Broken glasses on our dinner tables
Time is different with a stranger
A meal over an hour longer
Checking in the realms of possibilities
Hopping towards the future with a hackysack
Even children savour the race
Looking at your worn out face
Reaching for a trace
Time trickles forward, taking space
Until I can no longer feel the distance from you

There will be gnashing and whining
Our flesh will twist from the grip of hand on skin
Red is my eyes
You have not yet noticed
The honored guest is in a velvet lined box
Invited are his brides
his mother, his sister
He can never have daughters
No sins passed from this moment on
The offense is on our hands
The tears shed will be drank like wine
She loves me? She loves me not?
The light left your eyes when you had chosen the latter

There'a pig being slaughtered in the farm
He's taking him to the alleyway
There a grocer will pick him up
And she will cradle his carcass in a vacuum wrap
He is uncontaminated
It make me nervous
Because the grocer sells innocents
The pig had no crime
Merely, he was a pig
But criminals live alongside us
Secrets make them fly in the sky
Hero to all who hope for the glories
In being known for horrible truths
Honest criminals
They eat pigs for dinner
***** criminal chewing an innocent pig
How is life going to get better?
Be vegan or cause the pig to commit a crime?
Be innocent as well? Hell I'm going now
I can't take this discussion

Hello 3 am it's early and you're not bluffing
I'm seriously awake and you're still passing
All the while I have to say that you have really been carried away
I'm not able to sleep until I have you in the past
I can't sleep until I've had you at last
If it's 3 am now
Then it's not 3 am
It's just time to freak out
Please don't forget me, time
I am not to be taken for granted
I am regarding you with reverence
But 3 am is the ***** hour

My cat has it all together
She's so successful at what she is
She knows her beauty and knows her grace
All about her, I love and adore
There is so much to say about her
Even if I go on about the same things
I can't get enough of her soft fur and her gentle purr
She's always kind
And even when she's sad she is still here

My graces are not fulfilled when you are trying your best to assume that I am not confident, or smart and capable.

I am not sure if I need to label myself to be any of those characteristics but I know that I have pure faith.

It is undeniable that the world is not only senseless in the best of ways but that I am senseless in the oddest ways

How I want to be a guru in tidying. I can't tidy yet. My room is done but fails the standards and hopes I have for it.

Much like a child, who fails the standards and hopes parents had for her.

Many times I hope only to speak the truth and not in earnest. I hope to speak the truth in truth. Present tense.

Future tense is my enemy because the future never happens. She only disappears once within reach to turn into the horrible truth that is present day. She only then transfigures herself into disappointment when she has passed to become Past.

My former best friend called me a downer. I am, until today, a downer to those who I thought were my friends. I guess the standards and hopes were not met for my friends to be sponges of my anger.

I am not done. My anger, palpable. To those who don't know me, I seem quiet and nervous and sometimes laughing on the inside. Hopefully people notice.

Presently I aim to live outwardly and without gentility. Rough and troubled was my youth. Mud and tumble is/was my trademark. I want that from now on. To live in authenticity and without any restraints. A bull in the field. Explosive.

I just want you to know

That even if I don't want to

I will fight you

And that even if I want to

I won't die

I just want you to know

Even if I want to

I can't forget you

Even if I try

I just want you to know

Even if I have to

Of course I want to

I want to feel alive

every day I try to think of original thoughts
They always visit me like a good friend visits their dying friend
As if I am going to need them
Because I do

I need my thoughts to be springy and fast
elastic and strong
my emotions won't stand for anything else
My eyes guide me to the light
Where my thoughts form in the different hues
In the shadows of eyes
I squint in thought
And see a whole new world
Braver and more true
I am possibly more in love
With the thought that shows me the different version
Of the world I knew

This place is tired
I'm tired bored
I want to be done with it
I also know your mouth moving doesn't matter

Here I am writing too
Telling you that your light is to light other candles
While mine is to find other fireplaces
Not everyone has a fireplace
But everyone can buy a candle

you may think I'm nobody
Inside me there is somebody
I think I'm different
So do my eyes

You have to be a certain kind of love
I'm telling you, you are making me change
Even my words don't seem as careless
I am more careful around everyone
They are watching, measuring, and weighing
I know they would prefer that I was a certain kind of woman
People could be only about certain qualities
Only truth
Only stateliness
Only integrity
Beneath is what you seek
The little light that fuels my soul
The one that transcends perfection
You seek me to be more me
It's enough to know you own all of my incompleteness
If I outgrow this ***
I can only hope you are the gardener who uproots me

The movie never let me go was about clones donating their organs
The movie Always let me go
Is about real people with souls donating their shoes to people without feet

How do I count the ways?
You seem like you have another way of saying I love you
You don't say it but you mean it.
You have a way with words
I don't really know anything
You know me well
How do you break a frame
If you have a picture
You have an idea
Maybe let it grow
Get some woman who has a bit of sustenance
I'm thinking you can't feed a family

Singing salutations
Showering praise
To no one in your life in particular

How to express about the eyes that I don't see?
How to caress him with words that he won't read?
There is so much to say
What to say to someone I know nothing about?
Nothing
Everything
The sky's the limit
There is no space to contain
There is all space for movement

This loveless life is a prison of freedom
I need you to cage me
My passions need to live
The best thing about the will
Is that it does not come to life
When the life is without form or shape
So come to life
Do your will
Or do your worst
Be breakable
Because I am.

