I feel the friends
I never quite knew
Helped me the most
But given the news
I don't care
I feel like ****
I lie on the floor
Get out of my way
I'm a waste
I wanna escape
And then I might know
I was afraid

I've searched for you, and never knew,
I overlooked the way you are,
My whole life through, 
My whole **** youth
Free from logic and life's cycles
Oh, I never knew
You were with me and those I wronged and everyone whose wronged me too
I'm sorry.
I tried to make sense,
but it just couldn't work.

I wanna die in the sun
By my hand while there's still light
I never knew anyone
who didn't lie and who didn't drink
There's the one he ***** 
No eyes and his heart is stone
They say a caged bird sing
Song of it's wasted youth
Please spend time again
Listen for a little while
Take me back
Back to where I hate the most
Well I'm the one he *****
No future one escape
I wanna die in the sun
By my hand while there's still light

Sweet baby go brush your teeth
Wash your hair and get back to sleep
It didn't matter I'm not cured
They took the pills that I need to sleep
And washed it down with the carrot juice
All in all it made me puke
The colors of sunset and rise
The smell of *** were all around
And I don't pull out

I am mawkish I am sad, I think not of what I've had
And religion makes me sick, it's nothing more than politics
Well the people get confused, no ones right we always lose
Lucky you they've got a noose, I'll take your place if you don't mind
Too dramatic such a shame I should have never played your game
Always winning just my luck I've never ever gave a ****
Now it's over, lucky me, no problems and I am free
Free from tonic and a pill I get drunk and then get ill
On the grass where no one sees and who would ever talk to me

The option of life is hard
To keep on and on without an end
I watch the train arrive and go
I ask myself is this the one
What burden bothers the conductor
Could I stop this train in time
Will he try to die tonight
I've contemplated everyday
The pros the cons
But anyway

What ******* luck
They always look but never see
It's okay
I was never met to be
I was never planned a ******* birth
and it's fine
sadness feels just like the sun
warm enough to watch you burn
but love was something
I never learned

Her eyes are odd colored
Her hair is a mess
I'd like to pretend,
But I know what comes next
She's selfish and loves it
She thinks it's the best
Still I love her
much more then the rest

He found it hard to talk to folks
Said his life was just a joke
Had nothing to forget
Just people to forgive
Well they know they've done him wrong
Says **** **** them all
He had a girl named Susie Lou
She hung herself and climbed out the door
He had needles and a pen
to feed the thought that lie within
he didn't care he didn't feel a thing
But that's impossible

No, I am not an artist
I'll never know what art truly is
it comes in a form:
Now, familiar and clean
No longer is it the one I love,
Its copycatted, dry, walled and closed
It stares me in the eyes,
amused at the fact
That I will never be an artist
For I see
Noting will ever be art again

The night
The sun
In east
In nest
I lay awake
You sleep the best

****
****
****
****

well,
I blame me 
if you feel empty,
It wasn't supposed to hurt
like you are now,
So what.
I wasn't there 
no, I didn't feel a thing
and it wasn't like it was
meant,
to be.
Why cry,
When you lose,
All you make,
Every time you break down.
Again,
I'm sick as can be,
Without it
And I'm just trying not
To faint.
Today.