i failed
im sorry
i tried to be a friend
now im an enemy to be dealt with
im sorry

She faded into the shadows
        of the love
             she wished she could forget
She solemnly swore
        to drown herself
               in the memory of her regret
Her eyes burned at the sight
         of the lost love
             she'd erased years ago
Her thoughts wondered
         and traveled to places
               she never meant to go
Life attacked her before
         she was even ready
                to feel the pain
Love forced her into the storm
         before she'd even
                 experienced **the rain

I placed the sheet music against my side
The hot iron of the notes beat their way inside
Every strike of the mallet crushing it’s way in
Such a sad song, what a terrible tune
It hung in the pit of my stomach
Held by the fluttering of two song birds
Both with wings plucked from their bodies
They read aloud the music like an anthem
Knew every tap in the ivory and stroke of the clock
I dream now with earmuffs,
Anything to lay to rest their somber songs
Watch the ceiling as it spins and shakes
The eggshell cracking with every blink in the night
I’ve forgotten what it is to breath, the taste of a sunlit shoulder,
All I do now is play audience to their noise
No longer can I even hear my voice

Maybe I don't like to admit when I'm wrong
But then again, neither do you
Maybe trying to find each other in foreign places was the worst way to meet
But your heart eludes even you
Maybe I should have shown you honey before stone
But stone walls have always been safer
Maybe I was never good at knowing who to trust
But I thought that I could let you in
Maybe taking shots in the dark is ineffective
But it doesn't matter now that my heart's broke again

I'd ask you if it looks real but you're nowhere to be found
     I call your phone
           It rings
   But that's the only ******* sound
       I wonder the man I'd be if you had chose to stick around
             As I'm smoking on these rocks and not the ones thats off the ground
                 The ones that cut deep and not just bare feet
     The kind the police always be searching for with the hounds
        I don't sleep or eat I feel cold in heat
        I can't ******* think unless I'm surrounded by a cloud
      But I start to crack, I'm not safe but claim I've got it on lock
             I was taught how to smoke by the boys up the block
            See they were there in your place and I forgot your face and its to the point the only thing I love is my squad
          I'm done talking to God
          And my dealer won't pick up
          So I keep up the facade my smile is not a mirage and my desert of cracked lips actually budge and the muscles push up and it isn't that hard
          And I'm talking just to myself
          Watching as I grin
          Trying to make a fake into perfection

Getting inked soon
To remember you.
A stain on my skin
Because the one on my heart
Was wiped clean
When you left.