An eruption of exuberance
To thrill the dawn with light
And dance flowers in the breeze,
Still fresh from the bed's wallow.
To break the snoring drift
Towards the eye glistening moment of waking.

And then all these senses rush at once
To ferret and fidget the confines of my flesh
To dance their whirligig explosions in my blood
With eager threads of excitement pulsing in my skin
To chase the schoolboy morning
beyond the hills
With rattling bicycles on muddy trails.

I stutter out the flush and form in words
Darting thus and fro across the screen
like electric jangling
From the dangling fingers
Wrangling with the hammering keys
As if these magic notions could fluster
Beyond the moments of my joy.

My soul aches to be OUT THERE!
Beyond those moments of joy
Beyond the sleeping bedrooms
Beyond the bicycles
Beyond the hills, and flowers and sky
I want to spiral like galaxies
And dance with planets on the pin cushion dark
Sparkled with stars and clustered nebulae.

I really can’t believe, sometimes,
That all this sense of being
Could be contained in me.

Tick tock
        Tick tock
                 Tick tock

It's already 5am
And here I am
Wide awake

As thoughts run
Through my head
Like a bullet train

Am I relapsing again?
Or I'm just on the edge
Waiting for a helping hand?

Or maybe I'm letting it be
For I've missed
Insanity to seep inside of me

Seeing that I am able to write
Shows clearly that
Hypomania has arrived.

Welcome back,
                 My frenemy.

Check every treeline,
the enemy lurks there.
Get used to people acting
like you are tainted.
Scan the rooftops when you walk;
examine the bushes.
When entering a public space,
look for an alternative exit.
Notice every face you see;
especially children, you never know.
Self-medicate. Whatever it takes.
Whiskey for breakfast, speed for lunch,
****** for dinner. **** their opinions.
Spend endless hours talking
with clueless shrinks and doctors.
Spin violently when anyone
taps you on the shoulder.
Strain your ears for the sound
of long silent mortars.
Never sit with your back to a door.
Remember Wild Bill.
Keep a weapon nearby when you sleep,
if you do.
Cringe like a beaten dog
at every loud noise.
Worry about everything because
you know the world wants to **** you,
because you know what expendable means.
Repeat all of this and more for 45 years
until your brain feels
like sloppy scrambled eggs.
And, of course,
don't forget to love your country.

  ~mce

I do not love like this
I don't love like this
but I am learning

I burn between kissing you
what I can't have wholly
& somehow I am full
too aware of what I'm doing to be foolish
I rule out sound
birds
birds
you've taken both turns
I am laying
I am left
but am not without

I must front torture to embrace love -
without fire, I cannot burn
I cannot live without that heat
char instead of ink just to write it down

we are singing a song now
quiet
you are asleep & I am dancing in the heaviness of your breathing

this bed is not a nightclub
your knees hurt
& I have never seen anything so beautiful

He has a she, a her, a heart not mine
I could not keep his ego fed
Sharp jagged words, on black and white pages
Here is where the story bled

I was so close,
Last night,
And you stopped me,
Why?

Do you hate me,
That ******* much,
I'm hurting,
Broken,
Disgusted with myself,
Sick in many ways,

I don't see why you,
Insist to keep me here,
Let me go,
I know it'll hurt,
But let me go,
Because one big thing is,

I don't want to be here without you,
I told you that,
Yet I am,
So let me go away,
To another place,
And just stay there,
For a good bit,
We will meet up someday.

I once had a friend who when we always used to play, played dead
I used to think it was really funny, those memories stay in my head
We would run around laughing
Where we would always be catching
Each other, trying to the other
I know that there will never be another
One day, while I was waiting for him to come over
I received the news...
And I still tell myself to this day...
He's just playing dead...

She Layed Her Head On His Chest
And Her Thoughts Wondered Why
His Heart Screams Out So Silently.

Why. It's Always Banging On His Chest. But No One Seems To Answer.

And He Replied: It's Been Trapped In This Sad Body Since The Beginning Of My Existence.
It Wants To Escape. But No One Seems To Set Free Into The Light.

It Finally Gave Up.
Made Friends With The Darkness.
Shared Ancient Stories.
Shared Emotions With The Razor.

And The Razor Understood All Its
Problems.
The Razor Then Smiled At The Sad Wrist.
And After A While, It Said.
Look, You're Smiling Too. :)

I floated in you as
we ran and you held me
against the wall
and I was very inside
your arms, I was
in you.

He came down as we got
high. You had me on
lock down because I
ran through the basement
and you couldn't keep up
very well. As they questioned
my ability to keep running
as my lips stuck to my teeth.

