Out of body, out of touch
If I feel at all, then I feel too much
This poem is as shallow as my grave

But I'm still digging

If I want a God then I'll misbehave
If I want to be sad then I'll entertain
Just because I'm found
doesn't mean I'm around
Just because I'm growing up
Doesn't mean I can't be down

I'm sorry, mom and dad,
but if I want to be happy then I'll have to be sad
I'll write until my fingers bleed
Until my words are the blood that the readers need

Her eyes slowly lifted,  she squinted at the light practically burning her eyes.  There were shapes,  human shapes, surrounding her but she couldn't make out the faces. Then within her line of sight a fist comes hurling towards her face, connecting with her jaw and giving her whiplash on top of the large bruise that was surely already forming.  

All of sudden there was shouting and bright lights coming from every direction, gun shots blazing through the dimly lit room. A man shouted her name, she couldn't tell where it came from or who said it but they certainly said Clara.  She scanned the room, bodies were steadily dropping,  men screaming like babies,  suddenly the ropes that tied her hands were being undone.

"We've got you ma'am" said a familiar voice from the shadows.  

As quickly as it all began she was being carried through a dark hallway in strong arms. Slowly all the lights faded to nothing and she could no longer even hear her own breath.

She slowly started to hear what sounded like whispers in the distance, her mind was at ease though.  It felt like a bed she was laying on, plush, maybe even extra pillows under her head. Her face ached more than she thought possible and trying to open her eyes made her head throb more than she could stand.  

There was a shadow in the distance, a man, standing perfectly still. She could only make out his shape but he seemed familiar, friendly. She finally felt safe though, for the first time in days. The man said something she couldn't understand, then he rushed to her side.

"Clara, you're awake! Finally! It's been 12 hours. How are you feeling?" he said rushed and excitedly.

"Uncle Frankie?" she asked weakly.

"Yes Sweetie, I'm here, you're safe now" he said with a big awkward smile. He'd always been awkward, since she was a little girl, but he was her dad's little brother and she loved him like a father.

"What happened?", she was so confused, the last few days were a blur of fists and guns in her mind.

"Johnny BlackHeart and his crew kidnapped you Clara. They held you captive for days, called us for ransom and demands, said they'd torture you if we didn't comply.  We finally found out where they were keeping you yesterday, me and the guys came in guns blazing and killed most of the guards. We thought we'd lost you for a few minutes but George got you out just in time. We're so lucky you made it."

She took all this in and in the next instant all the memories came rushing back, the beatings, the restraints, all of it.  She sat up quickly, refusing her uncles hand for help.

"We need a family meeting, now! Get George and the boys in here immediately!" she said angrily.

"What are you going to do?" he asked wearily.

She looked at him like it should have been obvious but she said it anyways, in the calmest voice she could.

"Get Revenge"

There's nothing
      I'd rather do
             Than just be
                     **With You

It's not just one person
It's not one big thing
It's all the little stuff
That happiness can bring
A few sweet words
Or a whisper in my ear
To know I brought laughter
For the whole world to hear

It's a simple sunset
And a beautiful sunrise
To see a special light
That I bring to someones eyes
Just to know they're here
Even a thousand miles away
To feel how much they care
In the little things they say

A sweet scent
Of musky cologne
Feeling the fire
Never being alone
A heat that burns
So deep inside
The deepest thoughts
In you I confide

Not caring the distance
Not fighting the feeling
I guess it's time for me
To really start believing

I've never loved

         or hated you more

                   in this moment...

This uncertainty
How you feel for me
Honestly, I'm dying inside
It's not right
So now I write and write
And listen to you talk,
About her, about it all,
And it pains me to hear it
About all the crazy *******
But I'm here,  I'll hear anything
Selflessly listening
Being the shoulder, the rock in which you lean
And it remains to be seen
Which direction in life you'll take
Just keep in mind, no matter the road you find yourself on,  
In my eyes you'll never be gone,
There will always be a shortcut, an easy path back
Just get up,  brush yourself off
Take the first few steps in my direction,  
When you get close enough,  
The shadow in the distance will show true perfection