If I let go of this fruitless hunt everytime it becomes difficult
Will I ever come home with game?
When I sought out the goal at hand I didn't expect that I would look the other way
It seems I haven't won any round from the last time
Only small victories is what they feel like
Like I'm taking more steps than I ought to
Like it is too much
But never enough
My heart hurts when you tell me I can't do it
But I know in my heart of hearts
Anything is possible
Even if I'm impossible to deal with
Anything is doable
Even if I say don't
The moments when I turn away from a challenge
Has cost me to lose sight of what is within reach
These moments perish
When I feel like I'm in peril
When you feel like the world is against your battle
Take it by the throat
And let it know
You're not one to mess with
Try on an armor and pick up a sword
Be the person in the arena
Pick a fight with the biggest dog
Break the vase in the antique shop
Make sure you don't turn around when you see the bully walking toward you
Help yourself to more pie
There is so much to fear
Take the name of the Lord in Vain
Then go to the confessional
And cry because of original sin
There is nothing that is not worth trying
Nothing that is hard to ask forgiveness for

The most difficult thing about going to school
Is finding out that the teachers don't teach
They just want to know if your listening

I really miss you
I wish I could write down everything I want to say to you
I wish I didn't feel embarrassment when I think about how long I'm missing you and how much this song reminds me of you, how your love of nature disconnects me from anyone who feels the same and how I wish I didn't feel guilty when my sadness becomes beauty to others. How I wish that when I am trying to express how much I miss you and that I'm sad about you being gone they wouldn't take advantage. You didn't.
I really miss you
I miss the smell of your clothes when you just woke up
I miss rubbing my nose on your shoulder so I can be immersed in your smell
I regret it
Because the smell of detergent makes me want to break down and cry
I miss having you by my side
I miss your sweet smile
I don't say it enough
Because I didn't say it enough when you were around
I miss you because you were pure
And now I hate to turn this all towards me
Because now I'm rotten
Now I'm vile
And every good thing that you were that I see in other men and in myself
Repulses me to know end
Because you left me
You left everybody
And I cannot forgive
This will be until the end of my life
On and off
You're a bulb that's not dying and the switch is broken
I miss you
I miss you so ******* much
I wish you were around so that I could wish you dead
I wish you fought back death so that you could live until the end
With all of us
Your friends
Be with us
Why did you leave?
Why are you gone?
Why are you dead?
The only thing that has come of this tragedy
Is narcissism
You're gone
And I'm staying.
I'm surviving
I'm not thriving
I'm not steering
I'm not the same beautiful soul
You stupidly fell for
No, I am not the same.
But I am not dead
And that is what I wish you were instead.
Not dead.

metaphorical balaclava
Something you said last night
SMS
SMH
Wired brain
Wired body
Let's go get some tonight
OK
I said OK
Let's runaway
We're not gonna get married
But I love the way you make me feel
Alive
Alive again
Alive
Immoral
Untied
Breaking the rules
And it's not for you
I'm not doing it for you
It's so beautiful

Beautiful skies turning from blue to black
All the night you are temporal
Beauty is transient
Ever changing
Nothing becomes less beautiful
Only changed beauty

The photos were leaked today
They were of a **** woman with brown skin
Love making as she stared straight into the lenses
I was showed by a man who did not know how to react once I had been shown
My reaction was not shock
I merely stated "That's baad"
I did not know how to react to the staunch cyber-bully who was sure he was doing himself a justice by being so open about his anger at the naked, brown, humiliated, naked, shamed, beautiful
I am shamed by his shaming
I am naked by his *******
I am beautiful by myself sometimes
Sometimes I take the tape off my camera and position it near my bloom
I am not alone in this activity and yet I feel alone in an intimate situation, feel less alone, in a private situation.
Sometimes I work it so that every part of my dark lips are shadowed and my fingers seem to work for a living rather than play
My body is not a string
It is a temple of dark things
It is a ossuary filled with the dust of former lives
It is not to be dangled for cats for play
It has no puppet hands
Or puppet face
It smiles because it sees you smile
And she frowns when she sees you laugh
It is alive
The misfortune you hope her body will bring her is shame
I hope it will bring other people enlightenment
The fault is not in her
The fault is in the malicious, villainous, caricature of man who is hallow and made of maddening bells
Every time you disturb him he rings in announcement "This lady I had once an intimate relationship and she abused me. Here is her punishment."
We are all cavernous tunnels with lights to shoot out of the pins and needles sensational feelings we do not desire this but we must desire to be freed from being owned by this
We all think we're exempted from shame until we are ashamed
There are no exemptions, only more bells
They ring, until background noise renders them obsolete to us

