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 Mar 2014 David
bxtch
I'm Sorry
 Mar 2014 David
bxtch
I'm not the poet who uses sophisticated language
I'm not the kid my parents would be proud of
I'm not the student the teacher praises
I'm not the friend who people turn to

I'm not anyone's best friend
I'm not anyone's favorite
I'm not anyone's first choice
I'm not even my own believer

I want to fix my life
Yet I want to end it
I want to be better
Yet I'm tired of trying

What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be.
 Mar 2014 David
Lisa Parker
Why let your spirit die with each rising sun and moonlit sky
Why feel the pain of where angels fly
Why take time to hurt inside when the warmth and beauty of God's will can fulfill your heart and give you light
I long for a day of smiles, a playful day, a feeling of being fine
I long for your light inside you to shine
 Mar 2014 David
aiv
Should I?
 Mar 2014 David
aiv
maybe i should give up
it's not worth it
maybe i should give up
and try to move on
'cause this love
will lead to nothing
but endless expectations
that maybe one day
you'll come back
and tell me
it's me, it has always been,
the girl you dream about
the girl you think before you sleep
the girl you want to be with
forever
until your last breath
 Mar 2014 David
xxxx
Six weeks strong
Wounds have healed
Tried to stop an addiction
But became so unhappy
Thoughts became worse
More pessimistic
Demons won't stop pestering
Self hatred grew stronger
Turned to the pain
Knowing that it is just an illusion
Thinking it would help escape
The struggles of life
Relapsed; 6 weeks being clean went down the drain.
Not the best poem I have ever written but I just had to let it out.

/drdc/
 Mar 2014 David
Morgan
It's a beautiful night
and I wish it was enough
to keep my mind from racing
It's getting warmer
and I wish it was enough
to melt the ice in your veins
You've been listening to too much
Nirvana
I've been thinking too much
about what you've been doing
I used to argue with you
for chain smoking on the edge
of your bed
at 3 in the morning
If you saw me now
you'd call me a hypocrite
And I'd probably laugh it off
Like I wasn't ashamed of
the way I've been living
Last May
I covered my scars in tattoos
Cause you said it'd stop me
from making new ones
But you didn't calculate
how much flesh is on a human's body
If you saw me now
you'd ask me how
I let it get this bad
And I'd probably act like
I knew the answer
Ha
I heard you got lost on the way
to your new job
and turned around
Well
I know
I was always the first
to call you stubborn
But
If you saw me now
You'd call me a ******* hypocrite
*Cause I've been lost for so long
And I can't remember the last time
I stopped to ask for directions
 Mar 2014 David
Morgan
A trash can full
Of fragmented sentences
Held between red margins
And blue lines,
They poured out all over your
Bedroom floor, with torn edges;
You'd say that
No combination of words
Ever conveyed
Your feelings right
On the first try;
So I guess that's why
The first time you said
"I love you"
You took it back three weeks
Later and said
"No I just need you"
And I guess that's why
The first time you said
"No I just need you",
You reminded me how thin the line
Between necessity and desire
Is an hour later
And I guess that's why
The first time you said
"I can't do this"
You did it anyway
Over and over
And over again
And I guess that's why
the first time you called to say
You missed me
You really meant
You were lonely;
You never got it right on the first try
But you were a perfectionist
And you hated to leave things unfinished
So, you took your time
Ripping me into a million
Fragmented sentences
And throwing more of me away
With every passing day
Until I was a pile of bones
Stitched together with nothing
Except your
Bed sheets
And a black V-neck
Sweater;
Hollowed out
And expressionless,
I never looked better;
Once I had nothing left
To throw away
You pinned me up
And left me hanging;
Hanging on
Your words
Like an animal in a cage,
Swallowing bits and pieces
Of your affection as
You'd occasionally
Toss some at my feet;
I've been tongue tied for three years
You've been spitting words down my neck
But I can hardly taste them anymore,
So when I melt
Into your arms
For an other night in a row
Just know
It was never enough
 Mar 2014 David
Morgan
grey summer
 Mar 2014 David
Morgan
-
I thought a tattoo gun
and different shades of grey
would make me feel like a painting
I thought a cigarette between my finger tips
would make me feel like a poem
I thought if I sat in enough coffee shops
and read enough news articles
I'd be the kind of person
other people wanted to fall in love with
I thought if I lost
ten pounds and took Polaroids
of myself sipping lemonade
in a bathing suit,
you'd wish you hadn't
cracked me open
and picked me apart
every night for three years
of our lives
but the ink made me feel exposed
and the cigarettes made me feel like
I was standing at a truck stop
and the coffee shops were lonely
and the news articles were boring
and I lost more than weight that summer
and I took more than Polaroids
and I drank more than lemonade
and I cracked myself open
and I picked myself apart
and I forgot what I was doing
in the first place
but I couldn't make it stop
 Mar 2014 David
Morgan
eternity
 Mar 2014 David
Morgan
he interrupted me
in the middle of
an earth shatteringly
pointless story
to tell me i had
a cute laugh,
in a smoke-filled
garage infront of
all of our friends.
i said,
"alright dude
*******"


