I wish I could caress your face
like She gets to.
I wish I could hold you
like She gets to.
I wish I could love you
like She gets to.

I wish I wasn't such a ***** up.

{hjl}

when The Lord made you, sweet boy,

did He send you down to this

unworthy planet on a soft cloud

with angels singing sweet lullabies?

did He place a sparkling crown around

your lovely, delicate head?

did He tell you that you are the most

genuine, good hearted, wonderful

thing that He had ever created?

did He tell you, sweet angel?

{hjl}

I fell asleep to the sound of the ocean

the waves reminded me of the way you repetitively touched me -

softly and fiercely, all in one motion

and I wish I could feel that same exhilaration one more time

{hjl}

she is a rare, delicate flower and you are the only one who knows about her. you are the only one who can protect her.

I mostly write about how hard it is for me to breathe, but what I don't write about is the way my sore eyes get some relief when they fall upon you. Your face - blue eyes and devious smile - causes my heart to skip a beat and my stomach to flutter. I don't know if this is love or lust, but it feels like forever.

Leaving without a trace, your love vanished. I am distraught.

sighs so loud you can hear it over the crashing waves

scars so visible you can see them from a mile away

hair so messy he can't even run his fingers through it

{hjl}

and although I've come to
admire the heavy bags
under your chestnut eyes,
I hate to think of the demons
that keep you restless
through the night.

you are what keeps me sane
and gives me peace during
the long summer nights,
I just wish I could repay the favor.

{hjl}

After I drove you away,
I felt a heavy weight
Land upon my chest.
I tried to imagine a life
Where you weren't there
To hold my hand and
Wipe away my tears.

I couldn't.

Tonight I kissed a boy
Who I've liked for awhile now.
But all I could think about
Was how soft YOUR lips were.

I touched his face.
But the only thing running
Through my mind was
How badly I wish it had been
YOUR face between my hands.

I beat myself up because of You

Like the waves pounding their fists against the rock lining the shores

I beat myself up because of You

Like the hammer that is barreling down onto the nail, piercing the wood,
much like how my heart has been pierced from the absence of Your love

I beat myself up because of You

{hjl}

People I care about keep saying,
"All we have is time."
That isn't true.
You took no time at all to find someone new to call yours.
You took no time to forget about me.
It took no time to make these marks on my skin.
It took no time to tear my heart into tiny shreds.
We DO NOT HAVE TIME.

I hated how he acted,
but I loved the warmth
of his hands on my skin