Isn't it sickening this life we live?

Every day someone dies of suicide,
Every day someone loses their mind,
Every day someone cries,
Every day someone looks for something they can't find.

I lost a part of myself
The day you walked away from me.
The part that loved,
The part that felt.

I used to love the bay where we watched the sunset,
now it's polluted with
sickly sweet people with their hands intertwined
with people they think they love.

We used to listen to John Mayer on the stereo
every night before we sleep,
I traced endless patterns on you bare chest,
your fingers tangled in my messy curls,
now I hate his songs because they remind of you,
so and so that they make me cry.

You used to take me to long drives
in midnight,
now you made me an insomniac who
wants nothing to do with the midnight
because it's when memories of you haunt me.

You took from me
A part I'm never getting back,
A part that took more than half of my being.
Because now I realized,
once you were gone,
I was also gone.

There's so much of you
I want to see
There's so much of you
I want to hear
There's so much of you
I want to feel
There's so much of you
I want to know

I want to delve in deeper
Into your mind
I'd like to hear the nothings you whisper
You murmur when you're about to go to bed
I'd love to get to know the soul
That's perfect inside
I'd like to wake up next to you each morning
And hear you snore lightly

There's so much of you
I want to  *love

You are the center of my poetical universe.
You are the sun that my pieces revolve around.

I was the one who loved you from the start,
The only one who ever appreciated
The kind of man you are.

I never got to know your heart,
I never got to see your soul,
I never know what's going on in your mind.
I know your name, I know how you look like,
But I don't really know who you are.

Which is why I'd sound stupid if I ever said
I  love  you
I don't know why, but I do.

You are the center of my world,
The only thing that my mind revolves around
When I'm bored out of my mind during class.

You're all these things to me,
But I bet you'd never even given me
A second of thought during the day.

But there's that seedling of hope,
Deep within me,
Not asking for much,
Just at least think of me.

i know now that you're long gone
from the tight grasp we once held each other in

we were kids. i get that.
young and naive, gullible as to what our friends say.
with a distorted image of love
because of the movies we see on the screen

the first time we whispered our i  love  yous
it was awkward until our giggles filled up the air
and that's when i knew i spoke the truth

when you left me alone, you never said good bye
you were literally just gone
you left my heart in a distinct contortion
and that's when i felt such desperation

To the first boy I've ever loved,
When you come across this poem,
Don't hesitate, you know **** well that it's about you.
Cause the only thing you've taught me is
Forever isn't true.

i kiss the tips of your calloused fingers
and it reminds me of the time
you used to silently serenade me
at midnight

i hug your bare chest
and i remember how i laid
down with you
my ears close to your heartbeat

i kiss your soft plump lips
and i taste the sweetness
that i've always loved
while you always took my breath away
even in between kisses

i look at our picture
and i look at you, i remember you
now just a figment of my memory
that i've learned to recreate
in these empty sheets
cold on your side of the bed
reminding me that you're
gone gone *gone

i hear my heartbeat
in my ears
that's when i know
that the tears come near

i find it hard to admit
that i am completely
and utterly infatuated with you

and i hate it
why? you ask
because we're almost like best friends
and that's the only way you'll ever see me

some girls are meant to be a girl friend
some girls are meant to be a best friend

& unfortunately
i'm the latter