Becoming myself requires me at my worst
It's a process of pure intention
And attention
Becoming what I am
Rather than what I want to be
Means I have to go through life
With a blindfold
Sometimes there are rocks in front of my feet
And I have to trust that I won't trip up
Again
After the 5th time
Because I've been there 4 times

The calendar that changes paintings every month
The friendships that pass on to the next life
The house that once stood for home
The filled notebooks, once empty
The prayer that passes through the crack of sadness
Proof that life is not emptiness
Phrases and proverbs that unwrap their meaning
As life happens before my very eyes
My mind is born like a child
Suddenly time is quick
She is opening her eyes
Oh, beautiful infant
So kind so wild
I pray that you will be kind to life
I know you will be treated fairly
Your reality is truly one of your own making
And if you ever find that you have been dealt cards that cut
Do not throw the deck away
Life is but a limited stack
Play with charm
And never cheat
For death is the lover of life
And will gladly take away what you have at stake
Fear nothing of what I say
Truth and pain wake up the senses
Losing one's way is never easy
Just pinch yourself
Bad dreams go away
Eventually

I see your picture
Up on the Wall
It's clearly your best shot
At breaking my heart
It's as though I couldn't
Fit you in a frame
When you told me
Your sister died
Of suicide
So please excuse me
For bowing out
It's just---
I must battle some demons for you babe

Every year for 12 years
You've been putting on one shoe at time
And In my mind
You've been taking off one shoe at a time
Every year for 12 years
The Sun rises
and then you're awake
The Sun sets
And then you're dead

Remember the notes
Study them well
Forget all the pressure
They put in your head
Read up on rainy days
Write about sunny times
This will be your last day on my mind

My dream house would be filled on all sides with big windows
It would let all the sunshine in
It would allow to view the storm
It would show all the colors the world offers
It would make me yearn for what's outside
It would protect me from the windy day
And make me appreciate all that I see
My dream house would breath easy with these big windows
No secrets in my house
Only clarity and certainty
I would invest in great big windows
And a house with a view up high

It's just not my time
No matter what I try
I can't get an idea to fly
It can't even crawl
I always hit a wall
Why?
Is my time soon?
When will I be able to bloom?
Whenever I try I fail
Whenever I fail I don't want to try anymore
When will it be my time?
....
Some people seem to have it all
Some of them that seem to never fall
When they fall they always rise
This type of thing eats me up inside
Jealousy eats me up inside
Why can't I be them?
Why are they themselves and winners?
Why am I not anything close to who they are?
...
There is hope I know it
It just isn't my time

The stairs were very difficult to climb
He had nowhere else to go
So he went of to the story
And there he found a series
It was a novela
One that couldn't be forgotten
He took it aside then
Ripped out the pages
He maid sure that it was legible
Because you can't read a book without
Words

The changed seem unreal
It seems to be changing me into some kind of monster
Life
I am so aware of the changes in me
If only I could see it in others as well
Then we could be tender
And meaty
Love could be changed
And life could be dreamy
Some kind of connection is what I crave
But I only see myself in the mirror
And imagine sometimes
That my blurry eyes
Are windows
Into someone else's life

It's not easy being cool with this body
It's not a whisper
It's not a whip
It's not a slender boomerang
It's a booming voice
It's a car crash
It's a fat frisbee

I bump into you unintentionally
You might not have ever said it
But I dream you think it
"What a heavenly body to touch down to"
Because the galaxy is huge
And a runway is wide
And both are beautiful
To the open eye

It was bright and the sun peeked behind the clouds
So much learning
So much joy
So much hope

It's hard to get the hang of life
Because it is pain
So mostly I like to be terrified
Or terrify
It's all the same to me
Praying that I have a friend
Someone who will always be there
Praying that I will not be alone
So I have something to show in reunions
Hopefully I can digest these feelings
That don't really seem to be there
How am I going to find myself
When what I fear
I already am
There is freedom in acceptance
There is no wrong to right
I am a flower
Aching to bloom
There are just flowers
That don't bloom so soon

The most beautiful thing
You can do for me
is to love
In slow motion

What I like about Rock
Is what musicians do
When they have so little

How am I going to know all the things you want
You know I don't know how to read your mind
It's a struggle eating this rice
All I am is just them and the same
Heavily rest your breath on mine
My mouth touches yours and it blows my mind
I feel as if you can tell me all your secrets
But all I know is that there's so much kept
You were always just too open about nothing
Eyes
lids touching each other
Breaking his heart
Just so you could sweettalk peace out of war
Your heart was never open to any
But your ambition was forgotten when you saw the light of the exit sign
Settle down in my arms

I can't feel my shame
But I can tell your skin
Far away

Close to my face
The glow is warming
I am revived

Sick to my bones
I'm all alone
Close the distance
Kindly
Plain and simple
That's my name

I'm laid on the edge
It's not the same
You're not to blame
Is the door locked?

