I took a shower in the dark today
Fully clothed under the warm water
Let it soak through every piece
Running down my face
As I sobbed
Screaming
I had an emotional breakdown today
All of my emotions pouring out of me
Every ounce of sadness and pain
Leaving my dry throat
Painful echos of the screams
Of my mother's death
I hurt myself again today
Let my anger and pain take over
Pulling out my beautiful blade
Let it run down my arms again and again
Leaving angry red lines
I left purple and yellow spots
I gave up today
Stopped holding it all in
For a couple of lonely hours
Left my sanity somewhere
Down the bathtub drain
There it goes

I let go of you
I thought of other things
And I was in bliss

I was alone now
And I was enjoying
Silent solitude

You were off my mind
You were nowhere near me
I thought I fell out

I was moving on
From you and from the past
And then I saw you

We live to die
And die for
What is worth
Living for

yesterday
her laugh cracked my thick skin
my hard heart grew weak
her smile crushed my ego
my life became hers

yesterday
she spun me dizzy
my head and my heart
reorientate themselves
around her

yesterday
i was touched
by the softest, smallest hands

yesterday
my walls came down

i want to write a card splattered with ink blots
covered with my smell and imbedded with pale blue tears
folded in half, sealed with devotion, sprinkled with powder
honest intentions, or thoughts to share under the moon
so i will fall into a waterless pond or
love from a graveyard will travel somewhere else
do you want to keep me?
come over in your silver car, stop at the corner store
let's create something sentimental
broken lights are gone

Drink me silly, slap me high
Sing me a bedtime lullaby
All alone with depression I lie
soon I'll be no more
And when you come knocking at my door
There will lie my body on the floor.