When I was 10 my mum Told me that
I was special
The Next day was the First time
she told me to shut up
When I was 14 my Friends told me that
I was funny
The Next day I Heard them laugh about me
And when I was 16
You told me I was beautiful
You told me you loved me
You told me you would do anything for me
But I did not believe you
Because I learnt that people don't mean
What they say
And I did not want to get disappointed again

For a few months time
I kept a poetry notebook
Always by my side.

When I would write about
Something happy and positive
It would be written on the next page from the front of my notebook.

When I would write about
Something sad and somber or negative
I would write it on the next page from the back of my notebook.

It almost seemed like a competition then
Which would fill up my pages first?
Joy or sorrow?

Now and then I still take that notebook
Thumb it open
And examine its pages.

The only difference is
That now my happiness
Is written on my face
In the form of a smile
And you are the author
Who placed it there.

There is something that drew me to him,
That something is something that I still can't understand.

Is it that love is really blind or was I completely blurred?

And on that sunny day,
as he smiled,I could see a whole world revolve around that magic.

I knew we were going to be together,
and that was not even a doubt,
and it started with a word "Can I be a friend?"

It went slow and slow until deep wasn't even a vocabulary.

Only to realise that he does that with every other girl,
after hard you have gotten, he takes you to the biggest shock of your life.

Mind you, not a positive one
but one that blows you up like how chaff gets blown on a dry wind,
and you start feeling it, yes, the signs appear,
those signs you try to pretend you don't see them,
until 5 years when you are ready to have a wedding ring on by your now real man of your life,
After agreeing to settle all your previous nightmares....

I stood at the altar waiting to blow the biggest of blows,
"I promise to love you in happiness and sorrow, in all circumstances till death does us apart"

I looked at Charles with those eyes that wish could hide what is in my mind but,
it was a truth that I couldn't hide no more.
I didn't want to mess others life like he did me.

"Charles, I am *** positive"

The church turned into a mourning place and all I could remember were dreams of the Sunny Day and the once-upon-a-time-boyfriend-that-*******-me-into-pieces..

If Love is a disease
then I'm very sick
but incredibly happy....

Buy me moments.
Buy me moments of frappe and cappuccino where we can have deep conversations.

Buy me moments,
Of love in whispers,
Of tea in small antique cups,
Of life away from drama.

Buy me moments,
That will make me forget materialism,
That will make me yearn for longer nights on the terrace,
Singing songs as old as the museum,
And burying ourselves away from what they call “modern and trendy”.

Buy me moments,
Enough of them,
To make me declare you as my own.