Heartbreak
Is not an overreaction
Is not a figment of imagination
of the ones who feel too much

Heartbreak
Is not simply a word
for the ones who have loss.
Is not simple at all.

Heartbreak
Is ripping
Is the tearing
of one's heart into miniscule pieces.

Heartbreak
Is the breath
that both catches in your throat
and completely leaves your body.

Heartbreak
Is the physical reaction
in which your heart stops beating
and your lungs stop working.

Heartbreak
Is when your smile stops working
but you use it to cover up the tears anyway.
*Is when you picture your life without them in your day.

*******,
so angry I could collapse on the floor
but I swore this year I would stop
passing out when I feel like lashing out
so *******
for nailing my feet to the tile floor
and turning on the sink on your way out the door,
I am drowning in your mess
and have to swim with wounds on my feet
so *******
for doing this while telling me you love me
and pouring salt on open cuts
and making sure you had enough air to breathe
while I struggle to make ends meet
so *******
for doing this to me and
for draining me of the energy that it takes
to collect myself and hold it in and not scream
*******

a letter in messy script
a script with too few hits
a hit with too much smoke
a smoke with too few drags
a drag with too much hope
a hope with too few moves
a move with too much step
a step with too few directions
a direction with too much detail
a detail with too few truths
a truth with too much love
a love with too few touches
a touch with too much hand
a hand with too few shakes
a shake with too much promise
a promise with too few pinkies
a pinkie with too much trust
a trust with too few people
a person with too much love
a love with too few words
a word that never made it past a letter
a letter that told it all
everything, that never got sent

build a bridge
so others can walk to you
and you won't drown no more
in waters that swallowed you before
so others may reach out their hands
and so that they may save themselves
build a bridge so you find help
no one can heal you
if they are tired from swimming upstream to

No, I am not perfect.
I am far from being flawless.
I have a lot of insecurities.
I'm a walking mess.

Don't get fooled with my fake confidence.
Deep inside me is full consciousness.

The bags under my eyes, my uneven skintone.
I am afraid to show it all.

People will talk behind me,
everyone hates ugly.

Don't get fooled with what you see outside,
I am not perfect, i hope you understand.

I just want love
I pray to the heavens above
I just want love
No riches or material stuff
I only want love

I'd walk
To the ends of the earth
Through deserts
For all that it's worth
Just to have someone
To call my own
That I never
Again feel alone

I've spent years
Watching how others bond
Through long nights
Until the early morn
Holding hands
At the breaking of dawn
C'mon man, c'mon

I don't need much
I only want one
Make it fast
My life's almost gone
How much longer
Must I have to wait
Till she comes along
Till she comes along

I just want love
I pray to the heavens above
I just want love
You know what it is
That I'm speaking of
I just want love

Is she hiding
Somewhere in the crowd
Is she even standing
On solid ground
I'll keep on searching
Just point out the way
Nothing can ever
Lead me astray

Down the path
That leads to the unknown
I aim to roam
Any distance
Or close to home
To no longer
Feel all alone

I just want love
I pray to the heavens above
I just want love
You know what it is
That I'm speaking of
Give me love
Give me love
Give me love

Look at me with your adoring eyes
Let me see what it is you see
In the reflection of your pupils
Please help me to believe

I've misplaced my perspective
I'm no sleuth or detective
The clues are all dried up by now
I'm much more inclined to be receptive

I can finally stop to listen
And hear what's in your heart
There's no time to be deceptive
My love for you is off the charts

Put your arms around me
Pull me closer in
Hug me with veracity
Your head under my chin

I just need a reminder
To help lift my self esteem
Why you allowed me to come into your life
And why we became a team

How you brought the smile back to my face
When I had self induced poverty
How I went from rags to riches
And found everything in you....that I'll ever need

Despising ones self for the person they're not

Takes a lifetime of practice
and all that they've got

Stuck in the past and a prisoner of time

Locked up in shackles
In ones very own mind

Breathing in air that others deserve

Not sure why they're here still walking the earth

Remorse for a wasted life year after year

Seen through the eyes of loved ones and all they hold dear

As tears trickle down
Into a puddle of grief

It's all they can muster to feel some relief

Failure upon failure never tasting success

Makes a person feel worthless and praying for a quick death

Connecting with no one, left alone to wage war

Like a lion in sheeps clothing unable to roar

Waking from nightmares
Time and again

Not a soul to confide in
Not a single good friend

A constant struggle and the testing of ones own free will

Can crumble down the highest of walls that took years to build

No one chooses to enter or when to check out

Just an empty container
That's filled with self doubt

Conflict and turmoil and clouds overhead

Is where to find comfort when laid down for bed