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 Apr 2016 John B
Kaitlin Collide
You hurt me
I want to **** myself
I want to hurt myself
But I wont

I will run harder
Run faster
Worker Harder
Fight through this

This hurts
But I'll burn you like fuel
This hurts
But you're a ******* fool

This is getting too emotional for me?
I'm not going to ignore the fact
that you might be getting emotional too

Tonight I cry
Someday we'll die
Tonight I pry
But you're just some guy

I've got friends, I've got family
And there's no way I'm the only
Girl who's crying in State College
Over a freaking stepping stone
 Apr 2016 John B
Kaitlin Collide
The world
it overwhelms me
and i figured out the cause

point to something
and I'll tell you why it is SO beautiful
ANYTHING
give me a situation

I figured it out
Why I over think over think
because everything is beautiful
and GOD it keeps my mind running
I want to look at it longer
and I want to elaborate on it in my head
forever.
 Apr 2016 John B
Kaitlin Collide
69
 Apr 2016 John B
Kaitlin Collide
69
Out of all the people who fell in love and stayed in love/
I want to find the one who wrote the saddest love song/
I want to talk to them/
I want to befriend them/
I want hope.

I want to quit feeling destroyed..
Because right now I'm a blender and love's been a blade/
I want to find the deepest lover with the most healed heart/
I need to know that I'll be okay.
 Apr 2016 John B
Kaitlin Collide
I touched a flower in my pocket..
Picked it up, and promptly dropped it.
It's bulbous, squishy, and it's sopping.
I was afraid of what it was.

I took a closer look at its mutant colors;
Squinted at it for a second 'nother.
It felt like death, it felt like butter;
'Twas merely the head of a rose.

I sighed out the panic that had rushed inside me.
While sadness-stricken, serendipity survived thee.
The mere smell of that rose, nostalgic and lively
Wrapped around me and extracted my pain

Such a simple notion made such a difference.
I shall thank the friend by whom it was given;
He'll never understand the powerful significance.
That flower saved my night.
True story, true series of events
 Apr 2016 John B
Kaitlin Collide
Some people can wade and be okay
but if I enter, I know I'll stay
please don't make me promises
I know once I'm stuck you'll go away

some people are not afraid to pass through
I dip my toes in and traps me like glue
that's why I was gonna run away from you
but i look down and I'm already doomed

you see I thought that I'd tread lightly
but that concrete grips my ankles tightly
while you can easily act all flighty
your final flight will be unsightly

I'm glad you're having a splashing time with me
but i knew i shouldn't have even dipped my feet
through your back strokes and front strokes you cannot see
I'm stuck here in this liquid concrete
Inspired by a past poem of mine, "impossible girl" where I use a metaphor of liquid concrete
 Apr 2016 John B
Kaitlin Collide
Oh, hello..
I ask Motivation to ravage me
So **** and out of reach
I wonder if he’ll notice me

Hey, Motivation.
Do I look **** with this Adderall?
When I dress like an adult?
When I spread my books wide open?

When I arch my back right out of bed
Does it make you want me?
Motivation, get out of my head!
I’m kidding... I like it when you taunt me.

When I think of you
I salivate
Look out my window,
watch you all day
You look so ****
that special way
You work those other students.

I’ll bite my lip and I’ll slowly crawl
Right to class, backpack and all
My eyes intense with innocence
Please don’t take your eyes off me.

Motivation, you know just what I like
When you make my grade point average rise
Look, Daddy-- my schedules so tight
But I still manage to squeeze in several hours to write

Oh Daddy…
Can I play with your friends?
Maturity, and Ambition?
I’m a spoiled brat but I’ll listen

Tie me up so I can’t deny you
Tell me “I’m gonna be inside you”
Please, Motivation I want to ride you
Have your friends watch…

After that, you can tell them to join in
So collegiate it must be a sin
I’m a ****** to this sort of thing
I guess I’ll take off my immaturity ring

For all you guys I’ll be so special
Fill my head with names until I go mental
Like “hardworking” and “determined”
Until I’m submissive to school and working.

Now let’s pretend
That I’m the student
I’ll call you sir,
Please don’t be prudent
Here’s my homework
Make me do it.

Mr. Motivation….

You know whats *****?
My bedroom floor.
Here I’ll  bend over
And clean it more.

My goodness, this isn’t like me!
I’m married! Don’t you see?
This is merely fantasy!
I’m incapable of priorities!

…When it’s against to whom I’m wed.

For now I’ll ride my washing machine
I’m faking that I am with thee
But this isn’t homework and my room’s not clean
I am just a bored wife of Apathy.
 Feb 2016 John B
b for short
This I resolute
Salads can't create ****.
More bounce to the ounce.
© Bitsy Sanders, January 2016
 Feb 2016 John B
b for short
“It,” not so easily defined,
catches and clouds in my throat.
Previously shot down
in a blistering passion, and riddled
with disappointment,
vague answers to important questions,
and the kind of wasted possibility
you’ve seen in a used syringe
abandoned by the park fence.
Although it may seem
wounded and unkempt,
I can feel its remaining life
writhing, wondering, and desolate.
So I let it grow, with no hope of air,
and with my eyes closed, it thrives—
sprouting fresh white plumage,
collecting its strength,
pecking, p-peck, pecking
at the back of my tongue
and ******* up my oxygen.
It’s the taste of blood
that makes me come to
before the riotous flutter of feathers
works its way
to the edge of my lips.
I watch as it lifts off, up, out, and away—
wings spread in a striking spectrum
of well-played deception.
It flies, now, fearlessly—
commandeering its own air,
and I breathe easily
knowing that it won’t die
with me.
© Bitsy Sanders, February 2016
 Feb 2016 John B
Eiliv Advena
Many poems I read seem so sad
The poems fills your eyes with tears
This doesn't mean the poems are bad
But sometimes a poem should be filled with cheer

There is so much beauty to write about
Not just lost love, fears, screams and shouts

A poem can be about
Flowers or trees
A poem can be about
Crystal blue seas

A poem can be about
a ring of smoke
Or a beautiful girl
Or about the beauty
We find in this world
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