Flowers bless
Corpses solely in anguish
For a next life not

One night
The moon was high
As we said goodnight
With the longest goodnight kiss I've ever had
And the feelings I felt
All through that night
Had me hungry
Hungry for more

But here we are
Separated
By distance
Emotional and geographical
And I'm just
Waiting for the time
I can see you again
But till then
But till then
I'm hanging on a memory

The look in your eyes made me feel just right
Like I'm some miracle to behold
We fit just like puzzle pieces when you held me tight
Kissing my lips like they were yours

But here we are
Separated
By distance
Emotional and geographical
And I'm just
Waiting for the time
I can see you again
But till then
But till then
I'm hanging on a memory

I never thought
That I could ever miss someone
As much as I miss you
I never thought
That your picture could bring tears to my eyes
I never thought
That I would ever long to hear
Someone's voice as I do yours
Isn't that crazy, baby?

Yet here we are
Separated
By distance
Emotional and geographical
Just longing to be with you again!
But till then
But till then
I'm hanging on a memory
Hanging on a memory
Yes, oh yes, a beautiful memory~

He is a country boy,
I city gal.
I like pop and country,
He think that metal is the best.
He's a thousand miles away,
but he seems so much closer.
We make each other happy.
He's shy and nerdy,
I outgoing and reserved and nerdy.
I'm not beautiful,
But he still tells me I am.
He's handsome,
But he won't believe me.
He's a little older,
I a wee bit younger.
He's so strong and sturdy and ***** and trustworthy
I so broken
He's like the glue of my broken ceramic heart.

And yet despite all these differences,
He and I fit so well together
like puzzle pieces,
meant to be.

We were fading out
From red to pink to white
I just didn't feel the butterflies anymore
I felt the tears in my eyes
Flowing in definite streams
Breath shaking
As I said goodbye
You hid behind a shield
That I pierced straight through to your heart
Your long hair hid the tears
As they fell
Smearing your shirt
You spoke our final words
"Goodbye, but I still love you."
Those syllables
Tore my chest open
And ripped my heart from it
He never spoke to me again,
But I still remember that day
And those words
And the heart abuse.

Answer me this, Harold of Wisdom
They say follow your heart,
They say listen to it too,
But what if you're so separated from your heart,
you can't hear it,
nor can it move?

The heart beats fine
Rhythmic supply of crimson life unhindered
Yet it lies inside an invisible cage
A vault, if you may
Keeping it secure from the outside
But silent as well
Away from the waves of life
But unable to move
Time after time, the wall gets tested
Grows stronger
Until it is so fortified, a king would spend an entire army in its conquering

But what happens when one wishes to unlock this case?
Is it rusted together forever?
Does it leak the occasional flow of love?
Did it contain any to begin with?
One tries to undo the wall, brick by brick,
But that never does any good.
And the wall is so powerful,
No act of nature can batter it to its end
So anything one says at this stage comes out half-assed,
Insincere,
Untrustful,
Only showing half of one'a heart.
One doesn't aim for this,
No, not at all.
And yet the situation arises again and again.

The bricks of the walls
The walls of the hearts
The protection
The solitation
How does one conquer one's own defense?

He was my light on the darkest night
My love from up above
My reason to wake up in the morning
He made my world rotate on its axis
His moods the seasons of the Earth.
He was my world.

a y e a r
Improptu
As sincerely as possible He says
"Elizabeth, I'm glad I'm with you.
Happy anniversary,"
With eyes like melted chocolate

m o n t h s  g o  b y
Inch by inch,
He inched away
Withdrawing from my world
Like a terminal patient
I clung onto my God
Believed He could see my pain
What He was doing to me
He would stop!
All would be well!

My World became so cold as He withdrew
The chills
The silence
The unending tears
He became bare
To any ornament of grace I have ever known
He imploded
And I was the collateral damage

Confusion wracked my mind for weeks
Which turned into months
Which morphed to anger and resent
How was this caring?
I put in all my faith and I was let down

This is why I'm not religious.

How I wish the world was different
How I wish you could be near
How I wish I could come to you when i'm crumbling
How I wish I could hear
How I wish I didn't have to **** you
To recover some happiness
How I wish the world wasn't crying
Why wasn't I ready for this?
I know time passes
And things, they change
But in the end, won't all  the pain be the same?
How I wish that I didn't have to do this
I'm sorry, so sorry
But I can't keep doing this
I can't keep wishing for the impossible
Hoping for the best
So I've made a decision I hope I won't regret
So I'm sorry...
But this is the end.

