Sweet melodies haunt my soul
If I could not sing
Nor hum
Or tap to the rhythm
I would have gone mad long ago
For my heart is nourished by music
My mind kept in the wonders of its making
My throat itching in anticipation
Awaiting the moment I can burst forth
The day's feelings and free myself
Music is my lifeline
And without it,
Life wouldn't be worth living

Sleek little body
Fur of black
She is my Baby
Hunting fabric mice is her game
Made from my hand to her heart
She fell through the wall
But she made it through all
Baby

My dream guy
Isn't buff
Nor perfect

My dream guy
Can be a little scrawny
And be perfectly unperfect

My dream guy
Can be a little weird
I won't mind

My dream guy
Can be a little broken
I am too
We can help fix each other

My dream guy
Can be uniquely handsome
I like 'em that way anyway

My dream guy...

Based on my current situation with a friend of mine*

His lanky build
His orange Converse sneakers
His eyes of chocolate and gold

His kind heart
His unique soul
Unafraid to show the universe
Who he is

I wish we would talk more
But he won't answer my texts
I feel so needy
And so mixed

And so I wait for
Mystery to answer
Answer back to me
And so I wait.

Poetry has many facets
It has not a nature
But many

The lines can be whimsical
Like soap bubbles floating midair
Words as serious as a jagged piece of stone
Sentences of a beating heart
Full of love and joy
Calming like vanilla and sugar
Fresh cookies in the air
Yet so heartfelt
Bleeding out passion
Previously unknown

Although poetry has many sides
And angles
All poetry has one thing in common
It is a brilliant diamond of the mortal imagination
shining in the darkest times of humanity
bringing light where there was none before.

A cat and a ball of yarn
Three women knit pretentiously
In a rain-lit corner
Beautiful they weave stories
Within the rugs of old
Then there is I
In the other corner
Attempting to piece together
Bits of my own sanity
Only to find the thread wants nothing to do
With the needle
I cry
Oh I cry
But it changes naught
The thread is free from the needle
And I am the pin cushion.

I swore I wouldn't do it again

I did it again

I hurt him again

I can't fix what I've done

I've cracked his trust three times now

I'm drowning in guilt

I swore I'd never hurt him

I did

I wish I could go back in time

Back to before all this happened

It's all my fault

All of it

I want to make myself feel pain

Like I made him feel

I need to make myself pay

So I don't do it again

I can't bear to lose him

Although I didn't deserve him in the first place

"I'm sorry," doesn't heal ****

I don't know what to do

I'm lost in my own pain

And the fact that I've hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt

I'm so close to losing him

I don't want to **** up again

help me, someone

anyone

But when he asks what's wrong,

I say

"Nothing."

Tall chairs, no backs
Short chairs, tall backs
Arranged in geometric mazes of social anxiety

Round arrangements of fruits, salad
Burgers, comfort foods on rotation
Fruity drinks, PUSH here
Infused water to dull the senses

Alone and lonely
Tall chairs
In front of a screen projecting my insecurities
Stalkers and murderers
A Lifetime of Crime

Friendly face appears around the corner
Handsome tanned face, ***** blonde hair
Eyes clear as blue-tinted topaz on a sunny day
Music had connected us once upon a night
Briefly
And here we are again

Sunday small talk
Over eggs sunny side up and the false illusion of a smile
Church, homework, moods of days
Then on the subject of RAs
"I met him before school,
As part of the Summer Bridge Program"

"I know, I came early too.
Now we're even."

In the cast of all my burdening sensibilities
We are even
You feel it too, don't you?
Pretty face, pretty eyes
All just lies

Sixty fakers masquerading as one of them
Beautiful girls with tanned skin
Hair masterfully tangled into curls enrapturing
The male focus
The boys with smiles brighter than summer clouds
Chiseled so well da Vinci would be proud
Striped cards glazed with a sweetness so thick
Masqueraders envy

Can it be spoken of?
Can I do this?
Can I do that?
Why do I even try?
They know I'm not like them
But I want them to like me
But my conscientiousness, my pride, my will to stay alive
Threatens to swallow me whole
Until all that's left is crumbs
Of guilt, self-consciousness and greed

I am an imposter
I'm always the one that's not like the others
Alienation

I want to reach out and caress them

But they're u n t o u c h a b l e

To those like me

I
am
   just
      an
        empty
            shell
                that
                    is
                      falling
                                  .  
                                    .  
                                       .....

When you're in pain,
you strive to feel nothing.
So thank you, Numbness.

