I saw you the other night
Sneaking at the back of my heart
I watched as you sparked a light
A light that had spread to a fire
It flicked like a fragile flame on a wick
I let it dance on the kindling of my heart
I let it scar me, whip me until I bled
Your fire twirled as my blood ran red

You stole the reins to my heart
You roused me, galvanized me
It skipped to the music of your voice
I grasped my heart on my hands
Bloodied, bruised, burned, but still beating
And with the beats, it told me
That it would be better shared with you
With you and only you

Embrace me with tenderness
Beguile me with splendor
Drown me in your passion
Intoxicate me with your love
Oh, please, make me believe
There's nothing wrong with this love
Such an unreasonable reality
This is not what I hoped for
But as long as I'm with you
I don't care about anything else.

Sitting under the tree
meditating
Smelling of a fresh mowed grass
Running along the river
I can hear the wind blowing
behind my ears
Listening to the Coltrane every
morning when I wake up
those are the pleasures
of my life, I thought.
Thought  boat has finally
set the fine course
Thought I've
reached it.

Still there is a lone bird
chirping deep inside.
Singing a new song
every time
I forget.

I think it's fine that
he is down there
I really don't know
what my life
would be
without him.

Don't tell me to get in the shower "It'll make you feel better,"
When you are the one who caused the bruises,
the internal ache,
the tears stained on my face,
the nightmares when I close my eyes,
and the PTSD everybody thinks is a lie.

Red is the color of anger
That burns and boils and bubbles
It seethes and seems to soak into beauty
It is cold and fierce and fiery
And ironically
*red is the color of love

It's the first day of school, Everything's going to be good.
It's the first day of school, I just want to stay home.

I wonder if my friends are still going to be by my side when I'm older.
I wonder if my friends are just going to abandon me when I'm older.

Sometimes, i look back at the past and think of how strong i was.
Sometimes, i look back at the past and think of how weak i was.

when I'm down, i think of all the good things I've done
when I'm down, i think of all the good things i haven't done.

The sunrise peeks over the mountains,
rising up, it is filled with colours
Red, orange, purple, blue, yellow
Mixed into the sky
A beautiful precious memory, I'll never forget
it rises with dignity, it has no regrets
Confidently flooding the sky with its' light
I wish i could be like the sun, not afraid
to rise everyday
giving people love, laughter, and light

It's 3 AM, again.
I'm staring at my phone.
I'm hoping that you'll text me, sitting all alone.
My hands are shaking badly
Waiting for your reply
we haven't talked in a while, not for a few days
Then you decided you didn't want to stay
Well, It doesn't matter now
you're gone anyway
I'm always hurt in some cruel kind of way.
but I'm still hoping
and I'll still wait
until you come back, some day.

It's 3 AM, Again.
I'm staring at my phone.
I'm crying, I'm hurting and I'm wishing you were home.