Physically,
I'm not much.
Green eyes,
Roundish body.
Not much.

Mentally, however,
I am all.
Intelligent
Quick
Kind
Loving
I am beautiful.

Are you?

What if...
If I had more family?
More siblings?
Gone to a different school?
Been nice to the popular girl?
What would have become of me?
While I know that life can't be based upon ifs,
It's awful curious to think about.
Then after I contemplate those questions,
I come to the conclusion that although it might not be perfect,
My life is fine as it is.

If people only knew
What I went through
As a kid...

I had a messed up family
I never had a normal childhood really
Always lonely, single child...

Almost everyone I have ever loved
Has ran from me
Or messed up too badly to be forgiven...

But the past is the past
And there it must stay
For the future cannot come
If the past is in it's place

If you love someone
And they feel they must go
For sorting out their life or whatever they must do
Let them go
And then pray they'll come back to you.

Be patient
Be kind
In the hardest of times
Try to understand
And always be a friend.

If they don't come back
It wasn't meant to be, I guess
But always keep faith and hope
In your heart
That the best shall be.

Tears slip away noiselessly in the barren night.
The occasional sound of restless need and anguish
Escapes my lips.
I am cuffed helpless by the continuation of time,
By the continuation of distance,
By the reality of too-far-off daydreams.
I can't.
I can't.
I want to, but I can't.
I can't fiddle with time at will.
I can't determine fate.
I can't even drive.

I just can't...

I'm a...
Nerd
Tryin' to run with the herd
Lonely one
Miss out on all the fun
Reader
If there was a book meter, I'd have broken it by now
Musical novice
Though I'm aimless in my pursuit
Believer in the Almighty
He is to me like a father to a daughter
Smartie
Sweet and hardy

I'm a lot of things
And that'll change over the years,
But I hope to be
The best me I can be
Now and forever.

Situations
Bring us down
Or pick us off
Off the ground

When I met you
My sky was blue
But there was no sunshine
Till I met you

Now you've got my head spinnin'
But you've soothed my troubled soul
There's nobody else for me
Indeed
You've got me addicted
And every conversation brings me higher
Addicted
I never want to come off this mountain high
That's you and I

That night
Your touch felt right
No surprise

There was just somethin in the air
Uncut tension
Split only by a kiss of passion

Now you've got my head spinnin'
But you've soothed my troubled soul
There's nobody else for me
Indeed
You've got me addicted
And every conversation brings me higher
Addicted
I never want to come off this mountain high
That's you and I

They say
We're too far away from each other
To make this work for us
But you know
I'm not afraid to meet the devil
As his doorstep if I must
If it means being with you
Because that's all I want to do

I am not quitting
There's no second guessing
We will prove the haters wrong
I love you
And you love me too
I believe that we belong
There's no movin' along
I'm addicted to you.

I met a friend on here recently
I won't say his/her name
To bring unwanted fame

My friend is weird
Undoubtedly so
Although he is kind
Incredibly so

My friend is unorthodox
In his views
And the life he wants to choose

My friend is misunderstood
Aren't we all?
And frankly,
he's also pretty tall.

I hope he sticks around a while
His awesome poetry makes me smile
I hope this will make him smile
Even if it's vile
We'll see, won't we?

I am seeing now what I didn't see before
You forever disfigured me
You made me question if this boy,
Who has supposedly been in love with me
Since the day he met me,
Loves me.
Do you realize how much power that takes?
Power it takes to shred up every bit of me and even when I carefully braid my strands back together to make any sort of good rope,
It's still not good enough to make a basket
Not sturdy, not solid
All the insecurities still slip through
Thanks for that
Now I don't trust any boy

Sometimes I feel as though I am not me
I am not myself
That I make up my emotions
That I doubt my feelings if I'm not in the moment of the emotion's happening
I cannot stay true to anyone
Not even myself
I am not set in stone
Just a sun-bleached sheet blowing in the wind
I am closed when I need to be open
I am open when I need to be closed...

Is this okay/normal?

Inspiration fills a being
With beauty and determination
That could change a nation
In the blink of an eye

You know what inspires me, readers?

A master.

"Of what?" you might ask.

Any talent.
Any science.
Singing.
Medicine.
Dance.
Chemistry.
Painting.
Arithmeti­c.
Theater.
Literature.
Even something as simply beautiful handwriting.

Anyone who can execute their talent with excellency and proficiency above my own abilities, to define such a term.