A boy he was
Long, long ago
As he glided into the chromed and teal druggist shop
1950s it was
Vintage years
Women in pert dresses
Men in sharp taupe suits
Filled the shop with a smoky manner
On that summer Sunday afternoon
Fan bladed just a-turnin'
Right through time itself

He saw this box before
Jeweled, valuable big music box
Been here not too long
Breathing in a flavored breath
He saw another it
The black round of pure bliss
"Blue Suede Shoes" by Elvis Presley
The white letterin' said
Letter G
Number 4
Hands ***** cold metal from warm pockets
Slipping them into the maiden's shelter
Fingers to buttons,
Arm to record
Music to shop
"Well, it's one for the money,
Two for the show,
Three to get ready,
Now go, cat, go."
Floated in mass commodity
Away the ears and mind blew in the wind
Far from his hometown
Far from his school
And far from everything he already knew...

Daydream ended too soon for his comfort
The boy stared at the flashy box
And spoke a quiet goodbye
Tile guided him out the ringing door
Concrete guided him home
Where now the older him
Lives crooked, but happy
With a dear old woman who loves him more than anything else
And a jukebox
With many records in it
But one is still on top
"Blue Suede Shoes" by Elvis Presley
In chipped, faded lettering

Sometimes I feel as though
There is an ocean
Between me and other people
A mental sea, of course
I don't act like them
I don't think like them
I'm not one of them

I wish it didn't exist
The Black Sea of my mind
I wish I could just be normal
Like everyone else

I wish that I could find my niche
Where I might find my place
In this vast world
Where I could find people like me
To hang with
A best friend even
That'd be lovely

Oh, how I wish...

Pain is...
Being able to imagine a future with him
Someone who will never love you.

Pain is...
Loneliness
Sadness
Being overlooked
Wishing for the impossible
Seeing everyone run from you.

Pain is spirit breaking,
Tear jerking torment.

That's what pain is.

In my pale palm lies something invisible
Yet imaginable
In a desert white valleys and signature ridges
Something beautiful and has no flaws
Lack of it can drive man insane
Or having it can drive a man to better himself
And work for a good future

Tis a calming handful of hope.

In the philosophy
Of modern day
We must figure out what is important
Substantial
In this flimsy world
When there are so many feelings
So many religions
So many products
Simplicity is no more
Complex now is our world
More so than our ancestors would believe
Technology is rapidly growing
At a rate no one expected
I hope man can keep up
And keep our philosophies in check

Becoming myself
Rising from the ashes of a girl
Into the fires of womanhood
I am between
Slowly, gradually
I am finding things about myself
that I never knew
Was it that I never asked?
Or is it newly hatched?
That I'll never know
But surely I am becoming me
Flaming feathers of confidence rising every month or so
As I molt my childhood fears
My body shifts to accommodate for life ahead
And make me beautiful
Victory comes closer
As required schooling gets closer to ending and college creeps in
Drama is soon to taint my crimson
Pressure increases
But I will continue to transform
Despite all this
And become the brightest phoenix I can be

a pocket watch floats by
golden
but dented, scratched, engraved, marked
on a highway of sorts of these pocket-watches

the pocket watches come in all sorts of metallic shades
some bland, small, and working
others large and delicately engraved
slowing to a stop in front of your very eyes
others mid-sized and beaten till the internal cogs show
long gone
floating all along this river in the sky

each mark tells a story
a metal a personality
an engraving a name
a dent an injury
a scratch a pain
each pocket-watch
a life.

She says just write a poem
"It's easy to do."
Not true!

Blank page
Empty cage
Open stage.

Knock my head upon a wall,
To find anything at all
To write
Such a fight!

Should I seek war
With the air corps,
Or dance
With a lance?

Need it be love
Or death's mourning dove?

Shall it have fury,
Or shall it scurry
Like a mouse
Without a house?

All these I think,
But never ink,
Just not right,
None a delight.

But then...

Hold on a sec!
I'm not a complete wreck!
Here it comes to save my neck!

Victory is mine...
Isn't it fine?

