Everyone’s greatest fear is rejection.
We knew its existence,
but no one understand it clear.

       The feel of rejection,
       Is like cutting the deepest of our soul
       by a razor that causes an affliction.

Carved our hearts to the extent.
Leaving with painful scar,
and making it permanent.

       Stark naked vulnerability, all aglow
       We can find no escape
       But to let the tear in our eyes flows

But a human like us,
Is  a material thing, easily torn
and not easily mended.

       When aggrieved, craving to be relieved.
       For you, neither have I lived nor relived.
       **In rejection, I fear

So there you are again,
and you say you'll always be right there,
Oh, baby, you say you aren't trying to love me,
You must have gone crazy,
To keep me around,
Knowing I'm batshit,
Stinking flailing,
all over you,
You are the mountain,
I have to climb,
The light that only I can find,
The sight that warms me up,
The fright that tears me down,
I won't let my life be for naught,
I won't let you be there, alone,
Forgot.
You can't let me out,
But I've gone so much,
It's scary to let me in.
I know, I know,
I'm not worthy, yet still,
Dearest, oh heavenly creation,
Oh muse, I'm listening,
To whatever music you send my way,
I'll only fall for you, Off my perch of isolation,
You've always been,
My only one,
My other half,
My kindred soul,
Again, and again, and again,
You've always understood me,
Read me like a book you wrote yourself,
So deeply profound,
So riveting,
Shaking me down,
Shake me all down,
And sweep me away,
Again.
I'm never leaving,
I'm  never giving up,
it will take me forever,
To earn your heart but,
Amanda my love, my dear,
I won't say it first,
I won't kiss you first,
I won't run my hands through your hair,
I won't grab you closely, hold you tightly,
As if you Must never go,
Until you say,
"I'm yours, again,"

You are like a ghost,
Haunting me, waking, dreaming,
****, woman, It is you that makes my heart,
go beating off into the wilds,
randomly, fleeting,
Screeching, and into my gut,
where the butterflies are singing,
I can't get you out, of my blood,
my worthless pulse that wont stop beating,
Its discreet and it makes me think,
If I had it over again, I wouldn't be leaving,
Not ever, not if you were cutting my very
Organs our from under my being,
Till I bled out and died, with your eyes on mine,
Cuz I've left you a thousand times, scared of what,
You could be reading, into my scars, and my flaws,
My ticks, and my insecurities, they talk,
Like little green men to crazy men,
Oh I'm insane and my depression is carrying me therein,
And no death is gruesome enough to be worse than,
A life alone, without you in it,
Its melodramtic, I know,
I have no one to confide upon so,
I'll tell it all to my pen,
Worthless strokes, full of worthless thoughts,
To convey meaningless feelings,
Oh insanity, thou art the love I feel,
I'd give it all up, oh I'd sell my soul,
I'd let loose my demons, and I'd carry your hell,
I'd fight god himself, I'd cry in public,
Just end it all, stop flaunting your sickeningly
Pretty face, your gorgeous smile, your pretty brown eyes,
That *** that are all my hands remember,
The fear I felt then as if I was in the presence of the 8th world wonder,
I can't get it out, not when your here, and I look so weak,
If I send you out, and I think twice in the mirror,
The closer you get, maybe one day then,
I'll get one more chance, And,
I wont lose you, Again.

I come from darkness
And such as a moth
Beating itself
To death
Against a flame,
In your arms, I burn
Just the same.


F.Z.N

Friendship is the door
That holds the kite
Kite can't fly without door
Without kite door is nothing