I'm young and obliviously unworldly,
I cry and plead on my knees,

There's a black cloud up in my air,
But I smile, despite all this despair,

I've been shattered and knocked down,
But I still walk -with a halo being my crown,

"It's not about happiness but the worst days" they said,
"When you will learn to fly and not mourn instead."

I'm a secret you're strangely thrilled for,
The old mystery which could never go forth,

They pulled me to the ground but I rose higher,
Whenever I walked out of my shelter, my eyes were drier,

I keep a scabbord which you can't see,
Filled with sobs, words and vengeful dreams

Tonight is a night when the sky is
                   midnight blue velvet,

                   a night when the city on the
                   hill turns to Christmas
                   lights.

Tonight is a night when laughter and
                                 mirth flow freely,

                                 when camaraderie
                                 pillows in the air.

Tonight is a night when friendship
                                            warms the
                                            soul,

                                           good company
                                           fills the heart,

                                           and you wish it
                                           wouldn't end.

Tonight,

I looked at the stars like I do every night,

and I cried.

because this time,

I remembered

that some of them are dead.

and I realised

just how envious I was,

that I was not as beautiful as a star,

even though,

I too,

was still there.

yet also

so

very

dead.

I’m obsessed with pain
Because pity comes with
Fighting my own made-up fights
“How do you know what I go through!?
How can you possibly understand!?”
I wish I could say those words
Yet they remain locked in verse
Every waking moment I rehearse
Front to back and back in reverse
Cause maybe if I keep yelling
To myself
I’ll start to believe
My own delusions
This confusion
The illusion
That I’m in pain when really I’m not

I want to hurt so that I can say:
“You’re hurting me, please go away.”
And yet I always stay