Somedays I read back on my poetry
And wonder: Is that really me?
My poetry came out great
I realize with glee

When you write
You're so unsure
What you want to say

Then you go back
And read it again
It's not half bad
You realize with a grin

So no matter your topic of write
Say what you wish to say
Because you'll read back
And come away
With a bit of wonder in your heart
And a smile on your face

Poetry, oh poetry
How I do enjoy thee
Why, I do not
But yet I do.
It is because of your unending grace
The outlet of my emotions
The socket of my heart
I love thee, oh poetry
I do

dear lord,
i don't talk to you often enough,
i know.
are you disappointed in me?
no matter, don't make anyone pay for my mistakes.
though i am lonely,
bless the friends i have
and bless the ones i have yet to make (hopefully).
bless the musicians i listen to
to drive away the loneliness in my heart.
they always makes me feel better.
bless my ex's
mend my heart
and let me find my one in a million.
and finally,
forgive me Lord for what i have done
and for what i have left undone.
i'm not perfect at all.

This is the Prayer of a Teenage Girl.

Rain makes me happy
The softness of the trickle
The fresh scent of water
Purification of the air
Why this pleases me so
I do not know
And I do not dare to ask

Rain falls quietly outside
The windows up
As I sit beside my window
With my coffee cup
Filled with hot chocolate

Creamy and smooth
The warm happiness runs down my throat
Soothing my week's worries
And I sing a whole note
Of sweetness

The dimmed light of the sun
Mirrors my attitude
And I think of my loved one
And speak of my gratitude
That ended up with someone so great

I have nothing to do
These days are the best
These days help me get through
All the rest
Rainy days rule

Try to live a little better each day in some way.

A long while ago
Perhaps a year
I wrote a poem
About a beau

And now,
He's back
And better than the last time, I can tell
And in my heart he shall be allowed

He says all these great things
True to himself
He says he's changed
But how deep are these springs?

I am willing to give him another try
And I try to glaze over any doubts I possess

I urge to reach the sky
Touch the clouds with your hand in mine
I know we can
Will you be great with me?

And if all falls back to Earth,
I promise to always care
And attempt to do good by others.

Sweet body of heaven's past
Has come calling for you
And although the paths seem straight
You know the wicked blue
You fire a bullet into the sun
Sending it over the moon

Tis the way, way, way
Of the ricochet

My lover once told me
To yourself always be true
And till now
I still believe in this
I promise you
But there are many days
That I have wasted yet
Because I'm afraid of the
What comes next
The endless ricochet

The sound shall bounce off the wall
Of a fair palace of old
Resounding throughout the land
Calling of ricochet

But one cannot forever
Forever live in the pain
Of not knowing the future
For thou hast come in vain
You have only so much
Time on the earth
So spend it to your best

So fire that bullet,
Cross your gun,
And prepare for ricochet!

No matter what reactions are
No matter what they say
Let your flag reign high
In the sky

Yes,
Aye, aye, aye, aye
Prepare for ricochet!
(Hey, hey!)

You are
a rose so sweet
and
Without you,
My world is not complete.

Pipers pipe
Pippa pips
The royal servants
Skip, skip, skip!
The whole world
Shouts with glee
As this baby is born to thee.
Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge
His Royal Highness
They all say
But he is not more than
Two days!
Child of the world
He is
And he will be till his parish date
But first he must find a mate
And create another kid
To be loved by all of Earth
Oh, what a birth!
But, until then,
We will watch him grow into a young man
And bloom into an amazing king
Who shall spread his bright beam
Across the world's stage

Home at home
Home at last
Words come to fruition
In the fire's blast.

I have been gone
Too many years
Expired thought
My poetic mind
But alas,
True iron wrought

My pain dribbled
Syncope drawn
To the fain of a loving heart
Gone

So, joy!
I'm here again.
Words prove to be
My longest friend.

I know I sound like a nerd
But I miss school.
The herd of people,
The cool of autumn.
I miss school.

I miss the education,
That fills the nation,
August through June.

I miss my friends,
That have no end,
With hearts of gold,
That never get old.

I miss that plain brick building
That old traffic lane
All of those security clicks
Shielding us children from the world outside

I do miss school
I know I sound like a fool
But I miss school.

A vine
A wanting, loving vine
is buried deep inside

The way the vine curls
Depends on the day
Sometimes towards the bright disk of eternity
Other times to the enchanting dusk

Once a day
I let it free
The vine wraps a soothing embrace
Around my soul
As my cords vibrate
Forming a sweet vibrato
A solemn alto
A clear soprano
Acapella
To nothing but my own head

Experimenting
Finding my sound
The vine finding its crutch  
Trying to climb its way
To the top
But still unrecognized
And hidden

I've apologized
And wondered why
I did that to you

I've done my share of lying
Then my share of crying
Oh what did I do?

And then by kindness and loyalty
You stay with me
A girl you met
Over the Internet
Whose been well abandoned
You're amazing in that way

I am but a foolish girl
With too many words
Not knowing how much weight
Hangs on those words
I admit it
I admit it!

