chris m

chris m Aug 2014

it’s all just a matter of re-******* and re-******* and re-*******
my head back in place
everytime they walk by
no distractions no distractions
follow the straight and narrow--
yes, we follow the straight and narrow,
the girls wrapped with the tight
elastics and see through tops
the powdered faces and porcelain bodies that
seem to go on and on and on
but it’s all just a matter of looking ahead
keeping your head on straight
no distractions no distractions
even as the mascara flickers on their eyelashes
like black fireworks on a white sky
even as they float by stealing time
with their hourglass figures and ancient eyes
but no
not this time
nodistratctions nodistractions nodistractions
it happens everytime they talk or sigh and especially
when they say goodbye
but to hell with all these silly teenage girls
and their platinum-blonde/midnight-black/chestnut-brown/blood-red
personalities-- stuck in the wrong realities
constantly throwing themselves
against the walls walls walls
cutting their fingertips on the sharp edged boys they clutch at
until they bleed bleed bleed
wondering why no one ever hears their
desperate tears tears tears
looking to boys like me to catch them
when they fall fall fall
but it’s just a matter of turning away--
re-******* and re-******* and re-*******
my head back in place

#love #young #girls #wreckless

chris m Jul 2014

Still Here

still hours in
still company
still sitting-- waiting
stilly
how long until
we break this
monotony--
are these the hoursminutesseconds we regret?
is this where it all went when say- 80 and dying
you recall and all you have around you is
a familiar stillness
still it can’t all be that bad--
you were alive you were breathing you were still-
digesting and growing and learning and
you heart all the while was beating
you were never still at all
just a vessel for the motion of life
80 years of it
and then it’s all just a return to the good earth
to nurture the movement of life through
a blade of grass a dandelion an acorn
the beauty of your existence was how
you carried the torch of life so brilliantly
cradling it in your breast for so long
even as your youth crept away and your blood slowed down
and the memories faded and the thoughts all but stopped

but here we are
still here

#life #time #still #existence #stillness #timelessness

chris m Jul 2014

**//Longing Desperation for your Secret//**

The vacant, quarantined building
On the middle of main st.
Busted, breaking down- demolished
Rooms forgotten
Unfilled// with people/thoughts/lost memories
Patched with various shades of
whites/off whites/eggshells
Broken/peeling/dripping
With yellow clingy innards
Moving along my palm and fingers
Dripping//
from my lips/from my eyes

Catch it please
Catch it won’t you catch my words
Won’t you catch and be caught
Speak to me
Drip/dry/shrink
In the mid-day sun
Open up baby, I’m coming in
With pliers and piercing bullets
No walls can’t be scaled
I’ll bump/bust/buzz
A real game of operation
Dissecting the truth of
Past/present/future
You’s and me’s

Speak so I can echo
Like vacant halls/empty stairwells
Take me step by step
Hand in hand
Pull up floorboard after floorboard
Searching for the dirt in our foundations
If only fingers could reach
Farther and farther- they falter
Sinking into mud//alone

CAMP Prompt: Describe a feeling without using any feeling words.

#feelings #alone #mud #secrets #echoes #operation

chris m Feb 2014

Identity Crisis

I wonder who I am
to you. In your eyes?
When you hold me
When you kiss me
When you touch me

Who am I in your hands?
What’s my name, what’s my story?
Surely you and I must have a sad one
Surely I must have a sad one
For you to have been so willing
So ready to let me
Hold you
Kiss you
Touch you.

Do we look alike? Is it in my eyes
In my arms? When I hold you
In my lips? When I kiss you
In my fingers? When I touch you

Maybe we walk the same talk the same
Maybe it’s all in the way I chose to handle you
When you were alone
In the dark
How you were held
How you were kissed
How you were touched

But what if all this time
You thought that I was
Holding
Kissing
Touching
You.

#love #life #girl #relationships #girls #identity #open #holding #crisis #identitycrisis

chris m Feb 2014

all we are

all we are are tired teens
breaking down at the thought
of leaving our homes
to travel abroad
to go forth and learn
our mindset must be firm
but right now we are
falling down
and trying to pick ourselves up
we falter to be
there is no time to dream anymore
no time to even sleep
no room to breath
no space to think
we are lost to notions
that it will get better
in the near future
but will it be

all we’ll be are putout parents
breaking down at the thought
of leaving our homes
to go to work
to make ends meet
our minds can’t be deep
and all we’ll be is
broken down
and trying to pick ourselves up
so our kids don’t see
there is no time to dream anymore
no time to even sleep
no room to breath
no space to think
we will be lost to notions
that the end is near
and find comfort in
mortality

#teen #up #growingup #reality #teens #growing #tired #comingofage #adulthood #adults

chris m Feb 2014

Erosion

In you I have found
A discomfort
An uneasiness
I stand no shores of sand
And the ocean steals the ground
Where I have rooted
I do not know
How long I can stay
I do not know
Whether storm or tide
Will carry me forth
To other distant beaches
Where I may dock for a time
I do not know
If I will die here
I do not know
Where you are now
I only feel our world
Shift beneath me
And can only watch it being carried away

Neruda tribute

#love #ocean #waves #beach #sand #roots #drifting #neruda

chris m Feb 2014

Hot Heads

Hot heads, steaming
dripping with thoughts and feelings
and fight behind their eyes
nails to rip the flesh
teeth to grind the bone
skin to protect the innards
pickled in blood and water
speckled- follicle by follicle
caught with tension
in still, warm air
Flaring fingers *****
in search of ledges
edges to catch on
break the descent
if only for a moment
the moment that defines
this moment that defines
moments define
cooled heads, streaming
dropping off morals and emotions

#anger #control #angry #temper #hotheads