I can't be your first love
The one who's name waits on your tongue
To lash out and remind me
I am small within her shadow

I can't be your first love
With mocha skin
Red wine dripped lips
And the touch that may still creep into your dreams

I can't be the first love
You waited months to kiss
In a firework glow
(I wanted you more, God only knows)

I can't be the first love
Who captured you
With artemis' grace
And her goddess confidence
(Rather, I'm the stumbling deer in your headlights)

I can't be the one
Who coiled around you
Demanded princess treatments
No, I never fit right on a pedestal

I can't be her
Though I've wished I could
When the way you say her name
Holds more than just nostalgia

Now I know she's got the front row seats
Serial effect on her side
But don't put me in the nosebleeds
Cause the previews always come
Before the main event
Yes, I can't be your first love
But I'd love to be second

If the night could laugh
It would have the rhythms of your voice,
My favourite lullaby

If the light of an autumn dusk could could see
Its eyes would shine a bister glow
Of the gems that plate your irises

If a fleeting midnight's breeze could speak
It would have your voice
Whispering that same words you love to chime

If only the night could breathe
Perhaps it would be as beautiful as you

Keeping up appearances,
Shutting the dark vibe down.
Keeping up appearances,
Putting on a crown.
Keeping up appearances,
Make a smile out of a frown.

Keeping up appearances,
But quietly you drown.

The drug
The high
The confusion
The craving
The withdrawal

The brain feels overwhelmed
The noise creates chaos in my mind
The silence I seek
The alone time I need

The anxiety kicks in
Struggling to breathe...
Overthinking creates an addiction, to the things that cause mind suppression.

My mind is noisy, with thoughts of occurrences that have happened, and some not.
I try not to depress myself, but mistakenly think too far in the future, then get disappointed because expectations have not been reached.
Busy, distracted, chaotic, and unfocused.

I reach no end to where my mind goes...
A path of little thoughts that creates an explosion and downfall.

I crave the drugs to give my mind a rest.
To give it a sense of peacefulness...
I have failed lifes tests.

Tense, tight, my mind implodes.
Burn my thoughts and bury them in ashed coal.

Cannot sleep
Cannot close my eyes
Always in a state of overthinking...
Like my brain is constantly blinking

As a fan of new beginnings,
I would like an end
To this existence made of dolls
All "perfect" and pretend

As fragile as the china that is the fabric
Woven into their souls
But not over the pit of hatred within
That emits through the holes

Pulsating wavelengths of bitter hatred
Black, odious and vile
An energy, the negative charge
That turns down many a smile

The friction within the air
That could tear it apart so easily
But is resisted by social norms...
"Perfection", all pretend..

So pick me up and let me fall
So I may shatter myself into pieces
That may reform into something better
Hiding away in niches...

*Afraid of confrontation and inspection, too strong....

Sure as day always follows night
There shall always be those who write