Even when being stabbed I didn't run for my life until you screamed at me, angry that my back broke your knife

Now there’s something deep inside me that's broken and if you shake me too hard It might slice me up from the inside out

I need a place to break bottles and a handbook to make it look like I wasn't just crying

When I'm with you I want to be on an airplane so I can use the oxygen mask to keep from losing my breathe

Everyone I used to know has either forgotten that I used to smile or is not in my life because I can’t hold that smile up for them

I want to bottle and sell the feeling I get when I look into a pretty girl's eyes and realize I'll do whatever she asks of me

Because I keep telling myself I’ve seen it all, my eyes are closed to the things I haven’t yet seen

The people around me are very supportive and interesting which would be cool if I didn’t want to be dead always

The promise you made
to love me
means more than
the promise I made
to love myself

The way you love to talk more than
****
makes me want to be the reason
you fall silent as
you hold me

Have you asked yourself
why you hold 
that which is gone
if it’s gone
it isn’t real
at least 
not to you
but you hold on
knuckles white 
like you’ve been bled 
halfway to death
as white as
the sleeping moon
you’re missing
the truth like the moon
misses the 
singing wolf 
why don’t you
bite the hand 
that bleeds you
but you’re occupied
picking up broken pieces
searching the globe
for what you
lost
if you find the strewn bits
your hands will be
in pieces
the memories will
have faded with a
harsh stain
an allusion on your eyelids
when you blink
don’t let
your eyes
stop having sight
because you looked
too long
for what is
gone

I screamed at my mother
until my voice hurt 
I knew I was crazy
but I was so scared
she looked at me 
like I was
her cup of coffee 
that had spilled
I’m afraid
I can get in trouble 
for being afraid
following the dog days 
when you dogged me 
in all ways 
nothing kept me grounded
I forgot about the earth
heart was electrified
need for sleep unrecognized
I walked towards 
who I left for you 
hoping that if 
I slept with him 
you'd hear about it 
you’d be jealous
when you called me
button 
you were really saying 
you couldn’t join two parts 
without my help
now you can only
text me when 
you’re alone 
unlike when
you needed me 
to keep your hole 
from tearing
apart

I can still see
the tidal wave
pushing past 
the kindness 
of your eyes
hatred over love, 
like
the crashing of a village’s 
chapel after
disaster—

Seize the moment
they say
live in the moment
to seize is to take
to take is to steal
I begin pickpocketing
moments for myself
and no one else

getting advice from what can
only be a moment thief

Articles with click-throughs
said I could love myself
three easy steps
ten easy steps
arbitrary quantities
erroneous
because it has taken
thousands of difficult steps
to begin loving myself
and only with the help
of moments from
strangers and tourists
in my town

The moment thief tells me
not to be scared of being scared

It tells me to be proud
of myself
never ashamed
of how I came to find out
the moment thief
does not know
what I do not know
why I like to make
generalizations
about humanity
as a whole
after being hurt by
only one person

The snatcher says to me
living is as easy as not dying

There is no use shoplifting
the only good lives
are in the street
and in the homes
be a cat burglar
ahead of the pack