All entice me into improving my own skill set
So that one day I might be a young match for the known and loved.

Inspiration.

Intimacy isn't just bodies for
Skin-to-skin contact to superficial
Swapping of spit
And all the other ****** fluids known to man.
Flesh degrades.
That's what medicine exists for.
Therefore *** is easy.

Intimacy is the heart-to-heart connections.
There is no shortcut, no replacement.
Those who have it thrive.
Those who don't feel the void
Yet cannot satisfy it alone.
Many try *** and fail.
*** exists to deepen intimacy,
And without such is simply a stream
Of happy, happy chemicals
An ephemeral high...
Meaningless.

I crave the ability to gaze upon
The surface of a soul,
To glide my fingers in the warm pool
Of emotion,
Of trust,
Of love;
To hold another being in my arms
And soothe a ravishing, ravaged heart
Much like my own.
And to know that such is reciprocated equally
To my broken self.

I crave this more than anything
So I must wait.

The sun is shining
The birds are twitter around
More than everyone after Miley's MTV performance

Schools are closed
Businesses are closed
The city is shut down
Because of a coating of ice
No thicker than my ring finger
That's Texas for you

I get to avoid all that
Homework
Those teachers
On a Monday morning

Isn't it an ice day?

I think I like you
Your mysteries make me want to know you
I think you are a friend
You support me
I know I couldn't think when we hugged
Swift happiness flooded my brain

I thought I was over you until...

I heard you answer your phone
Speaking perfect Spanish
clear and crisp
it was beautiful.

I saw your eyes up close for the first time.
Darkest and most decadent chocolate
I have ever seen

I saw a sign for a comic book shop
close to your home
You love comics,
DC comics.

All of these reminded
me so much of you
Every time I see these
I feel a proverbial punch in the gut
and a tear in the darkest corner of my eyes.
And I thought I was over you...

Whisper of a butterfly's wing
On one's lip
Is what people call a kiss.
I call it happiness

It all started with a swipe right
On a funny white paper hat
Atop a cute fellow
In a white Mustang.

Conversation slowly deepened
Until a call steepened
The newfound heat
Between the two.

A call to meet up turned into an adventure,
A night,
Then two,
Then three.

The connection they found
Was unreal,
Based in passion and similarity,
But not yet clarity.

Carved out of their schedules
Was time for one another:
A way to let loose
And ****** their minds.

But they must hold back!
Don't become attached!
He's leaving.
She's staying.
Distance breaks bonds like theirs.

She cannot stop herself
She becomes enraptured
With the ocean of his eyes,
His smile, his terrible singing
She falls in love with his life.

Somewhere along the line
He slips and falls
For her curves, her mind,
And her intoxicating personality.

So they continue in secret...
Afraid to say words that sting,
Afraid to let the heart sing,
For what it desires.

But tides turn toward the sun...
And suddenly he isn't leaving!
The heavens open up
To possibilities they could both only dream about.

They let the feelings sneak out,
Stopped maintaining the veil,
And let it show.

Six months and counting,
What would you know?

Relatives expired
Mind overtired
Body worn
Heart torn
School
Feeling minuscule
Lack of art
No sweetheart
To hear my cries
No good guys in disguise
Homework
Overwork
Hormones
No gemstones

Even though,
all this I show.
I know I'll get through
wipe off the residue
and be anew.

Thank you.

Late at night, after Mother goes to bed
She writes
To whom is unknown
Reason has no weight
The girl just writes
I suspect she loves another
Aside from family
Or she is an authoress
Creating stories for others enjoyment
I suppose it could be most anything
I leave you to wonder
Only God truly knows what is enclosed in that scroll of ink and heart

I am a leaf in the road
Trod over by cars in the road
I have spectacular veins
But no one notices
This leaf knows that one day
On that damp residential street after school
Some child will come along
And bring me new life
And a new pleasure
To satisfy the curiosity of the young
Till so, I am left here to wait
To stay a leaf in the road

I once saw a blue jay in a oak tree
And awed as mother fed her children
And flew away for more.
The little feathered things
Stared at me and peeped
Then mother bird came back
And fed them once more
Then they all laid down
Mother included
And they took themselves an afternoon nap

That was such a natural experience
Yet it changed me in so many ways
Teaching me things
No book
No poem
No teacher
Could ever explain
Motherhood is love,
No matter the species
The race, the culture.
Motherhood is love.

Life is a contradiction.

