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 Jul 2018 Moni
ollie
im gay im so gay
im gay i am really gay
big big lesbian
thank you all for reading my poem i love my girlfriend with all my heart
 Jul 2018 Moni
Angel
Anorexia
 Jul 2018 Moni
Angel
"Sweetheart, You lose so much weight"
"I'm fine mom, I've already ate"
Sedative words that can't extricate
Food, Is what I begun to hate.

Thin, Thin, Very Thin
Left with bones and waxen skin.
I'm famished but anxious of the kilos
Furtively eating with my eyes, Day by day this is how it goes.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, can't you see?
What you show is demising me.
Every calorie is a conflagration
Stepping into the scale a redundant vexation.

Stand upon my reflection again
A fat *** is what I see, vociferating of my brain
makes me regurgitate in so much pain.
Drops of anesthetic mainlining my soul
numbers in the scale are reigning without control.

Flesh into ebbing, turning acrimony into cuts
throwing meals, when everyone shuts
All is left is my aweary bones
Still it whispers
"Not thin enough"
 Jul 2018 Moni
Orchid Rose
the game
 Jul 2018 Moni
Orchid Rose
officially going off the deep end
into a dark city where they tend
to only have two choices

feel the pain or drown in drugs
keeping warm at night with a hug
from a complete stranger

whilst you might still feel the pain
at least you're numb, though not sane
from the thoughts haunting
 Jul 2018 Moni
fiachra breac
is mo croí theanga í,
is an t-anam ó t-am dearmadta
gur ní cuimhnigh mé.

tá sé bhriste 's,
neamhiomlán,
ach is breá liom í fos

mar sin,
is mo bhaile í
agus tiocfaidh an lá
nuair tá mo theanga agam
my broken heart

it is my heart's language,
it is the soul forgotten in time,
that i cannot remember.

it is broken and,
incomplete,
but i love it still

because
it is my home,
and the day is coming,
when i will have my tongue.
--------------------------------------
I feel at home in a language my ancestors lost. I feel safe in words that don't come easy. I found peace and hope and healing in the seemingly strange sounds of my native tongue, and I will reclaim it, for myself, and my peers, and the generations who follow, because it is beautiful and it is ours.
 Jun 2018 Moni
Bragi
If Beauty Bled
 Jun 2018 Moni
Bragi
I hate that you are so beautiful.
I hate      that you are
                                      So
                                            Beautiful.
At a price
I say it twice
                          It’s comical
                         Illogical
                        That for you I fall
Neurological
Psychological
                        The damage caused
                       Stall
                      Stall
                     Stalled.
                    Paused.

My head now full
         Cruel.
           Undo
             The damage that has spread
To bed
To bed
To bed
     It was said
       I hated how you were so beautiful
         When for twice those words were
      bled.
 May 2018 Moni
LS
when i was 7 i cracked my head open with glass
and blood covered my head
i didn't go to the hospital
i didn't even tell anyone

i never saw the glass really coming
it happened in just a split second
i hardly even felt it
it stung
but i was too worried about the glass
and how i was going to clean it
before my parents came home
my mom always liked to keep her house clean
so i had to pick it up

when i was 13
my best friend had her first heartbreak
i was doing homework
because i was so behind
but she called me crying
and asked if she could come over
i held her for two hours
while she sobbed into my sweatshirt
and when she left
i didn't even get a thank you

i try so hard to make everyone feel content and happy
then sit in my room
and wonder why i'm so sad
but it's because
all i do is bleed for people
and they never even hand me a bandaid
 May 2018 Moni
Belle
“Which one you got?”
They inquire as if it’s something you receive.
“Whats it like?”
When you got that toy as a child, remember how invigorating it was?
“Well do you like it?”
Of course I like it. Or atleast at one point I did. Now it’s just there and I’m bored of it.
“Well why?”
Every toy becomes a burden at one point.
“So what do you do with it now?”
I try to put it away and hide it, because I hate when guests come over and ask me about it.
“But weren’t you so excited about it at one point?”
Yeah, but times change.
“So which one you got?”
They ask over and over again.
Finally I respond to the question. “Anorexia.”
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