I view the greens
of the cemetery field.
Graves full of flowers,
Except for one still.

Seasons had come,
seasons did go.
Summer's eve
and winter's cold

Headstones aligned,
all in a row,
a small single one,
sits all alone

No single flower
or family visits,
away from it all,
It's sad as I see it.

For ten long years,
nobody cared.
My feelings are somber
and mildly snared.

Viewing the marker,
my tears were so many.
The inscription it said,
"I love you, my daughter, Emily"

Casting shadows of doubt,
tripping over myself.
Molten to the core,
put on the shelf.

Screws in my head,
pressure builds up,
Forty five degrees,
way to much.

Gauges turn red,
point of no return,
open the valve,
release or get burned.

Blinded by the steam
of terminal fates.
Staring alone
into the gates.

I’m in a tunnel,
a carpal tunnel,
a tunnel of pain,
no purple rain,
you thought you looked smart,
in your designer heart ,
that Polystyrene look,
your pretentious Facebook,
but I'll watch you fall,
won’t answer your call,
I'll just hide in my tunnel,
my carpal tunnel.

Devil's Dream

3/4 ounces of madness
1/4 ounce of insanity
1/4 ounce of delusion
1/2 ounce of darkness
1/4 ounce of incapacity
1/4 ounce of  violence
6 ounces of nightmares

Combine all ingredients into a shaker,
Shake intensely for 10 minutes until  thoroughly mixed up,  strain into a high ball asylum unbreakable glass, top with gasoline, light on fire and serve.

This should make one hell of a drink.

Thank you for visiting Satan's Pub, please come back any time.

She's afraid to spread her wings
as everyone got lost in the air
She was left in her own misery
in the midst of nowhere
she broke her wing
promised not to fly
Alone and scared, she has to try
Ready to open wide
and flap that white light feather
She wanted to soar high
But afraid to fall and cry
Looking fierce and brave
The only thing
is to get lost from this cave
It's the only way to be saved
No more tears and fears
Casting the trapped shadows
It's time to go and feel,
how the cool wind
wanders through her feet*

-A

9/24/14

Hands where
They are not welcome
Against flesh too young
And too willing to please
Pushing to break the last barrier
That separates
Innocence
From exploitation
Lips parting what should be closed
Taking what is not theirs
And can never be given back
A body demands
As the other yields
Bending to its will
And calling it "love"

The sky falls down,
we try to see through the mist,
reaching out in desperation,
we touch the unknown.

What hide behinds, that ******* cloud?
Listen, real close..Shhh!!!

BOOM!!  Nice and loud!!!!

Flashes of light,
ballet across the sky.
Pulsating surges
electrify the night.

The mother is mad,
in all of her glory,
vengeance is amongst us,
hell hath no fury.

The rains subside,
damage is done.
No rainbows to see,
where is the sun?

This is Me.
The final part.
From one broken home,
to one broken heart.

Hidden behind the mask
of the old porcelain doll,
cracked and tortured.
I have seen it all.

Uncombed hair
and clothes that are rag,
Behold my feelings,
I am but sad.

No one would listen,
during my youth,
when I was a young man
or drinking my *****.

The alleys were dark
with walls caving in.
Hearing voices inside me,
that's where it begins.

Sitting alone,
by one candle light,
I saw pen and paper,
blown by surprise.

I started to talk,
with the pen in my hand,
writing muse on the pulp,
trying my hand.

I was confused,
my words were a mess.
To me, there just jumbles,
I must confess.

I read them back,
and started to sigh,
Because this is my sad story,
It made me  cry.

In eighty four,
when I was eighteen.
I joined the Navy,
so proud and so lean.

First day aboard,
my ship I laid footed.
An accident happened,
this guy was beheaded.

I witnessed it all,
a faint scream, now gone.
Blood everywhere,
I was shocked in stone.

Life is but different,
floating on the sea.
But darkness still lurks,
coming out of the deep.

They called it traditions,
it brought back my past.
The name callings, the torture,
How long will it last?

Hours turns days,
days into years.
Counting my time,
holding back tears.

We had risen the Shield,
another accident happened,
lost twenty one shipmates,
Never forgotten.

At one in the 'morn,
the ferry went down.
In the Bay of Haifa,
twenty one did drown.

They finally came home,
in a flag draped box,
Hearing taps on corner,
Home but not lost.

My demons continue,
to many deaf ear,
bring sadness and sorrow,
bring heartache and tears

One final vision,
that I can not erase.
my friend screamed horror
and the look on his face

The wheel of an aircraft,
rolled over his femur,
crushing and smashing,
Lost in a fever.

Blood and bones,
I'll never forget.
His piercing screams,
still gets me upset.

Twenty long years,
I lived on the sea.
Lost many great men
and their pain is still with me.

Onto my next step,
But what do I do?
These demons keep chasing me,
Can I **** them off too?

I went to school,
wanting to learn.
Instead of friends,
I just got burned.

I wasn't the fastest,
or even the smartest.
I sat in the back,
next to the kid with the glasses

First came the names,
I thought was a joke.
but the mood all changed,
internally I choked.

When the games were played,
I was picked last,
standing by myself,
it was always a laugh.

Names grew meaner,
as tall as the lad,
the hits came with it
I knew it was bad.

Black followed blue,
on covered up arms.
Didn't show my teacher,
I was afraid of the harms.

I had few friends
and they didn't even know.
The torture, that beset me,
hidden down below.

Each day, home from school,
I cried in my room.
Isolated and degraded,
Embedded in my tomb.

No one would be believe,
No teacher or a friend,
Had no where to turn to,
Felt like the end.

Teen life was a disaster,
living in solitary.
Wanted to change my life,
I joined the military.