How is it that you can be
Lost,
But remain in the same place?
Broken.
But still contain all your parts,
The manufacturer gave you?
Die,
And yet still live to see the next sunrise?
How can these actions be so true?

Life is a contradiction.

If life is a highway,
I don't wanna ride it!
Too much **** traffic.

Life is a loaf of bread
It starts out beautiful and whole
Each unique
With its own ingredients
Bakers
And style of bread

Slowly but surely
Time eats away at the loaf
Slice by slice
And what isn't eaten by time
Is eaten by spores
Some sticking around for much longer
Than need be
Turning a once delicious loaf of bread
Into a rotting end piece of nothingness
Until it all disappears

Degradation is the story.
Life is a loaf of bread.

A random times in the day
The light in my head blinks on
Emitting glorious ideas
Of lyrics and melodies in my head
Some I recognize
Others I do not
They go away faster than they came
Like a stallion in a horse race
Too quick to write down or even sing
So the thoughts go to waste
Until I'm in another place
Where you cannot be received
O' how you torment me so?

White letters in a blue box on a white screen
Tell me what you cannot speak
But wish to say

They speak of untold desires for me
They leave me as "astonished" as my beauty is according to you
They insist I am perfection
That you'll always come back for me

And in one of the blue boxes
You tell me something unreal.
You say you seek the light in everyone
And that I possess the brightest light of any you have seen
The light of good intentions, good in an evil world like a lighthouse to a ****** in a storm

Light Seeker, you flatter me
Kind words, respect, honesty, trustworthiness, depth, genius
I am sinking fast

To me, you are a ship's lamp
Hardy fire within
Dusty on the outside
But warm beneath thick glass

Light Seeker,
I might be falling again
Catch me, will you?

Glide, glide
Lithe little butterfly
Do with freedom's grace

Glide, glide
Across the meadows
Of classic red brick
And limestone slick
From rain and rain and rain

Glide, glide
Away from danger
Little butterfly
Be unfettered
By the flutters of others

Glide, glide
Show your colors true!
If only by this
Can you know you

Glide, glide
Little butterfly
Till dusk comes rest
Where in the rainbows of the sky
You return to where you belong

Glide, glide
Little butterfly
Peace, peace, peace

I am known as the Living Questionnaire
Inquiry is my ecstasy
Silence is my downfall
Imvestigative and compelled for the truth I seek
"Why do I do this?" the best questionnaire in me asks myself.
Because I'm bored?
Not always.
To better understand humanity? Probably.
To indulge in the otherworldly experience of touching a soul by questioning a mind.
Yes.
...delightful...

Lock and Key
I'll lock the rest of me
Up in a vault
There isn't much
Left to clutch

Maybe this heart of mine
Will align
Itself right
So it'll stop making mistakes
And stop the heartaches

I'll keep the key
Only to me
And show not a soul
Keep myself straight
And wait...

For Mr. Right
Not Sir Plight

Come soon

I am a lonesome lotus in this pond
Only one of its kind
I wish I could have another
Another lotus to bind roots at the pond's floor
We could dance in the breeze
Enjoying the sun's rays
If only for a season
We will die in time
But, in the least, I shall not die
Guilty and wanting for another
Because I'd have you.

I am confused
Of all this talk of love
What is it exactly?
They say
It is the beating of one's heart
and soul to another's rhythm
They say it is the need of understanding
Of acceptance
Of one individual to another.

This is love.

Digging down deep is difficult
So many things these days only skim the surface
Or what we are capable of
No one dares to look inside
Afraid to shovel out the bones buried in the graveyard of memories
Afraid to be paralyzed with the fear that is ever apparent
Cry the tears that are ever evident
Be struck with the burning lightening of anger
Or the shallow mallet of loss
We bury them all so deep
We believe nothing can touch us
There is no way any being on this earth can touch this stone cold iron heart, no one
Then someone comes along
And without knowing, teases out little bits of that heart
Melting it slowly
Leaving us vulnerable once again
Exposed to others
What we wished to avoid in the first place
Sometimes, the person tosses the glass heart aside
Shattering it into a thousand sharp pieces
And other times, they cradle the masterpiece of human desire gently between their hands and place it on a shelf only they can reach
And toss you theirs for safe keeping
A gamble of emotion
An exchange of hearts
Love it is

Feeling all
Embracing all
Fearing not
Love it is...