Yes,
Not uneducated
But stupid nonetheless
And you placed your trust in me
And so I did trespass

Now you're stuck
In the invisible muck
I didn't mean to create
I can't go back
And change what I have done
So now I'm stuck too
Cause I don't know
Nor do you know
What to do next

We've already tried to drop the reins
But still this remains
I guess all we can try to do
Is repair this 'ship
But you can't trust me
You can't love me
And neither can I

I'm desperate for a way
To go back in time
And erase the blip
That damaged the 'ship

And so the Titanic sinks slower and slower
To Poseidon's lair
And we can't seem to get anywhere
One barely alive
The other full of life,
But guilt in her heart

Lost, lost, lost
Dark, dark, dark
Just echos, echos, echos of the past
That doesn't seem to ever last

Here I am, just brushin' up on my notes
that someday, I'll sing to you in person
That like everything else
In this world
These days
Everything becomes a someday...

But how much time do you truly have to fit in all those
Long gone promised memories
Known as somedays

An old man once said to me
"I'd like to see the Eiffel Tower"
He knew his days were runnin' out
But his wish turned into a someday
When he passed away
Passed away

Life is too short
To keep saying things
Without meanin' it all
And actin' upon it

I knew this couple long ago
Where they went nobody knows
But they once said
"Someday, we'll go to California
Raise our kids just like we wanna."
I think they made their wish come true...

Life is better when you act
Upon every single wish
Don't leave any unanswered
Call them all back to memories
From child to old
Everyone says something that turns into a someday...

And time passes fast as it always did
And time stands still for no one
So just do it...
Don't waste in the only life you have
Live moment to moment
Always taken a chance
Oh yeah

But lesson learned
Don't be the old man
And waste all your time...

In the state of the Lone Star,
the sun begins to pound on my pale skin
As summer begins

I'm out of school
I'm out of a social life
I'm flooded in books
Required and wanted alike

Sweltering heat makes the air thick
Like sweet Southern molasses
The mosquitoes are out full force
And the ants are too

Old ladies and men on porch swings
Speaking quietly to themselves
The young and active squabble in yards and pools
Whilst under parent's watchful eye
The young and geeky sit in front of screens
Fingers and thumbs moving away

Freedom
The boiling *** of summer freedom
Drips on the stove of the people
Calming them into summer's lazy drift...

Those are the realities of a Southern Summer.

A summer night is full of ephermal things
Doing activities to make you happy for a little bit
Just to pass time
Just to distract from the lack of something
Or someone
Messing with technology so I don't daydream about us
Listening to music so I don't think about the way you looked in the moonlight
Doing anything so I don't think about how much I miss you

But when I do think of my longing for you,
I cry.

I accept my fate at last
I burned you
You turned on me
Goodbye forever
I don't need you any more
Than you need me
Dead weight you were
For weeks now
I've just been too kind to say anything
Throw your darts all you want
Spit your poison
And fire your guns
I don't give a flip

Love,
It is part sweet, part sour.
It may only last an a hour,
But that could be the best hour
U ever spent
With no intent
Of falling deep into the delightful pit of love

Please keep an open heart and soul,
But most importantly wide eyes
'Cause love comes
When you least expect it.

The ecstasy of such a simple childhood thing
Swinging on the playground
You don't realize how joyful it makes you feel
Till you do it once more
And feel leg stretching familiarity
Wind racing past
Scenes blurred
Edges of lips curving towards a blue sky
The freedom of flying for just a little while...

You are a contradiction
You teach poetry and the art of English
You are such a good teacher
You scare the heck out of most people
You look so menacing
You talk so odd
You have so many rumors about how cruel you are
I don't think you're cruel
Just strict
At my age, that's what we need
But you are a good person
Kind to those who are the same to you
I think you are one of my favorite teachers ever
Thank you, Ms. Patterson

I know I don't post much anymore
But to this I keep score
How thankful I am of y'all :)

You listen to my jabbering rhymes
In the best and worst times
And support me always :)

33 of you there are
Enough to fill many many cars
National and international :)

Some write sad songs
Others really long
Some of y'all write both :)

And to the ones that have became friends to me
I thank you most of all
For sticking by me
No matter the fall :)

Thank you followers :)

Young painter
Canvas
Beautiful blues, fresh fushias, sentimental sea green

Paint brushes
Soft bristles tickle the surface of the canvas
Creating a picture of pure happiness

What does it look like? Can you see it?

