I try to pick myself up
Try to change
Clean slate,
Try to start fresh,
every time.

But every time,
You beat me down
Into a million little tiny pieces
To the point where,
I can’t even find myself to pick up the pieces.
I’m just shattered,
Pieces of me laying all over,
Just hoping the glass shards don’t cut anyone else too deep.

The plants that I tended to all summer long,
They were all so fragrant and beautiful and strong.
But somewhere along the way, I forgot they were there
And when they started to wilt, I just didn't care.
I probably could have saved the plants if I had tried.
But I didn't, and so it is my fault that they didn't survive.

My brother had everything going for him, nothing was wrong.
He was so full of life and beautiful and strong.
I felt that little tug, but I ignored it and walked away.
I was the last one to see him alive that day.
I still feel like I could have saved him if I had tried.
But because I didn't stay, that was the day that he died.

My apathy is what killed them, and I know that this is true.
But I can't stop feeling nothing, I just don't know what to do.
The more things that die, the more things that I ****.
But I don't know how to stop this, so I keep standing still.

I noticed you were getting upset
Because your face was redder than a tomato
When you told me about that little girl
About what her brother did to her
Across the street
In the backyard shed
He was a teenager
But she was only six years old
You said:
I was really young and I didn't know what to do
I just walked away
I wonder who she is now...
Where she is now...
If she's anywhere at all
I wonder if I had said something...
That's when you started to get really choked up
There was a long pause
So long that I almost didn't think you were going to finish your thought
But you managed to get it out
You said, "I wonder if it would have made a difference"

That made me think about that day again
The worst day
The day he died
I saw him, and I walked right past
I got that tugging feeling but I ignored it
I just walked away
I wonder who he would have been today...
Where he is now...
If he's anywhere at all...
And everyday I wonder
I wonder if I had said something...
If it would have made a difference

They say "when you know, you know"
And they're absolutely right
There's no grey area or blurred lines
There's only black and white

There's no ifs ands or buts
There's no uncertainty or fear
There's just that feeling in your gut
And you must listen when it appears

I'm not just talking about love
This applies to most things in life-
No matter what your head is thinking,
Your heart is usually right

I feel trapped in this cycle that never ends,
Forever chasing my tail
Unhappily and blindly treading along,
Trying to see through the veil

It's not that I can't,
It's simply that I won't
And I know that I should,
But the thing is, I don't

But that's no way to live...
You need to be on my side
And I need to be on yours
If we're gonna survive

I love you, I do.
And I know that we'll pull through
I just have to work on me
And you have to work on you

I used to be afraid to inhale
But I've been to hell and back
I still don't think I've sinned enough
But I understand, now, why people smoke their lungs black.

Everyone's got their poison,
And we each have to choose
Based on what has shaped us
Whether it's ***, cigarettes, drugs, or *****.

It's not up to me to judge you
We're all just doing our best to get by
At the end of the day, whatever the vice
We're all just wandering through life high.

It wasn't your first time around
And I know this has to be true
Because you always seemed like an old soul
While I stumbled around clumsily, brand new

I'm still stuck here for a reason
And although God plucked you from this earth,
I have to believe that it was your season
And that I am bound for rebirth

It seems that you were born into perfection
And though younger, much wiser than I
Your time on earth was shorter
But just as much, though truly much more, worthwhile

I wish, so much, that it had been your first time on earth
And I wish that I had more to offer you
I wish that we could have had more time
But it's clear that you accomplished everything that you came here to do

I hope that heaven is beautiful
And that one of God's angels was there to catch you when you fell
I know that you're having the time of your many lifetimes
Because, even after only 17 years, my soul knows yours too well