So often I draw little things on my papers
First crosses
Then your name
Then how much I missed you
All the same
I never cried on those papers
Although somedays I felt like it
I didn't want to show such weakness
To someone like you
Next time I'll avoid someone like you

Rainy day
Trees crashing on my window pane
I'm here
Thinking about lately
And thinking maybe
We could be

So I called you up
And asked you the question
That I've been wanting for so long
To say
And I hear your voice fade away on the line
And you say "Sorry, I just can't Caroline."
That's not fine

So now I'm sitting here
Drowning myself in chocolate
And tears
Dreaming
Oh dreaming about what we could have been
And sitting here
Wallowing in my misery

I thought I had you figured all out
I thought you could love me without a doubt
But you just leave me empty
And so I sit here
At my window
Dreaming of you

Well, friend
I guess in the end
You couldn't love me
Like I wanted you to
Or be who you wanted you to be
Silly stupid me...

As you sing me a lullaby goodnight
I melt into your arms
I swear till I'm dead
That you were my godsent knight'
Oooh, oooh
Godsent knight

We don't need a castle
We just need some faith
And a little love
Love, love
My godsent knight
Oooh, oooh
Godsent knight

You heal my spirit
Better than any pill
Oooh, oooh
Turn my pale cheeks red
Yeah yeah yeah

My Godsent Knight

You have to wait for happiness
It'll come out of no where
And into your life
Seems so right
Seems so right

Snow is fallin
On my window
Dreamin about what I could be
Am I this?
Will I be that?
It's all left to fate
And for happiness I'll wait
Seems so right
for the rest of my life
Seems so right

When times get harder
My faith is weary
I'll just keep that dream alive
And it'll keep me goin
Goin, goin
I'll keep praying for my day to come
When you'll come for me
Only for me

Until then
I'll keep starin out my window
Looking the sea of white
I'll be alright
Alright, alright
Tonight

Stone steel throne
livin in my bones
take em all out
and i have left to be
no one else but me

I don't feel like anybody knows
the real me
real me
but just take a minute
I'll be quick to finish
all about me

I'm too sweet
I'm not neat
I love rock
but I don't hate pop.
I am hopeless
without someone to see
To see
To see the real me

This is the undiluted truth
This is nothing you have to sleuth out
Rock out
I just wanted to type this out
So someone would know
And I could show
The real me.

I wake the mornin
To the birds in the trees
Sunshine in my eyes
Another day"s delight
Oooh, oh, oh

There nothin
Like comin to school
Fresh like a summer breeze
Makes the day not so long
'Cause summer comin on
Faster than speed of light

This is sweet, sweet serenity
This is sweet, sweet serenity
Oh yeah
Sweet, sweet senenity

Don't need nothin fancy
No need some boy to complete me
I'm fine my own
But know
Cause I got people
I got friends and family
Who are faithful
What might I need
More than this sweet serenity?

Sweet, sweet serenity
Sweet, sweet
Sweet, sweet
Sweet, sweet serenity
I am happy with my life
I don't need any help
No, no, no
Doing just fine on my own
Even when times are tough
I bring myself back up
I am strong
I am strong

This
Is
Sweet,
Yes, sweet, sweet serenity

Sun
Stars
You're too far
For me to give you the kiss
That I miss
When I've got your heart
But we're miles apart
What can I do
If I can't have you?

The world is just a puzzle
We try to find our missing pieces to make ourselves whole
Sometimes we find shredders
Or the edge of the table below our cardboard limbs

The college guy that goes out on Friday nights to the same bar,
Trying to find a temporary thrill,
Seeks excitement.

A young lady who wakes up every morning to get to the gym
Seeks wellness.

An old widow with his knees bowed next to the alter at church,
Looks to find sanctuary.

A man watching the people pass
Looks for inspiration in the lives of others.

The greatest of sinners
His back to an metal table
Limbs strapped one by one
Says one last prayer before darkness overtakes him.
He seeks redemption.

What are you seeking?

I wait for the moment,
When time shall stop,
And the universe halt,
To an abrupt end.

I wait to see him.

The person I shall marry,
Become one with,
And intertwine my heart,
Soul,
And bank account with.

I wait for that moment like everyone else.
I daydream about it like every other woman,
And girl.
So here is to the guy meant for me:
I am waiting for you.

Music speaks to me
Heals me,
Lets me forget my situation

When no one else comes
Music is there
To give me hugs and cry with me

When I have something to celebrate
it's right there
Humming the song of victory

When there's something I need to release
It screams with me
Giving it to them

Music lets me say everything
Without saying a word.