I know you don't love me everyday
I know that you can't stay

I know that
I know that
I know that

lip balm
thinking
what's wrong

fix it
fix it

I try

thinking thinking
I try

I know you won't love me everyday
I know that
I know that

If I leave tomorrow
will you stay

lucky me
lucky you

what's wrong
how can I fix it

thinking
this is it
nothing will ever be better than this
if it is
it's not enough

thinking
why

I try

I know you haven't loved me everyday

I know that now

Nothing matters in the end.
We either **** up the world even more.
Or change it.
But it doesn’t matter in the end.
Because we all die.

Maybe you found someone new...
And this is probably my cue...
So I sat in in my room...
The door locked, i’m ready to shoot...
To leave and let go...
Cause You make feel so old...
And make me feel like a fool...
Because it’s been so long...
Where I haven’t really meant my “l love
you”s...
And how stupid of me...
How I felt so blue...
Falling in love with the broken pieces of the memories with you...
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do...
With all these feelings I feel for you...
So I guess it’s my cue...
To leave and let go of all my things I felt for you....
And knowing the sky...
is under the lovers unite...
the stars came down...
Whispering on how our fates were perfectly aligned...
and at a hundred and two...
I sat, staring up...

And for a moment I felt like I really loved you...

It was momentous
when our eyes met
sparkles like the stars
quite a wondrous feeling
when both of us interlink
through the window of love

It was a special vibes
that started the romance
made us feel on the pedestal
of the human mood of ecstasy
as if happiness stands eternal
as we savor the magic moment

I got the phone call.
The one that always haunted my dreams.
I Knew you were falling apart...
at the seems.
You had just started your life,
Living free, only 18.
I broke as your sister spoke,
Telling me how you tied that rope.
Each knot in its proper place,
Took your time, wasn’t a race.
Everyone screamed that it wasn’t fair.
But you went ahead and kicked the chair.
I never knew how bad it’d get.
So for now on, I lie and call it *******.
We’re all broken here, never saved.
Teens doing drugs... having ***,
And getting played...
But most importantly,
We’re all getting plagued.

Who would’ve guessed,
The Nerd sitting by you failed their Test.
Who would’ve guessed,
The Emo in the back passed that Test.
Who would’ve known,
The Nerd sitting by you had sinful thoughts.
Who would’ve known,
The Emo in the back had no scars to bare.
Who would’ve Guessed,
The Nerd sitting by you wanted to die.
Who would’ve Guessed,
The Emo in the back threw away his razors.
Who would’ve known what went through that Nerd’s Head.
Who would’ve Known what the Emo felt.
When everyone
Expected
Him to
Do it
1st.

Today is my birthday
In which I was born 15 years ago.
Happy? I am not.
Do I know why? No.

I can’t help but remember the night where everything ended.

The make up running down your face.
The clocking stating that it’s 2 AM.

The door of my cheap apartment room closing as I watched you left.

It’s 2 years later and I’m still in the same apartment room.
Instead of me remembering,
I drink and I forget.

But I slowly begin to realize.
That everything...
S t a r t s

To go

b
     l

ur

      ry

And I can’t seem to put the pieces back together.
I wake up and it’s all bleak.
It hits me like shattered glass.
It comes in fragments.

But I’m okay with this.

Because I remember the night it all ended.

Your makeup running down your face.
The clock stating that it’s 2 AM.

You leaving my cheap apartment.
And me staying there.
Just to stay.
And think.
And believe.
And hope.
That someday.
You would finally come home.

I have been suicidal for about 3 years
I have always thought about going through with it
I have actually attempted a few times but they failed
After I got my new animals I feel different
I am still suicidal and I still have my rough moments
I know that there is a lot to live for and I know that I have a wonderful boyfriend who helps me through everything
But sometimes it isn’t enough
Sometimes I still want to die
But when I think of how it would affect my animals, it hurts me
I know that if I die that they will not know what happened and they will be looking for me
They will not know what to do. They will do the same thing that my uncle’s dog did, he searched for him after his death and ended up starving to death because he was depressed
I don’t want that to happen to my animals, I don’t want them to go through that heartache