.

*His words,
once a celebration of love,
poetic affection,
written from the deepest
part of his heart
for her,

are now
nothing more than
creased and torn
pages of empty verses
shoved in the back pocket
of his worn out jeans

Ink bleeding between
the lines of a man
who believed he mattered,
only to find that he is
as insignificant
as his writings,

a forgotten poet,
a dried up pen in hand,
scratching sad poetry
on a lonely sidewalk
between the cracks of his life,
etchings of who he once was

Texts I never sent once you left me, again*

1. Nothing feels as comforting as your arms around me.  I remember feeling weightless with you.  Now, my body is constantly strained from carrying my broken heart.  It's so heavy.  I'm so ******* heavy...I'm sorry you're heavy too.

2. I'm not happy with what I've done or who I have become while loving you. I'm sorry for being so hazy

3. Last year, I made a promise to myself to only surround myself with positive people.  Coincidentally, I met you shortly after.  We grew attached at the hip, always together. Your antics rubbed off on me, along with your enthusiasm. I've been isolating myself since you left.  I broke that promise to myself- when I needed to keep it most

4. You shouldn't have to justify why you fell out of love. I'm sorry for begging you to

5.  My grandmother told me I would have my heart broken before I found the one, but if I was lucky, the same person would repair the damages he had caused.  I was heart broken the first time you left, but you came back.  Why aren't you coming back now?

6. I'm heavy again, I'm sure you are free by now

7.  People tell me my sadness is pretty, that the words spewing from my heart are divine, but my words were never enough to make you stay

8.  I want you here. I want you to kiss the marks I created when I didn't want to wake up.

9.  I miss you eminently and sometimes I can't feel my body.  Please don't tell me you understand or that I'll be okay.  You aren't ******* listening

10.  I woke up choking your name

11.  Every single time you promised to stay- you should have clarified that you meant as a memory

12.  I've been splitting my veins like glow sticks in hopes of seeing new light

13.  I'm ******* tired of all the metaphors, why can't it all just be about you again

14.  Poe encountered a raven, while I encountered you.  Somehow we both went mad

15.  goodnight

That was euphoria
Im in when I dreamt of you.
Stars and moon are in my grasp
Thinking I'd never wake up.
Aisle with petals---**you're waiting

Im a pen without an ink.
A night sky without stars
A classroom without bulletin boards
A car without wheels
An icecream without toppings
A bread without a butter
A plant without flowers
A tv without channels
Im nothing.
Im not good for you.
Im a leftover.
An outcast, a rebel.
Im no one.
But you see museums in me
When i only see empty corridors.