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It knew no Medicine—
It was not Sickness—then—
Nor any need of Surgery—
And therefore—’twas not Pain—

It moved away the Cheeks—
A Dimple at a time—
And left the Profile—plainer—
And in the place of Bloom

It left the little Tint
That never had a Name—
You’ve seen it on a Cast’s face—
Was Paradise—to blame—

If momently ajar—
Temerity—drew near—
And sickened—ever afterward
For Somewhat that it saw?
You noticed that I was torn
and began pulling edges together
Stitching them
O God it hurt

Stitch by stich You closed wounds
while I looked away with gritted teeth

but said, more more

They say pain is the well of wisdom
I have drunk a full bucket
and am quenched

but I want more … please

Great Healer most merciful
see my older brother

take Your needle and thread …
Today I'm craving touch
I'm craving that the outside world will remind me I'm real
Or maybe I'm craving the absence of
The world
Maybe I'm craving the absence of myself
Maybe I'm craving to disappear

Today I'm craving knowledge
The knowledge of what I want
 Apr 2016 Ceiling thoughts
J C
All I hear are muffled sounds
as I walk slowly, closer toward the light.
Today is the final step in which I’m bound
by duty and history I’m about to write.
Everywhere I look are cheers
from people I do not know;
their spirits are high above the skies.
Beneath my mask is a certainty unclear
of the task I am about to undergo;
no time now to say proper goodbyes.
Up calmly, ascending the stairway to the unknown,
my heart pacing more rapidly than before.
Though safe in numbers I feel more alone,
all courage and might I now implore.

Radio sounds buzzed and fed through the lines;
the countdown now comes down to Five, four,
three, two, one—my ears ring from the sounds combined;
this is what it means, what it feels to be alive.
All signs seem well, so far so good;
though I feel as if my weight is pulled down.
Everything looks so small, so minute,
so close yet so far as it really is should;
it’s into unfamiliar ground we’re abound.
Left and struck with awe, I see no one up here;
dark matter clouds all thoughts of fear,
as the stars shimmer even closer in space.
This memory, this single moment will never disappear—
up and away into a sweet unfamiliar embrace.
are you strong-willed?
                     nothing can break me
                     i'm already broken
did i hurt you?
                      no one can hurt me
                      you're going to
did someone hurt you?
                       no one can hurt me.
                       he ripped my heart out and i
                       still haven't found it
are you scared?
                       fearless
                       terrified
how did you wait for me for so long?
                       patience is a virtue, my friend
                       i've been on my knees for years
can you handle it?
                        i'm ready.
                       i'm so scared
your eyes lack life
                        i'm complete
                       please don't look at me
are you happy?
                         i'm at peace
                        never
do you want me to stop?
                          maybe
                         please
why won't you let me in?
                          i'm not a stranger
                         it hurts
                         please it hurts
                         stay away, please go away
                         *please make it stop
There's two brothers
So similar
But also very different
Let me tell you
A bit about them...

One's like the day
With blonde hair
And blue eyes
He brightens up the room
Whenever he smiles...

The other is like the night
His hair is colored blue
Just like his eyes
And then have a mysterious aura
That reminds me of the moonlight...

The child of day
Makes friends
Wherever he is
While the child of night
Hides in the shadows
Observing his fellow people...

The child of day
Is always kind
And would never deny
To help a person in need...

The child of night
Is also kind
But refuses to help
If he doesn't think
That he can do it...

The child of day
Always follows the rules
Since he wants to keep everything
Just as it is...

But the child of night
Is disobedient
He breaks the rules
Whenever he can..

The child of night
Doesn't want everything to stay
As it is
He wishes for a change
And he'll fight for it..

The child of day can't understand
His lunatic brother's wish
So he fight against him
With everything he can...

The child of night
Now feels betrayed
'Cause he thought that his brother
Would understand
That he was lonely observing people
Since he didn't have the courage
To speak to them in their sleep...

The child of day
Grows a heart of stone
He think that his brother
Wants to destroy the world
And nothing
Can prove him wrong...

But the child of night
Refuse to back down
He answers sunbeams
With shooting stars
He attacks with nightmares
But the child of day
Let's the sunlight
Chase all the nightmares away...

So it continues
And even today
You can still feel
When one of the brothers
Is attacking...

'Cause when the child of night
Fires an attack
Then the child of day
Have to move back
But after 12 hours
He'll come back
Now it's his turn
To throw an attack...
I just wanted to try something new... So I made some kind of fairy-tale XD
Written: 26. March Published: 28. April
slowly, and steadily, the descent
to the forest again, the lonely trees
the hush of wind in their leaves.
back to the place no one ever sees.

slowly, and quietly, the climb
up to that house where she wept,
where that mind was shattered.
back to the memories I had kept.

slowly, and calmly, the sight
of the sun leaving, the sky melt
to the darkness I came to love.
back to the darkness I ever felt.
Notes to Myself
your body is a temple
you are the master, my dear
intruders are forbidden
so why am I here?

I will make you smile
I will gain your trust
and when you hand over your key to me
I will fulfil my lust  

your body is a temple
it is my hotel tonight
you take pride in your rooms
I take pride in my sight

I will open your doors
you will give me good service
I will adore
your skin is my furnace

your body is a temple
or so, I agree
so that I can stay for free
and cause you misery
what a pity
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