What does she do when you sit in distress?
Your bowtie askew, this I asked:

What does she do when you stay up late, a restless fit;
an empty plate,
you do so sit, what does she do when you silently wish?

What does she do when you cope and pray, when you have wasted your entire day;
dreaming and hoping,
but to your dismay, what does she say when you look away?

What does she say when you laugh and cry, and how does she feel when you say goodbye? Does she smile, and beg to stay? I bet you wish it were that way.

What does she do when it comes to you, is this the life for just two, or are you rushing by too fast? Or must you hide behind your mask?

What does she do when you seem content, but can't muster a single, calm reply,
when I ask...
What does she do to your heart that I can't grasp?

You can sit in your bed,
and go through every conversation and situation,
and yet you'll never know why.

You can cry every last tear that you have,
for days on end,
and you'll still never know why.

You can say a million words,
or "sorry's,"
or even "I love you's,"
but you will still never know why.

You can lose hope more times than you can count,
and even then you will never know why.

And maybe that's just it;
Nobody's supposed to know.

Games,

I always told you I were good at them,
and you laughed and said you could play them better.

Now it's cold and I need my sweater,
your love is gone and my cheeks are wetter.

But it's suppose to get better.
I shouldn't feel so dead.
The only emotion I've felt at this point,
is when we laid in bed.

Games,

I guess you were right..
Because you're not the one up at night,
Replaying thoughts and causing fights
Playing games involving knives
I'll mark my skin, yeah that's right
I'll write your name, end my life
Games.

No matter how far I run
or how much time passes by I can never get away from the truth...
No matter if it's as simple as a glimpse of a photo
or I hear someone say your name
The feelings come up deep inside of me and it starts again
It begins as just a spark so I try to hold it back
but before long the poison in my veins ignites for that old feeling
No matter how much I fight it I know
I can't escape the truth
and the truth is I will always love you

I said I never would but I'm addicted to the fun, I've never had this much I don't remember anything but I woke up with a bruised nose, and a ***** room, and a pleasant attitude. The type of attitude when you're in a great mood and nothing can bring you down. I even traded war stories with a newfound mentor. The life that  I was so against, is slowly becoming my own.
My only gripe is why didn't I start earlier?
With Ups I guess there are truly downs. I almost fought a friend, I was annoyed to no end by everyone we were with. Every car, oh it's a cop... Every cop, oh act natural. I met a gorgeous 21 year old who was using me to get someone jealous. I almost danced with this guys girlfriend, in front of him. And now I'm just sitting at work exhausted and ready to go home. Yeah, The Weekend's Lament.

remember when we
were little kids?

we used to say that
we would never do
drugs and do bad
things, like break
other people, or hurt
them.

all those little lies and
promises fill up the jar
of lies i keep hidden
underneath my bed.

"i'll protect you"

"i won't hurt you"

"i love you"

all those small, little lies
actually hurt and they
leave a mark on my skin

marking me as the one
who was stupid and
foolish enough to fall for
such a simple lie.

Love is over rated and so complicated.
Why do I bother with it?
Crazy as it is I keep giving it a chance when I know how it'll end.
That's bad on my part.

Do you know what it feels like?
To feel completely alone.

To have no one to talk to?
But yourself.

That no one cares to check up on you?
Unless they need something.

That no one wants to hang out with you?
Because their first options bail.

Do you know what it feels like?
To long for a companionship.

To feel like you're not interesting enough?
Because people lack consistency.

To reach out to people to be sociable?
But you get little to no response.

To watch other people in close friendships?
And only see what it could be like to have them on tv shows.

To stay at home and use your time trying to create?
But your heart feels heavy.

To encounter cool people then exchange connections?
And be ignored or flaked on.

To only wish that you'd meet the person who'd make it worth the wait.

Hang in there.

I feel this pain.

Can you feel  mine?

You don't love me...
You just love the thought of loving me.

The morning smelt like one of those lost summers,
those bright mornings I remember as a child
before I understood beauty.
It tasted like the cool milk I’d sipped on the cusp of a promising day,
when the stern rebukes of my father could not dim
the power of the blue sky to lift my spirits.
Sadness barely grazed my knees as I walked on the dewy grass
for everything was a masterpiece I'd never examined properly.
The air was warm and golden,
and I was the knight or the lost hero and the afternoon was
set to be filled with imagination and friendships
that I clasped so dear.
But we were sitting on the wall of the Garden of Eden,
looking in and drinking in its beauty, but knowing,
behind us that a dark fiend lurked,
yet never minding to turn around to look properly.
It was when who we were was not quite tangible,
when the light softened the whirling confusion of growing and forming
and we could smile and laugh
and think never mind tomorrow, it's today.
Yes, for a moment, the morning smelt like a lost summer,
so quickly fleeting.