I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to lust
Tied to abuse

I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to pain
Tied to you

I'm afraid to ask
for fear of disappointment
but do you remember
what you meant to me
you pervert
in the back of the room
all the ***** jokes
they changed
into prayers
not too sure which
I miss more
dancing in the bowling alley
your contacts traded for
glasses that are a turn on
the beach
with me wearing
your pants
on the subway home
no flashlights in the dark
tripping into each other
on through the orchard
my cheek brushing
your unshaven face
me clasped tight
not wanting to let go
do you remember
the conversations we had
how could you
just let go so easily
and start a new life
when you're the only one I ever had

You whisper into my ear at record pace
I could walk away but it would only start a chase
I whimper as you grab me and pull me back by my hair
Desperately I cast sideways glaces to avoid meeting your stare
I feel you pressing against me
Cocking
Your head in time with your gun
I hate how you always get me
Soaking
Trying to drown out my hearts thrum
Casting my thoughts to the angry tide
Needing to avoid your wild rides
Your highs too high and your lows bottomless
It's been years and I don't see a way out of this
You huff a laugh against the column of my throat
My mind within an ocean praying for a line or a boat
The cuts have been too deep
Your blood's mixed in with mine
I wish I could find peace through sleep
But you're still there behind my eyes

Hands on my throat always crushing me down, putting me out, and turning me on
I don't know how you got here but won't you stay and laugh dear
Know one needs to know what we do when we're alone
She don't even miss you and he will never know
Intoxicatingly delicious, so much so it's suspicious
How can you taste so good when the flavor's all wrong
Not sure what I'm doing but I promise I won't stay long
Pin me, choke me, bruise me colorful until I'm pacified
Scream until your throat bleeds every time your heart beats
Necromancy not love, just enough to pretend we're alive
Our fingertips glow in red hot brands leaving us hissing
Cut open from sharp tongues clashing and kissing
Leave through the window never the door
Or you might knock again and ask me for more

who would know
   burns so sweet
      stings like salt
         reach so deep
            head tipped back
        twisted little girl
who would know
   fingers curled tight
      red stains faded
         nails deeply embedded
            tooth shredded tongue
        broken little girl
who would know
    who would know
        do you know

In pink she skips through the grass
She laughs at the butterflies
She basks in the warm sunshine

In white she soars through the sky
She jumps with the summer sun
She runs with the winter winds

In black she walks through the dark
She cries with the midnight moon
She screams at the stars above

In red she rests in our hearts
She sits among the flowers
She stands among the mourning

If only you could see us
Together again for you
All of us in black and red

If only we could show you
How many people love you
All the lives you’ve touched and changed

If only I could call you
Tell you how much I miss you
Tell you how much I love you

You didn’t have to leave us
You didn’t have to do it
You didn’t have to give up

I’m begging you to come back
I’m begging you to stay here
I’m begging you to live

I’m sorry for all the pain
I’m sorry for all the loss
You deserved to have better

Living was hard, I know it was
I’m so proud of you for trying
I can’t wait to see you again


“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I’ve been changed for good.” -For Good, Wicked