Nightmares - Hello Poetry

Dec 2014

MysteryBear

*****

My eyes fight to shield me from the dark
With my last waking nerve I think of wrong and right
How much I want to be a good person
Why the devil is so fond of using me as a pawn when clearly I am a queen
Or at least I'm trying to be
I can go anywhere I want but not like a knight
For I am not chivalrous enough
The tides of disease will rush in to take you
But I will not move a muscle for I am grounded from moving in the way of an L...
As in Love

Chess metaphors at night. I bet the title got your attention.

#love #death #chess #knight #devil #drowning #tired #metaphors #queen #disease

Dec 2014

Liz And Lilacs

Yule

Happy Yule,
The winter equinox, you know,
It's the darkest day of year.
And yet I feel the safest,
Drinking hot cocoa,
Away from the terrors of the world

Dec 2014

Just Melz

Pop

pop
Pop
POP
Pop another two down
Swallow
Take a good look around
No one saw the
Sorrow
The tears forming
I hold them back
As I wait for two more to kick in
pop
Pop
POP
Pop as many as I need to take
I need to be numb
I lie
Say the tears are *fake
I cry
deny
Deny
DENY
Deny I feel anything
I feel NOTHING
Don't look at me
Oh
Now I can't breathe
Must be anxiety
pop
Pop
POP
Pop another three
Please...
Pretty little pills
Take this pain away from me
Without you
I feel the truth
#toomuchtohandle
I'm feeling used
Abused
Emotionally consumed
pop
Pop
POP
Pop a few more
Starting to pass out
On the bathroom floor
You were my cure
Now I'm disease ridden
I'll never be pure
But these pills keep the tears hidden
pop
Pop
POP
Popping all these pills
At least my story's already been written

#dying #pills #addiction #pain #drugs #tears #hurt #sorrow #story #toomuchtohandle

Dec 2014

Beaux

What you see, What you say, What happens

You look at me and see my tattoos
You look at me and see my piercings
You look at me and see my colored hair
You think I'm a useless punk
You look at me and see my long hair
You look at me and see my short, shorts
You look at me and see my white skin
You think I'm a stereotypical b*tch
You look at me and see my shaggy hair
You look at me and see I dress similar to guys
You look at me and see me hug my friend
You think I'm a lesbian
You look at me and see me dance
You look at me and see my small frame
You look at me and see a girly face
You think I'm a trans
You look at me and see my flaws
You look at me and judge
You look at me and make a comment
A rumor spreads
I get arrested for a false accusation
I lose my good reputation
I get food thrown at me
I get laughed at when I go down the halls
What happened because of you
I became a felon
I end up a drop out
I commit suicide
I get abandoned by my parents
You put it all off track
Your words killed my chances
You ruined my life

This was written to say: Even if you don't beat them up or yell names in their faces its still bullying to talk bad about someone behind their back. What you say isn't always true and don't believe everything people tell you. This is to show how you can effect people's lives. Don't say that it's over dramatic. Those are true stories.

#life #abuse #bullying #ruined #magicath

Dec 2014

The Girl Who Loves You

I'm Tired

I'm tired
Tired of trying
Of being the nice girl
Of everyone calling me a sweetheart
Tired of always being the second choice
Of constantly having my life fall apart
Of having no one write me love poems
Tired of having nothing
Of never getting what I want
Of being so lonely
Of never getting what I deserve
Tired of feeling so **** sad
Of never getting the chance to be happy
Of thinking back to that knife
I'm so tired of being tired
I'm just tired of life

I don't wanna be tried
I thought you'd help me finally sleep
Now, my tiredness causes nightmares
And I've given up my chance at my dream

#love #pain #loss #lost #dreams #you #me #tired #nightmares

Dec 2014

Creep

Oops

WHERE ARE YOU?!
STAY!!!
I love you more than anything else.
Don't leave, I need you, we need you.
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough,
but hear my plea...
Don't. Leave.
-breaks down and starts to cry-
You mean everything to me...
I love you.
It's not too late to stop,
we'll work things out!
Just don't go!

i worry too much... *sighs*

help!
by the beatles

Dec 2014

Liz And Lilacs

Believe me

If I told you I was happy, would you believe me?
I mean, I smiled, didn't I?
But you didn't see the scars
Or the bruises...
The red, tear stained eyes
The ****** torn cuticles
The anxiety attacks
You didn't hear the thoughts
screaming in my head.
You didn't see the poetry,
Or the sadness etched in my soul.
But you believe me, right?
I'm happy.
Believe me.

Please?

Dec 2014

The Girl Who Loves You

The Coffee Beans Are Made Of Nightmares and Despair

My tears are laced with sorrow
Making puddles that I'll fall in tomorrow
And I'll forget the love and joy
That I once borrowed
I've given it back
Without realizing that
The pain and hurt I use to fill my coffee
Just makes every sip all the more bitter
But with every drink I pour,
I lose another day of life
So I use my tears as creamer
And your words, jokes and humor
As the sugar
Yet nothing gets sweeter
And **I'll die all the more sooner

Sorry... I just gotta write it out...

#love #pain #tears #loss #coffee #hurt #despair #nightmares #cryingallnightlong #idontwannatellyoucausethenyoullfeelworse

Dec 2014

The Girl Who Loves You

How Could I?

You want me to HATE you?
        To yell, cuss and scream?
How could I do that to you?
             I'm living a nightmare,
      and you're my dream...

You want me to call you names?
    Say you're an *******, idiot, and worthless?
          How could I do that to you?
    You're my only star,
           when I'm feeling hopeless

You want me to give you,
         What you think you deserve?
   Say you hurt me by being evasive, cowardly and untrue?
        How could I do that to you?
    I don't lie to or hurt the people I love...
          And you simply mean too much

       You want me to tell you a secret?
    Tell you how I'm hurt, crying and ashamed?
         How could I? It's not really true.
     You're stuck in my heart for good
And I've already forgiven you.

This is me, officially forgiving you... I don't want you to feel guilty, please.

#love #friends #sad #life #pain #guilty #how #forgiven #youreforgivenseriously #itstillhurtssomuchbutillmanage

Dec 2014

Liz And Lilacs

Guilty

The horrid things that you have done,

                        Do they haunt you in the night?

                                          Do you lie awake  regretting it all?

                         I hope you're afraid of yourself,

Because I'm afraid of you, too.

Dec 2014

Fish The Pig

Scared

I don't want to go home
don't make me go home
I'm trying my best
but failing
I can't stop crying
I'm so scared
please don't make me go home
I don't want to go home

but I have nowhere else to go.

I have a two week break,
I've packed food in my closet and put a chair against the door,
I will not leave until I have to.