See my frame
See my face
Quickly
what's my rush?

Bring it to your room
Are you alone?

Sick to my bones
I am all alone
Close the distance
If you could
Kindly
Plain and simple
That is my name

Truly I have the will inside me
To push my chest out and bare my dignity
Like a thumping paw of an elephant
The sound of who I am beats the ground
Every thump like a chanting
Every chant like a battle-cry
Break their bones if they strike you
Their throws are soft and formless
A fog that poisons
You are protected by the bear in the woods
A massive presence of teeth and claw
Bear in mind
Conquering the battle is not complete without armour and sword
Use your sword with caution
Sparing them for when the season is ripe
Struck whence the shield lowered
You seek for bleeding
You seek for victory
Joy is in the skin scarred without fright
Victory is in the timing of each strike
The sword has discipline in its swift blow
Should not have trace of megalomania
Should win every ****** in order to teach
Lessons to heed the definition of honour
Two victors will defy the battle
When one wins on honour
If the other triumphs pride

Shimmer highlights
Glitter heels
Make me dress
To his appeal
Make me a magnet
Of attraction
Objectify me
A distraction
Let me be an unholy thing
touched
Besmirched
On your whim
Be my prince
On my bed
I’m sleeping now
Between your legs
Saint Malady
Patron of the honest house
Enter through the backdoor
And let it be nothing more

The chair I'm seated on has a nice texture
It carries so many butts from the past
It also has many farts from the past

The desperate cling to words
Uplift their hand off the drug
They angle the situation like a friend not a doctor
Words strung together become magic without the wand
Slip on words gentle like a cotton shirt unto my silky conscience
Poems are a cure for my lonely hands
They intertwine in between my crooks and crevices
And cradle me with warmth; put pressure on my skin
I am being touched by multiple fingers
My hair is being stroked like a child
The temples become buttons which give me messages
I write and the blank pages absorb my prose like a pillow in contact with my tears
Warm and damp, how does some other arm wrap around my head to cover my eyes
Making me guess the identity of the muse
The idea revealed, only through endings
When are you complete oh mysterious column *****
You are like a dig
Messages reveal themselves like reincarnated Cleopatra
Lighted skies
Yellow eyes
Somber face
Silent grin
Over and over I am possessed
And then I forget that it's merely a dance
On acres of text
Fingers are conducting
What's next, what's next, what's next
Singular creatures hope for the rest
Until finally
My silky conscience revealing beneath
Baring it's teeth
A moon-shaped vision covered my listlessness
My acceptance of such expatriate education
Helps me to notice every expression
Hoping for that half, that a love fluent in my language can only be born to understand it
Deciphering reasons to accept the challenge of difficulty
It is known, that anything worth anything is a result of the toil
Your character appears to be rubies
You voice out your words like it's written in blood
Renting out your heart for the owning of mine

Spicy food hold my hand like a sweaty palm
It's so buttery and salty
It prepared my food especially since I've been hungry since 2007

Today I went to the beach to wait for hail
But then I saw the most beautiful sky
I wonder really who put it there
If it was God or Satan
Because who can really make such beautiful stars
All I know is that when I am not allowed
To hear the satan in my head
I will truly **** a *****

_the end

Easily cracks
Easily slips
Easily drops
Easy to wear
Easy to finish
Expensive
That's me

You are most disappointed when I say--with eyes downcast
---"You were right about me..."
So much loss in what you put on the betting table
Prejudiced words are powerful
You can't believe you said that about me
If only you could take it back
And all I see is your pained expression trying so bad to be disguised as a smug mug
There is no winning when you expect people to be defined by what you think of them
God's eye can see your thoughts
I hope He gives you more

When you're okay
They're not
When you're not okay
They are
Just rest the rest of the time
And wait for moments
When you're around them
Then they'll see you're okay
Without them

When somebody does something to you that you find offensive
Watch them closely
Even if there is no revenge
You will notice that
They are so in pain when you mention their offense
They cannot breath
They cannot look at you
You have power over them
Let this be a lesson
To all you know who are *******
Let this be a correction