I really, really
*Miss you

Why do I always think that you care for me, too?
Why do I always assume that I'm a part of your thoughts?

Why am I being so stupid...

all we have are
all those stolen moments -

late nights and
wee hours of the morning

long walks and talks
that got me wondering
are these all we're ever getting -

the laughter in the backseat,
and little exchanges in the crowd
you showing up unannounced
or driving by late at night to hang out

the casual arm around my shoulder
or your guiding hand on my back

when you peeled me off the sidewalk
and drove me around campus

sat down beside me
on the steps
of that hallowed hall
at three in the morning
after everyone made sure
to have me remember them

and so I was kept more than drunk
when I gave you a hug

then the world spun around me

out of alcohol,

or perhaps the end swirling around

and as I made my way inside

I kept your eyes on mine
even as I closed the door

because I had this plane to catch
while you, your plans to draft

and between us our entire lives

so, maybe, all those moments
are all we're ever really getting

You and me
Used to be
Harmonic company
No one like you, No one like me
Our heads in trees
Swinging in glee
But then one day
I saw you in
an intriguing way
Then we talked
you felt the same
But it wouldn't work
We saw it the same
We went our own paths
along different roads
Even though
I still miss you so

I love you.
But are we the same anymore?
I am not saying we shall break.
But just a mere question of wonder.
Are we?
Are we truthfully going to get threw this?
I know me as myself.
That i may be able to but it will take every piece of strength i have inside of me.
I love you.
You know i do.
I've told you almost everything of me.
Besides the one part of my past no one shall ever know besides me and j.
I've told you i trust you.
I mean that.
I do.
I've told you i'll be with you forever.
I meant that as well.
You know i will forever love you apart or together.
But I think ive become someone else new.
We we're not speaking for a few months.
And i changed.
You have been able to tell of this.
I have become who i was before.
But just stronger.
I have finally beat the stuff that killed me inside.
Now i can ignore it.
But you tell me your sad again.
This back and forthing of being sad then the other person being happy.
Isnt it tiresome?
I hope you know every word ive said I have meant.
We have been threw our fights.
We have been threw our scares.
We have been threw wiping each others tears.
Every problem you know them.
You know my addictions.
You know my life.
You know how much it compares to everyone elses.
You know the death defying things ive seen.
You know my secrets.
You've held me while i cry for hours.
You've held my wrist when all that happened.
You make me smile.
But also make me cry.
You've become my dying friend to me.
Only i tell you I love you.
You've filled the hole that he had kept in his hands.
You dont know how i feel because i hide it with a smile..
If i say goodbye...
Will you still be here?
I'm not saying goodbye.
But its again.
A mere question of wonder..
I love you.
Keep that in mind my dear.
But if i do one day say goodbye.
Please dont make this whole become empty because you know nobody could fill it again.
So please do not destroy me.
Because i'll forever be in love with you.