that night
i slept in the fetal
position with four blankets
and craved his skin so
bad i didn't even notice
that i bit my lip
until the pool of blood
collecting inside the deep ditch
of my gums, began to taste
of hot metal

today he texted me
while i was at work
and asked if he could
bring me a coffee
i looked at myself
in the bathroom mirror,
sighed and told him
we were busy
then i bought a
coffee for myself,
let the bitter sweet
warm liquid
linger on my tongue
and pretended
it was his lips

alone is a state of being
and i have never been alone,
lonely is a state of mind
and i have never been anything but
 Feb 2014 David
Eliza Sterling
In a peculiar, far off, world, time and place,
The trivial past would be irrelevant, chased away then erased.
Contrary to the reality of distorted lies in front of my face,
These eyes cannot mask fraudulence or disgrace.
Chasing them down with a trace of a defaced case of toxic waste,
I pace as my thoughts race of the time that’s left until I dissipate.
Looking into the murky vase with dying flowers desperate to be replaced,
Misplaced to the one who’d obliterate the beauty I once embraced.

Within my sorrow I woke, shattered love replaced with a heart no longer broke.
Soaked with what I could never cope, I felt passion and choked on my once false hope.
This vision evoked a note; a call of duty for you, my eternity to devote.
Instinctively I knew, the words stuck in my throat, but blindly every incline eventually has a *****.
Surrounded by mirrors shielded with smoke,
As we stared we shared yet nothing we spoke.
Your presence was felt but disguised with a cloak,
Confined in your skin, comfortably lost afloat, for your soul I searched to perpetually stroke.

With blurred vision I envisioned, stood silent, anxious of your condition,
Division of indecision was nothing less than your frightened inquisition.
A hallucination on a mission of who was out to hurt you with consistence,
I understood as you tried to piece together the suspicion of our composition.
Guarded and in position to react upon intuition then the smoke disappeared and you saw our reflection.
No longer was my presence an imposition now in recognition you accepted the ignition of a united evolution.
Successful revision disposed internal superstition,
Our collision created a premonition for our future decisions of precision.

The past’s paths we chose were restricted to our addiction and careless indifference,
The assistance of negative influence stripped us of our innocence.
Blood shot eyes, negligence of appearance, abstracted resistance only creating distance.
Ambiguous and inexperienced, taking shots and hits in an instance,
Distorted images, lacking clarity, the abuse of substance left an absence of existence.
Building tolerance whilst sabotaging resilience, guilty and unable to admit repentance,
Without a witness, secret and safe, no justice to serve and no one to listen.
A mission incomplete and persistent,
We continue to envelope in our disappearance.

In the seam of my sickness I submerge within these contaminated nerves,
Fearing the silence with thirst not to be disturbed,
But absurdly I yearned your unhealthy and perplexed words to be heard,
My tender nature reserved an exclusive place to keep you conserved,
Unstable but concerned I’d preserve you like an herb,
I slurred for forgiveness but observed perhaps this was my turn,
But with your freedom you turned away and flew away like a bird.
Now relentless and pure I burn the surface of my figure, no intent to return.

Yet once we were young, wild and free,
Conducting our train with no fear of where we’d soon be,
The sweet breeze guaranteed the destination with ease,
Imagination without knowledge, amid glee and degree,  
We’d dive and rise above the salty sea,
Later meet beneath that tree with belief the starry sky we’d seize,
Through the debris you still held in your hand the key,
And we’d conquer our dreams, what we sought and believed.

But as I’ve grown within my questioning dome,
My home of stones has nothing to be shown,
Prone to disown my weakened skin and bones,
Candidly I pacify the clone I’ve never known.
In hopes to be flown far ahead of this zone,
I’d hover above in a whispering tone, draining my disease as it’s blown.
My soul will glisten and roam, looking down at my new golden throne,
As I’ve postponed to recognize the beauty of the Earth & my own – No longer shall I be alone.

— The End —