Staring at you across the room
your eyes raked my body
and your knees shaked.
I'm pretty sure you bit your
lip and stared at me
for awhile.

I was tripping in the hallway when
you came out.
The wall was liquid
and I was painting
with it.
I'm friends with your kind
of ex girlfriend
and I want to feel her
skin against mine.
I want her bones to
grind with me.
And I know I'm very ******
up right now.
But I'm floating in a crowd
and somehow I'm holding
my bladder down.
I am air
and nothing can touch me.

I have to be the image of
perfection soon.
So help me god,
I am no where near
having a halo.

My skin crawls
with the broken
promises you keep
picking out of your
teeth.

But I have my share
of those underneath my
fingernails so I guess
I shouldn't open my mouth.

We all have lies tucked
under our tongue
like the pills of a stubborn
mental patient.

My spine shivers
with the fact
you probably moaned
in her ear like
you do mine
and I feel needles
***** my skin
as I think of you
saying I'm no longer
needed.
But the way you
pushed me against
a brick wall, and
balled your hand in
my hair and held
me like I was
the only safety you had
during a hurricane
had me a bit dizzy.

You didn't know what
you were doing without
me, and then wished
you had never talked
to me.

But the way you
smirked as I moaned
your name
and the way you
inched your way
through my brick walls
has me obsessed
with you again.

You're a dark knight
and your armour
doesn't exist.
The only protection
you have is your
******* attitude.

I once said your
eyes were lassos
around my waist
and I never realized
how true that was.

Because it doesn't
matter what you do.
For some reason I
keep going back to you.

Like worms in the pit of
apples there are maggots
in the pit of my veins.

I am fossil fuel and
I'll run out eventually.
You can't depend on me.
   My skin is a monument
   and I am slowly chipping
   away.

Every lake is Elaura's
but they're still puddles
grass as tall as trees.
   Vines digging through
my cochlea, swishing the
liquid and I swear I
hear god coming.

The nineteenth you kissed
me. She was in your mind
all night and you stayed with
the man who declared me
"Mine."

My skin is crawling of nightmares.
and my eyes have spiderwebs
in them. Cobwebs of dead love
growing on my eyelashes.
   Don't expect me to cry.
   My tears are just dew
   on the grass above my
   grave.
     My tears are just acid
     rain decaying my memory.

The sharpie we swear
will stay decays under
my nails.

"I didn't try to **** myself."
    I'm out in four days.
"I was just ******."
    And these burns mean nothing.
I lie so often I don't know
what honesty means.
    I read it backwards
    spell it with an "A"
and now honesty just means
    a complicated puzzle and
    a kindergarten mind.

My veins are so twisted
I don't even know if they
pump blood right.

I don't really think I'm
alive.

He said he no longer knows
the person who wears my
mask of a face.
   The bones are ripping through,
   and I feel Jekyll coming out
   of Hyde.

I'll fall off cliffs and land
in lava before you work out
the knots of tree branches
in my joints.

   My tendons are worms
and my bones are cracked concrete
that you can't fix by pouring
more in me.

It tastes worse than brick
going into my lungs but I
stick it there
like a lock and moan
as it pierces my heart
and breaks a few ribs.
   Because it's smoke.
   I asked for the pain
   and enjoyed all three
   ****** of sharks puncturing
my arteries.
  
My heart is metal
but you still short
circuit
my mother board and
I swear this ship is
going down.

Let's make it the Titanic.
or maybe Romeo and Juliet.
Have people romanticize our
tragedy.

Then I'll smile through
my tears.
   Maybe we can bow during
   the standing ovation too.

Did you ever think it would end, this dream?
This dream is on the frying pan.

Did you ever think that moan you heard would turn into a
       scream?
For shame, it has; she's boiling, you know.

I want to tell you everything, so you can tell me anything.
I've found the center of your mind.

Did you ever think you'd eat again, after that meal exploded?
It was the boiling fat.

I want to tell you, love me do.
When'd you dream of that?

"No," she said, "I love the girls."

My heart feels sorta flat.

Dreams come true
And sometimes they lie.
Tell me true, am I just a guy?

Me and you
Oh, how time flied.
What's it mean?
Still glad I tried.

I'll move on.
I'll find a straight one.
With burnt edges,
Who makes sounds like bacon.

Every time, that I see you...
I know I'll be
The one in your eyes.
But it's plain to see
Today is just some cloudy skies.

Mourn for me,
But then move on.
I'll swim the sea
And find my own.