sleep

My skin and bones,
feed the trees.
In the spring, bloom beautifully

With the flowers,
remember me.
To them I leave my memory

Maybe then I’ll finally
leave,
this deep abyss, this
Drowning sea.

To the endless quiet -
sleep.
Peace.
Eternally.

But if I wake,
to those above.
Their warmth,
redeeming love.

I pray they’ll have forgiven me,
for sleeping - prematurely.

— The End —