money has me so tightly wound
I'd rather be dead in the ground
I have more bills than I have cash
don't know how much longer I can last


sad to say,
I'd rather be dead today...

Here I am, drunk again
Bombay sapphire, that sweet sweet gin.
The warmth it brings, the cares that leave
Even if it's just momentarily.
I feel good!
No,
I feel GREAT.
I want to hug all of you, who think you're a mistake.
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
no matter what your past.
I promise you you're beautiful, as I sip on my newly filled glass.

Two cups of coffee,
12 AM.
Let the thinking begin.

I want to love you in ways people only dream of being loved.
I want to lift you up, make you mine, and make you nothing but happy.
I want to kiss you from head to toe, until my lips hurt.
I want to undress you, lay you down, and hold you until every bad thought you have in that beautiful mind of yours dissipates.
Then I want to make love until the sun comes up, and fall asleep intertwined in your arms and in your soul.

I want to move far away,
even just for one day.
Everyone's reality and expectation
is taking a serious toll on me.
I constantly have the mountains on my mind.
Wind in my hair, with absolutely no cares.
Money should not be able to dictate your life, yet we let it.
I just want to move far away,
tiny house,
heirloom seeds.
Growing and sustaining for myself.

What do you do when someone has your whole soul wrapped around their finger?
Love is such a sweet yet scary word.
In the blink of an eye they could be gone, and there you'll be, right back where you started,
The only difference being your heart is ruptured, and your eyes are constantly damp from your thoughts about the past.
Love can be oh so sweet,
it can bring you to the highest places.
But it can also be oh so brutal,
creating your own little personal hell.
Yet when you find that sweet, fearless love, you forget about all of that and jump right in, ready to try again.
Wrapped around their finger.

This life can be so unbearable.
What is the point?
I ask myself that question more than any other.
Ask most this question, you recieve the same response
"To live."
Well, ****.
Maybe I don't want to anymore.
I was never asked, just pulled into this warped reality.
What is the point...