The painter smiles softly
Admiring his work
And leaves it out to dry

And plays a guitar smoothly

Can you hear it?

Waiting...

I don't get why
Poetry has to be so sweet
So delicate
All about love
And all the sweetest things of life
Don't poets know that life
Has another side?
It has a side of metal
Hate is loved
Love is hated
People are violent
Absurdly negative
And harmful to themselves
And everyone else
Death is celebrated
Life, not so much

That's the Dark Side of Poetry.

The Genius
Philosophizing the universe
One who thinks of quadratic theories of space and time
On his free time
The one who thinks of beautiful poetry
To a delightful muse

The Madman
Inventing ways he can put math to his cause
Always thinking of things to invent
Ideas- a storm of them
Intelligence- enormously, yes
Standing behind a corner
Stalking his love

I ask you:
Is there much difference between madmen and geniuses? Aren't they the same?

Shining in the moonlight,
I see the glass wall.
And through the other side,
I see you.
You see me too.
We get ever so close,
But we can never touch.
Some days the glass is so thin,
It can be matched with a spider's thread,
While other days it seems miles wide,
A thick barrier of regret.
Today, your palms are splayed on your side of the glass,
Mine follow suit.
I peer into those hazel eyes of mystery,
And I see everything:
I see your love for me.
I see your inner beauty.
I see your demons.
Your temper, your desire to be the best.
I see it all.
Maybe you look into my green eyes from the other side,
And see the same in me:
See my beauty,
See my love for you,
See my underlying trust in you,
See my past,
See my pain,
My dying hope for the future...

My only true wish:
To break this glass wall,
To touch you,
To kiss you,
To hold you,
To love you how I long to
To say all the words that don't sound right without the backing of presence...

But until the time of destiny shall come
I must endure this pain,
Try to maintain whatever hope I have left,
And wait here at the glass.
I hope you do the same...

A whispy hand reaches down to flip over a bronze device of tremendous proportions

Numb is all she feels
As she sees her life s
                                         p
                                          n    i
               ­                       i      g     r
                                         l        a
Out of control.

The only life this girl has ever known
Has been ripped out
Like a rug
Right beneath her feet.

Now, knowing the foreseeable future uncertain,
She feels so much more than numb.
Loneliness, sorrow fill this only child's ****** cavities,
To where the Novocain smiles and laughs of the sun are blessings,
But the sobering dark is a curse.

For only now has this teenage girl set her roots in deep,
Gotten attached to the life
That now proves so temporary,
Flimsy like a piece of paper.
Social nuances and schoolwork
No longer seem to matter in the grand scheme of things,
I'll be gone soon enough,* she thinks...

It's best to detach early
From this ephemeral life,
So maybe it won't hurt so much
When it's all blown away,
Like cigarette smoke in the wind.

Lonliness drives itself into her bones,
Trapping the girl in her own internal world.
One which says
"It doesn't matter anymore."

*The golden sand of the bronze hourglass slips on,
As I slip away...
Begging for a new life,
But praying the old will stay.

At times He is my friend
But never my enemy

Sometimes, when life is sour
I greatly dislike Him for an hour
But He always loves me

Although I don't read His Book
As often as I should
Don't praise His name daily
Or go to church every Sunday
He still accepts me and loves me as His own

To this, all I have to say is
Thank you.

There are so many aspects of a person to remember
Their face, eyes, weight, voice, their name...
The things I remember the most are
Their eyes, face, name, and...
Scent
If it was exotic, comforting, addicting, sweet, spicy...
How odd is that?

The people you love the most
Will always betray you the worst

The people you hate
Will be the ones that help you

Your "friends"
Will be the first people to ditch you

The people you never thought of
Will love you
When no one else will

It's The People you least expect...

Do you ever feel like
The person behind the poem,
You know 'em?
Though they live thousands of miles away
And you don't talk the day

Do you ever feel like
You wanna get to know 'em
The behind the poem?
Their traits, their flaws,
Just cause.

People one,
People all.
Learn about someone,
Someone today.
It just might make their day,
Knowing someone out there cares,
When no inside seems to,

The Snake
Thieving
Heart of stone
Tears none
Venom kills

The Rose
Passionate
Heart of soft aluminum
Tears plenty
Perfume enchanting

What happens when these two collide?
Does the Snake win? The Rose maybe?

No one ever wins.
The Snake finds out that its heart isn't so bulletproof
And the Rose finds out that love isn't kind to the sweet

No one ever wins.