stop apologizing
when you want to say "get bent"
stop worrying
about ruining his career
when he makes your world a living hell

stop confining yourself
to four line stanzas and iambic pentameter
**** writing for anyone else
when it is your soul that needs soothing
may your words overflow the lines that have been drawn for you

stop hanging on
to the person you once though existed
detach yourself from the veiled existence
and run the other way.
you shine too bright to let anyone dim your light

i couldn't be stopped.
rooted in struggle, aimed towards the sun,
set to defy the forces pulling me into the dirt;
i was born to grow.

I want to send you every poem I ever wrote about you
I want to reconnect and regrow our roots together
I have so many things I want to say to you
But none of them seem worth your time

None of them seem worth the inevitable frustration when you stop responding
And suddenly here I am, wanting to text you
Wanting to tell you everything
Without knowing at all what to say

beer tastes better from the glass of my enemy
water is cooler after running a mile on an august afternoon
her cold voice is sweeter now that she's gone
passion fills me after endless starving
and loving myself feels so good
after years of hating this body that I occupy

my iron reserve is steadfast.
and then
i catch a glimpse of your smile
hear the liquid candor of your true laugh
witness the sun falling on your skin,
glistening in your hair
changing your eyes from brown to hazel to green
sparking me to ashes again and again,
i fall to pieces,
and i'd fall to pieces for an eternity of that moment
with you

Seeking the warmth of your laugh on a summer day,
Waiting for you to stir in the next room over,
Listening for the chrome of your voice in the darkness,
I am met with silence.

But silence and I are old friends:
I respect her as a dynamic force of nature,
She gives me plenty of space to reflect,
Together we fill the void you left behind

If I scream at all
A tree in the woods sees but
No one will hear me

We were easy soulmates
Content with comfortable silence
Two parts of a whole
Always on the same wavelength

Now we’re on different planets
Speaking different languages
And it’s hard to say for sure but
I think I lost a piece of myself when I lost you

How can I infiltrate your soul through the lines of my notebook?
How do I seep into your mind with the ink of my pen?
I’ve been piecing you together line by line,
Searching for answers.

Sometimes I forget
That my words can be used as weapons
Until they’re already sailing toward their target
Ready to explode upon impact

I am not a flower.
You won’t find me in pastels
Bees will not pay homage to my petals in this lifetime
I do not reach softly toward the sun, greeting the day.

I am not a flower.
No one wants to plant me in a garden
Or display me in a fancy vase on the table
I will not be sold in bouquets for holidays

I am not a flower: I’m a thorn.
I exist around the edges of beautiful flowers;
Their self-proclaimed eternal protector,
Ready to excavate skin on someone else’s behalf.

the moon is crashing to the ground
like we all do when things go
from warm to cold so quickly

Open your eyes.

No, seriously, open them up:

Take a knife, slice into your cornea,

And look deep inside.
Do some ******* self-reflection for a change.

Open yourself up, darling,
To the impending reality of something new
Let it fill you;
Let the promise of the unknown warm your belly

Loosen your grip on yesterday:
Let it slip from your grasp
Make room for what’s to come
Trust in the future.

Gone are the witching hours
Late night slumber is a thing of the past
Her soul is lost somewhere in oblivion
And you are lightyears away

Cleanse your temple,
Kneel before the altar of change,
Welcome what is uncomfortable;
To move forward you must let go.